|  Forgot password?
For Easter - Free Sermons & Media Collection »
Home » All Resources » Illustrations » Illustration search: 25 results  Refine your search 

Illustration results for Adam And Eve

Contributed By:
Rob Culler
 
Scripture:

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

View linked Sermon

One of golf’s immortal moments came when a Scotsman demonstrated the new game to President Ulysses Grant. Carefully placing the ball on the tee, he took a mighty swing. The club hit the turf and scattered dirt all over the President’s beard and surrounding vicinity, while the ball placidly waited on the tee. Again the Scotsman swung, and again he missed. Our President waited patiently through six tries and then quietly stated, “There seems to be a fair amount of exercise in the game, but I fail to see the purpose of the ball.” (Campus Life)

 
Contributed By:
Dr. Larry  Petton
 
Scripture:

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

A pastor went out visiting his church members on a Saturday afternoon. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the minister took out his church business card and wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door: The verse says, "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with me."

The next day at church, surprisingly, the pastor’s card turned up in the offering plate. Below the preacher’s message was written the following quote from Genesis 3:10: "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

 
Contributed By:
Rob Culler
 
Scripture:
none

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

View linked Sermon

One day Adam and his boys were out for a walk and happened upon the Garden of Eden. One of the boys said, “Dad, what is that place?” Adam responded, “Guys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”

 
Contributed By:
Steven Simala Grant
 
Scripture:
none
 

View linked Sermon

HOW MUCH IS THAT?

Now I can’t find this in the Bible, but perhaps you’ve heard the story that before Eve was created, God was talking with Adam. He said, “You really need a helper, don’t you?” And Adam answered, “Yeah, I really do.”

So God said, “What if I make a woman? She’ll be perfect for you. She’ll be beautiful. She’ll rub your back at night, & your feet in the morning. She’ll plop grapes into your mouth. She’ll prepare all your favorite meals without fail. She’ll clean up the kitchen & take care of the kids. You’ll never have to do a thing, just sit around & be the king of your household.”

Adam said, “Boy, that sounds great, but...

Continue reading with a Free PRO Subscription...

 
Contributed By:
MELVIN NEWLAND
 
Scripture:
none

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

View linked Sermon

Now I can’t find this in the Bible, but perhaps you’ve heard the story that before Eve was created, God was talking with Adam. He said, “You really need a helper, don’t you?” And Adam answered, “Yeah, I really do.”

So God said, “What if I make a woman? She’ll be perfect for you. She’ll be beautiful. She’ll rub your back at night, & your feet in the morning. She’ll plop grapes into your mouth. She’ll prepare all your favorite meals without fail. She’ll clean up the kitchen & take care of the kids. You’ll never have to do a thing, just sit around & be the king of your household.”

Adam said, “Boy, that sounds great, but how much is this going to cost?” God said, “Well, it’s pretty expensive. It will cost you an arm & a leg.” Adam thought for a moment & then asked, “How much can I get for a rib?”

 
Scripture:

Suggest a Scripture Reference

Tags: none (add tag)
 
Rate this Resource

As we begin this new series on the Bible I thought I’d share some Biblical Bloopers with you. These are s-lightly skewed scriptural insights from children of Christian and Jewish faiths:

- In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took
the Sabbath off.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
- Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
- Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is
bread made without any ingredients.
- The Egyptians were all drowned in the desert.
- Afterward. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
- The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The Fifth Commandment is "Humor thy father and mother."
- The Seventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
- The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed
him.
- Solomon, one of David’s sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
- When the three wise guys from the east side showed up, they found Jesus and the
manager.
- Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption. St. John, the Blacksmith,
dumped water on his head.
- Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which is "Do one to others before they do one to
you."
- The Bible says a man is only supposed to have one wife. This is called monotony.

©1998 John Boy & Billy Inc.

 
Contributed By:
Dru Ashwell
 
Scripture:
none

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

Sherlock Holmes was sent to heaven to find Adam and Eve. He came back within a day and said he had found them.
Watson: "How did you find them so quickly?"
Sherlock: "Elementary, my dear Watson, they were the only ones that didn’t have belly buttons!"

 
Scripture:
none
 

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"

L...

Continue reading with a Free PRO Subscription...

 
Scripture:
none

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

FROM: YS OPERATIONS
SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee’s restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated.

Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If the employee’s Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee’s voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone’s picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mikey’s Thot for the Day:
Adam and Eve lived thousands of years BC [Before Clothing].

www.MikeysFunnies.com!

 
Scripture:
none

Suggest a Scripture Reference

 
Rate this Resource

British Children’s Answers To Church School Questions:

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
The fifth commandment is Humor thy father and mother.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire at night.
When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang the Magna Carta.
Salome was a woman who danced naked in front of Harrods.
Holy acrimony is another name for marriage.
The Pope lives in a vacuum.
Paraffin is next in order after seraphim.
The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
Iran is the Bible of Moslems.
A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible.
The natives of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
It is sometimes difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.

 
<< Previous
1
New Better Preaching Articles
Featured Resource
Today's Most Popular
Sponsored Links