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Contributed By:
Davon Huss
 
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A. A Kentucky mountaineer fighting overseas in WW1 kept getting nagging letters from his wife back home. He was too busy fighting to write letters, even to his wife. At last, angered by his wife’s scolding letters, he sat down and wrote her: "Dear Nancy: I been a-gittin yore naggin letters all along. Now I want to tell ye, I’m tired of them. For the first time in my life I’m a-fightin in a big war, and I want to enjoy it in peace as long as it lasts."

 
Contributed By:
Victor Nazareth
 
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Love is a dream. Marriage is the alarm clock!

 
Contributed By:
Dru Ashwell
 
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One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to
do it.
The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and
he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof ! God gave him a
rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman.

She looked at the map, then walked across the bridge.

 
Contributed By:
John  Williams III
 
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Baptism is a lot like a wedding ring. Baptism is symbolic of the washing away of our sins. It is also symbolic of a new way of life. It has been said that Baptism is to the Christian faith what the wedding ring is to a marriage. It is a symbol. "Like the wedding ring, baptism draws a mark on the ground between the past and the future. Like the wedding ring, it says, "From this d...

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Contributed By:
Rodney Buchanan
 
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Annie Dillard, in her book The Writing Life, tells of an experiment that was done with butterflies. The experiment involved placing a male butterfly with a female butterfly of his own species. Then they placed a painted cardboard butterfly alongside them. The cardboard butterfly was bigger than the female — bigger than any female could ever be. The male ignored the living female butterfly next to him and went to the painted cardboard butterfly over and over again. Dillard adds, “Nearby, the real, living female opens and closes her wings in vain.” It is a picture of the world in which countless males are trapped today. Staring at painted cardboard butterflies they are squandering their own resources and defrauding the real, living, breathing females in their homes. But then you don’t have to establish a relationship with cardboard butterflies. You don’t have to put up with their failures — nor do they have to live with you and discover yours. There are no expectations from you. You don’t have to communicate with them. An inviting smile is painted on their faces and they don’t even know you. Perhaps it is better that way.

 
Contributed By:
Warner Pidgeon
 
Topic: Narnia
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In ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’ Edmund’s love for ‘Turkish Delight’ caused him to betray his family. He fell into the trap set by the Witch and since it tasted so good he became obsessed with getting more ‘Turkish Delight’. The temptation of luscious ‘Turkish Delight’ became stronger even than his family loyalty; (that’s often what happens when a marriage breaks down due to adultery). Later in the book as the Witch prepares to kill Edmund he is rescued by troops from Aslan’s army. Next morning Edmund comes face to face with his brother Peter and his sisters Lucy and Susan. At this point there could have been an almighty family brawl, the type of brawl which I hope and pray you do not experience this Christmas!

But there’s no brawl and no harsh words. After talking with Edmund Aslan says, “Here is your brother; and there is no need to talk to him about what is past.”

Edmund shook hands with each of the others and said to each of them in turn, “I’m sorry”.

Aslan rescued Edmund, and Edmund was restored to his brothers and sisters. That’s how God desires to be with us. God says, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”

 
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At a convention with their wives, two businessmen who had been roommates in college crossed paths. They sat in the lobby all night talking. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives. The next day they happened to see each other. "What did your wife think?"
"I walked in the door and my wife got historical."
"Don’t you mean hysterical?"
"No, historical. She told me everything I ever did wrong."

 
Contributed By:
Russell Brownworth
 
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Patience:
And, of course, my favorite given to me some time ago by my elder, married daughter, Jennifer:
I pray for -
Wisdom - to understand my man;
Love - to forgive him;
Patience - for his moods;
...

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Contributed By:
Owen Bourgaize
 
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If you look at a sundial on a cloudy day, the pointer doesn’t leave a shadow to indicate the time, it’s quite ineffective in that state. Without the “sealing of the Spirit” we’re just like that sundial, failing to live up to expectation and realizing our potential as the children of God, as salt and light in a corrupt and dark world.


 
Contributed By:
Darren Ethier
 
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There was a couple who were sitting with a marriage counselor for their first session and the good doctor asked them to identify what seemed to be the root of their problems. The wife responded, "It all started when we thought it would be cute to think up each other’s New Year’s resolutions" (Houston Post, 12/31/91, quoted in Autoillustrator.com, NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS/FAULT FINDING.)

 
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