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Illustration results for Endurance

Contributed By:
Richard Crow
 
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Norman Cates shared the humorous story of a guy who prayed this prayer every morning: "Lord, if you want me to witness to someone today, please give me a sign to show me who it is." One day he found himself on a bus when a big, burly man sat next to him. The bus was nearly empty but this guy sat next to our praying friend. The timid Christian anxiously waited for his stop so he could exit the bus. But before he could get very nervous about the man next to him, the big guy burst into tears and began to weep. He then cried out with a loud voice, "I need to be saved. I’m a lost sinner and I need the Lord. Won’t somebody tell me how to be saved?" He turned to the Christian and pleaded, "Can you show me how to be saved?" The believer immediately bowed his head and prayed, "Lord, is this a sign?" Are you looking for a "sign" to start witnessing?

 
Contributed By:
Scott Weber
 
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In his book Fuzzy Memories, Jack Handey writes: There used to be this bully who would demand my lunch money every day. Since I was smaller, I would give it to him. Then I decided to fight back. I started taking karate lessons. But then the karate lesson guy said I had to start paying him five dollars a lesson. So I just went back to paying the bully.
Too many people feel it is easier just to pay the bully than it is to learn how to defeat him.

 
Contributed By:
Perry Greene
 
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LOOKING FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN'T FIND

I heard about a man who was drafted into the army. While in the army he developed a very strange habit. As he walked along each day he kept picking up pieces of paper, saying to himself aloud, "That's not it!" He would pick up one piece of paper after another and say, "That's not it. That's not it!" This went on for about six months.

His bizarre behavior was finally brought to the attention of his superiors. They ordered him to report to the base psychiatrist. The psychiatrist asked, "What is wrong with you? What is the problem?"

The man had a baffled expression on his face as he said, "What problem? I don't have a problem."

The psychiatrist said, "Well, there's got to be something wrong with you. It has been reported to me that you keep going all over this base picking up pieces of paper and saying, 'That's not it, that's not it!" So, tell me, just what is it you are looking for?"

The man said, "I don't know. I just don't seem to be able to find it."

The psychiatrist consulted some of his colleagues, and then told the man, "I think your problem is serious, and I'm going to give you a medical discharge from the Army."

When the psychiatrist handed him the discharge papers, the man jumped up and shouted excitedly, "This is it! This is it! This is what I've been looking for!"

 
Contributed By:
Dru Ashwell
 
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In Bill Gates’ new book Business @ The Speed of Thought, he lays out 11 rules that students do not learn in high school or college, but should.
He argues that our feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality who are set up for failure in the real world.

RULE 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it.
RULE 2 - The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
RULE 3 - You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both a high school and college degree.
RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
RULE 5- Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping, they called it opportunity.
RULE 6 - If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills; cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try "delousing"
the clothes in your own room.
RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they wil...

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Contributed By:
Lynn Floyd
 
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One summer night during a severe thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn the light off when he asked in a trembling voice, "Mommy, will you stay with me all night?" Smiling, the mother gave him a warm, reassuring hug and said tenderly, "I can’t dear. I have to sleep in Daddy’s room." A long silence followed. At last it was broken by a shaky voice saying, "The big sissy!"

 
Contributed By:
Richard Jones
 
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Many years ago, executives of the Time-Life publishing organization discovered that the company’s profit margin had shrunk to an alarmingly low level. Consequently, they began an intensive effort to try to cut costs.

Efficiency experts suggested that substantial savings could be effected in the renewal department. There were 350 people working full time sending heartbreaking pleas to readers whose subscriptions were about to expire.

(For example, "Will you dare face your children without "Time" magazine on your coffee table?")

In any case, enormous quantities of these letters were being prepared manually. It was calculated that if a machine could be found to replace the manual labor, millions of dollars in overhead would be saved. In time, IBM came to the rescue with an enormous computer, delivered to Time-Life in a blaze of klieg lights and fanfare. Then the New system was installed.

The name of each subscriber was put on a separate little plate and run through the vast machine. Whenever a nameplate came along that was within six weeks of expiration, a series of dots and dashes at the top of the tab triggered an electronic impulse that caused it to drop into a slot. The name was then affixed to one of the "heartbreaking" letters which was then folded, stuffed into an envelope, labeled, stamped, and dropped down a chute to the basement where a United States Branch Post Office was set up--all without a single human hand touching the operation.

The system worked flawlessly for a while, until that fateful, hot, humid, sticky day in New York City when one of the nameplates stuck in the machine. A few days later a lone sheepherder in Montana received 12,634 tear jerking letters asking him to subscribe to "Life" magazine.

The sheepherder, who hadn’t received a letter in years, took his knife, carefully slit open one of the mailbags and began reading his mail. Three weeks later, red-eyed, weary and up to his hips in 12,634 opened pieces of mail, he made out a check for $6.00, filled out a subscription coupon and sent it to the President of Time-Life personally, with the following note:

"I give up!"

That’s a story to remember, when you begin to wonder about the limit of God’s mercy. You don’t have to plead or beg for it. You don’t have to ask Him 12,634 or 1,000 or 100 times for it. You don’t have to ask him even once for it. God’s mercy is always there, always being offered, always present to you. God has already said,

"I give up: I love you; I forgive you.”

 
Contributed By:
Michael Cassara
 
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After spending 3 ˝ hours enduring the long lines, rude clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, a man stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for his son. He brought his selection, a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge" the clerk asked. "Cash" the man snapped. Then apologizing for his rudeness he explained, "I’ve spent the afternoon and the motor vehicle bureau." The clerk sweetly asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat or are you going back there?"

 
Contributed By:
Randy Aly
 
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A young man had been promoted to an important position in his company. He’d never dreamed he’d be in such a position, much less at such a young age. So he went to see the venerable old timer in the company, and said, "Sir, I was wondering if you could give me some ADVICE." The old timer came back with just two words: "Right decisions!" The young man had hoped for a bit more than this, so he said, "Thank you, that’s really helpful, and I appreciate it, but could you be a little more SPECIFIC? HOW do I make right decisions?"
The old man responded: ...

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Contributed By:
Ted Sutherland
 
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Charles Schultz, in a peanuts comic strip showed a conversation between Lucy and Charlie Brown. Lucy said that life is like a deck chair. Some place it so they can see where they are going; some place it so they can see where they have been; and some place it so they can see where they are at present. Charlie Brown’s reply: “I can’t even get mine unfolded.”

 
Contributed By:
Scott Weber
 
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This guy is waiting for a flight that is delayed. So he’s wandering around the airport and notices this ATM like machine. It’s a flight insurance machine. For a small price, it offers insurance against a canceled flight as well as a sizeable policy if the plane were to wreck and he were to die. He thinks about it. It seems like a good idea. Just in case, he thinks, it would be good to leave a nice insurance policy behind for the family. He buys the policy. The flight is still delayed, so he goes to get some Chinese food at one of the airport restaurants. It comes with a fortune cookie. He opens it, and it says, "Recent investment will pay high dividends."

 
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