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Contributed By:
Brian Mavis
 
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OCCUPATIONAL HYMNS

~ Astronaut: "Nearer My God, To Thee"
~ Baker: "I Need Thee Every Hour"
~ Barber: "A Parting Hymn We Sing"
~ Baseball Batter: "Seek Thee First"
~ Builder: "How Firm A Foundation" and "The Church’s One Foundation"
~ Canoeist: "Flow, River, Flow"
~ Carpenter: "The Nail Scarred Hand"
~ Children’s Librarian: "We’ve A Story To Tell"
~ Chiropractor: "Awake My Soul, Stretch Every Nerve"
~ Civil Engineer: "When I Survey The Wondrous Cross"
~ Dentist: "Crown Him With Many Crowns"
~ Electrician: "O Joyful Light" and "Send The Light"
~ Fisherman: "Shall We Gather At The River?"
~ Golfer: "There Is A Green Hill Far Away"
~ Gossiper: "Pass It On," "It Is No Secret," and "Oh, For A Thousand Tongues"
~ Historian: "Tell Me The Old, Old Story"
~ IRS: "All To Thee (I Owe)" and "We Give Thee But Thine Own"
~ Jogger: "The Path Of Life"
~ Lifeguard: "Come To The Water"
~ Long-Distance Trucker: "On The Highways And Byways Of Life"
~ Mathematician: "10,000 Times, 10,000 Times"
~ Medical Technician: "Revive Us Again"
~ Mountain Climber: "The Rock That Is Higher Than I"
~ Newlywed: "I Need Thee Every Hour"
~ Obstetrician: "He Is Able To Deliver Thee"
~ Optometrist: "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See" and "When I Can Read My Title Clear"
~ Paratrooper: "Now On Land And Sea Descending"
~ Philosopher: "I Am Thinking Today"
~ Politician: "Standing On The Promises"
~ Real Estate Agent: "I’ve Got A Mansion"
~ Sailboater: "Deep River"
~ Sceptic: "Almost Persuaded"
~ Shopper: "Sweet By And By"
~ Speech Therapist: "He Never Said A Mumbling Word"
~ Steeple Builder: "Lift High The Cross"
~ Stonecutter: "Rock Of Ages"
~ Switchboard Operator: "There’s A Call Comes Ringing"
~ Tailor: "Holy, Holy, Holy"
~ Voice Teacher: "Sing Them Over Again To Me"
~ Watchmaker: "Take Time To Be Holy"
~ Watchman: "Silent Night"
~ Weatherman: "There Shall Be Showers Of Blessings"

 
Contributed By:
Russell Brownworth
 
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The only kind of Jesus we have ever seen with our own eyes is a man playing the role. A few of our men have portrayed the suffering Jesus in our Easter presentation. They did a wonderful job, but they were only playing the part; the blood was stage makeup, and the nails were not really piercing their hands and feet. The scourging and blows from the guards were well-acted "near misses" - a good thing, I’d have hated to see a fight during our worship service!

With Emmanuel it was a different story - the blood was real, as were the stripes on his back, crown of thorns on his brow, and death! Emmanuel means it was God near us who suffered and died.

 
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A REAL MAGIC WAND

Laurie Beth Jones tells in her book, Grow Something Besides Old. She talks about one Halloween night when she had underestimated the number of children who would come to the door to trick or treat, and she ran out of candy. In desperation, she began giving out quarters, nickels, and dimes.

One little girl about 5-years-old dressed as a fairy princess came to her door. She had the little crown and wand and everything. Jones dropped two quarters into the child’s sack, and said to her, "I’ve run out of candy, but tomorrow you can take these coins to the store an...

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Contributed By:
Paul Fritz
 
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Where Am I Going?

It’s comforting to hear that even Albert Einstein had a brain cramp
now and then.

One time, for instance, he was taking a train to an out of town
engagement. The conductor stopped by to punch his ticket, but
the great scientist preoccupied with his work, explained that he
couldn’t find his ticket. Not in the coat pockets, not in the
briefcase.

The conductor said, "We all know who you are, Dr. Einstein. I’m
sure you bought ticket. Don’t worry about it."

As the conductor moved along, he looked back to see Einstein on
his hands and knees searching under the seats for his ticket. The
conductor walked back, "Dr. Einstein, please, don’t worry about it.
I know who you are."

Exasperated, Einstein looked up and said, "I, too, know who I am.
What I don’t know is where I’m going."

F...

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