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Little Johnny’s grandfather was something of a philosopher and never missed an opportunity to give out bits of sage advice to his grandson.

“Yessirree, Johnny,” he said one day, “remember, fools are certain, but wise men hesitate.”

“Are you sure, Grandpa?” asked Johnny.

“Yes, my boy,” said the old man, laying his gnarled hand on the youth’s head, “I’m absolutely certain.”

Bits and Pieces, January, 1990, p. 9

 
Contributed By:
Raymond Maurer
 
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Did you hear about the woman who accidentally glued herself to the floor this week in West Virginia? “Joyce Stewart sat in her robe at the head of her kitchen table as she drank her morning coffee while visiting with relatives. While seated, she lifted her heel up and applied a liquid bandage product to the back of her foot. She didn’t realize that the liquid had also dripped to the bottom of her foot before she relaxed her foot on the floor.

When her grandson came in and asked for pancakes she tried to get up and laughed when she discovered her foot was stuck. All of her relatives were laughing until they could not get her loose. She tried to free herself with a knife, until her foot started to bleed. Paramedics worked with Q-tips and baby oil for more than an hour to get Stewart’s foot free. She was thankful that it happened when company was over. She lives alone and couldn’t imagine the thought of being ‘glued to the floor for days.’

Stewart is expecting a full recovery, but it may take her pride a bit longer to heal. She said, ‘I was embarrassed…I was still in my robe.’ Representatives from 3M have extended an offer to pay for any medical expenses. Although the package states that the product runs easily and sets quickly, it doesn’t warn against gluing your body parts to the floor or anything else”
(Edited from Misty Higgins, The Journal, Martinsburg, WV. 7/21/2004, journal-news.net).

In our sue-happy culture, many immediately think that Joyce Stewart has excellent grounds for a lawsuit. Some would say this company should be held accountable for the products it produces. Job has the exact same mindset. Job has been stuck and his family and friends have been of no help in getting him free. So in our text today (Job 10-14) he again appeals to God. But this time he takes it a step further, he wants to take God to court.

 
Contributed By:
K. Edward "Ed" Skidmore
 
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So I’m going to share with you a list I came up with of Seven steps guaranteed to embitter your Children:

1. Discipline your child only when you lose your temper. Let him get away with everything, then without warning, let ‘em have it! Blow your top! Scream and Yell! Let ‘er Rip! Go Crazy! That’s the way to let your child know “who’s REALLY in control around here.”

2. Give your child everything she wants right away. Don’t make her earn it! Gadgets and Toys and Video Games and Designer Clothes and Cars and good old Cash --- all of these make a GREAT substitute for your love and attention. And don’t worry; it won’t take long for your child to prefer the STUFF you provide over spending time with you.

3. As often as possible, compare your child to someone else --- a brother or sister is usually the best choice. Statements like, “Why can’t you be like Johnny” are sure to spur your child on to success!

4. Don’t let your child suffer the natural consequences of his actions. If your child gets in ANY sort of trouble, jump right in and make lots of excuses for him. Argue with his teachers; blame his friends; leave the church; sue the school --- but don’t let anyone hold your child accountable. … If you don’t come to the rescue every time, your child might develop respect for authority … and where will THAT get him in life?

5. Don’t waste time LISTENING to your child. Jump down her throat as soon as she opens her mouth. After all, you already know everything she’s going to say, right? Besides that, if you’re understanding and reasonable, she might start wanting to talk things over with you … and that would NEVER do!

6. Treat your child with constant suspicion. Expect the worst. Classic comments like “Can’t you do ANYTHING right?” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” can save your child from aiming too high in life.

7. If your child does anything wrong, NEVER let them...

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