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Illustration results for marriage

Contributed By:
Rick Pendleton
 
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YOU FOLLOW WHAT YOU'RE TIED TO

Two hunters were out hunting and come upon what appeared at first as an abandoned farm. The barn was sagging, the house was in disrepair, and there were junk cars and car parts lying around. The only thing that made it a working farm were a few chickens pecking away and a goat wandering around.

As they entered the yard they came across an old well.
One asked the other "Wonder how deep it is."

The other said, "We'll have to drop something down and listen for the splash."

They look around for something to drop down the well, but the only thing close by was an old transmission. They both hauled it over to the well and dropped it in. They counted and waited a long time for the splash. It was deep, deep one all right.

They turned to leave and saw the goat was charging at them, head down, horns headed straight for them. At the last moment they jumped aside, and the goat went right past them and straight over the side and down the well. They looked at each other in amazement.

As they started to leave, the owner of the farm came up.
They chatted for a moment and got permission to hunt on his land. The farmer asked, "Have you seen my goat?"

They said, "Your goat almost killed us charging at us.
You should have had that goat tied up."

The farmer, "I thought I had him tied up to an old transmission."

LESSON: You follow what you're tied to

 
Contributed By:
MELVIN NEWLAND
 
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The story is told of a little boy sitting on his front steps with his face cradled in his hands, looking so forlorn. His dad came home just then & asked him what was wrong. The little boy looked up & said, "Well, just between us, Dad, I’m having trouble getting along with your wife, too!"

 
Contributed By:
Davon Huss
 
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A. A Kentucky mountaineer fighting overseas in WW1 kept getting nagging letters from his wife back home. He was too busy fighting to write letters, even to his wife. At last, angered by his wife’s scolding letters, he sat down and wrote her: "Dear Nancy: I been a-gittin yore naggin letters all along. Now I want to tell ye, I’m tired of them. For the first time in my life I’m a-fightin in a big war, and I want to enjoy it in peace as long as it lasts."

 
Contributed By:
Russell Brownworth
 
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Patience:
And, of course, my favorite given to me some time ago by my elder, married daughter, Jennifer:
I pray for -
Wisdom - to understand my man;
Love - to forgive him;
Patience - for his moods;
...

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Contributed By:
Lynn Floyd
 
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A man and his wife were shopping at a mall and a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. The man’s eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, his wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you’re in?"

 
Contributed By:
Victor Nazareth
 
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Love is a dream. Marriage is the alarm clock!

 
Contributed By:
Dru Ashwell
 
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One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to
do it.
The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and
he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof ! God gave him a
rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman.

She looked at the map, then walked across the bridge.

 
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My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobodies friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments, wreck marriages, and ruin careers -- cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses...

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Contributed By:
Timothy Smith
 
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So many people in relationships try to change the other person. Reminds me of the young fiancé who, after learning that her husband to be didn’t believe like she did, cried to her mother saying, “Mom, what should I do? How can I change his thinking? He says he doesn’t believe in hell?” The Mother said, “Honey, that’s alright, you marry him and both of us will make him believe in hell.”

 
Contributed By:
Josh Hunt
 
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JEALOUS IN A RESTAURANT

There is an old story about an older couple having dinner in a restaurant. The wife sees another couple about their age sitting in a booth nearby. She sees the husband sitting close to his wife, with his arm around her. He is whispering things in her ear, and she is smiling and blushing. He’s gently rubbing her shoulder and touching her hair.

The woman turns to her husband and says, "Look at the couple over there. Look how close that man is to his wife, how he’s talking to her. Look at how sweet he is. Why don’t you ever do that?"

Her husband looks up from his Caesar salad and glances over at the next booth. Then he turns to his wife and says, "Honey, I don’t even know that woman."


Eggerichs, E. (2010). Love & respect. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

 
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