Sermon Central
It’s “'Time for breakfast!' I would hear my mother say, 'Your father’s getting ready to go!'”
My good friend John is 70 years old, but his memories of his father are still in the back of his mind.
“There were lots of days when I would wake up early and get dressed as fast as I could,” he told us. “I’d be hunting for my long johns, smelling the bacon and eggs cooking downstairs, and listening for my father’s voice.
“Before he took me out with him to the farm to work, he’d always tell me the plans for the day. I can still remember the sounds of starting up the tractor and making sure we had our coffee thermos and snacks in the large weathered brown paper bag.
“I couldn’t wait to sit beside him at the breakfast table and then climb up beside him on the tractor. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was getting daily lessons in what it meant to be a real man and just as important, a leader!”
In John’s years on the farm, he got everyday lessons in how to make man-sized decisions. Like the time their harvesting combine broke down and they had to work all night to fix it. Or the time their bull got out and trampled a neighbor’s dog. Their neighbors were furious, and he got to see his father resolve the problem.
By watching his dad work, love and care about the needs of others, John was able to see what leadership looks like. How to react. What to stand for. What to fight against. When to be compassionate.
Unfortunately, this kind of mentoring rarely happens today, whether talking about dads or especially in regards to developing leaders. Our super technology and fast-paced lifestyles don’t cater to training by example. An average leader working 60-plus hours a week will usually barely have time to keep up with his or her own family much less the opportunity to mentor someone else.
What’s left is for courses and books to try and tell the apprentice what a leader does and what it takes instead of helping them view it for themselves. And what’s sacrificed is what young people in an agrarian society had—the shoulder-to-shoulder, side-by-side mentoring of a leader.
Mentoring is by far one of the most important relationship concepts in the Bible. Jesus did not ask the 12 men he discipled to meet him weekly for a few hours at the temple for breakfast and a devotional. He was “with them”. He took them everywhere he went. He created a “safe” environment for them to develop and learn. He not only taught them in the Sermon on the Mount, but not too long after he showed them what faith and trust really meant as they encountered the centurion who had “great faith”. They saw his emotion of anger in the temple rebuking the moneychangers. They witnessed his distress over the death of Lazarus. They heard his challenges to be much more than “men of little faith”. Jesus was the master of mentoring. We later see the apostle Paul do much of the same with Timothy.
“Leaders are born, not made,” someone might say. But looking at the examples by Jesus, we see that he built a close enough relationship with each man. He knew their strengths and more importantly, their weaknesses. He knew when to reprove one and have compassion on the other. Mentoring is much like parenting. It is an intentional relationship. Yes, it has a plan, but more importantly, it involves love and commitment.
The lack of positive mentors today is the first thing missing from most churches and even organizations. It has created a hole, with the result being a lack of quality leaders who are needed to lead by example. Fortunately, it’s one of the most solvable problems.
In the Scriptures, God made sure we know we’re members of a family. In 1 Timothy, we’re told that we have “spiritual fathers” and “spiritual mothers”—even “brothers and sisters”—to relate to. If we missed out on the mentoring process with our fathers and with others, then linking up with a godly model today can be one of the most important things we’ll ever do.
A mentor who helped me develop a leader’s heart was a man named Rod Towes. He loved Christ, the young men from my church, and me. He stepped to my side when my father died, and his influence has meant the world to me over the years. At a time when I needed a leader’s presence the most, Rod would often call me at home. “Hey, Smalley,” he’d say. “I’ve got to go and meet with someone from my church. How about you come along with me so I don’t have to ride alone?”
He made it seem as if I was doing him a favor. But those times with Rod were actually a tremendous blessing to me. Time after time, Rod would take me with him to meet an important pastor or teacher who was his friend.
“Meet my good friend Gary,” he’d say. And I’d get to shake hands with another man who was making a vital difference in the Christian community. Those meetings gave me the right example of a leader who loves Jesus and the word of God. Rod would often quote me his memory verse and challenge me to memorize the same verse. He taught me about the value of hiding God’s word in your heart, and more importantly, he showed me how.
Spending time with Rod at work, at play, with his family, and with our small group—those were some of the most important teaching times in my life, and they were all accomplished outside the classroom.
Jesus gave us an example of every kind of method to follow as we study his life. For some reason we are too busy to imitate one of the most important ones when it comes to leading. Maybe our challenge is that it takes a humble person to mentor someone else. You have to be honest about your failures and sin. You know you are now accountable to those who follow you. On the other hand, it is by far the most powerful way to develop committed disciples of Jesus Christ. God created us for relationships, and he teaches us best in the context of those relationships! Learn from our master teacher and become a mentor!
Dr. Gary Smalley is one of the country’s best known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is on the schedule as a featured speaker for the upcoming Rethink Conference. Dr. Smalley is the author the new Change Your Heart…Change Your Life and co-author of 16 other best sellers, with over 5 million copies in print. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won the Gold Medallion Award for excellence in literature. Find out more at www.garysmalley.com.