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NEVER MIND, GOD
A man was putting a tin roof on his barn when all of a sudden he slipped and began to slide down the roof. He cried out to God to save him. No sooner had he got the words out of his mouth, a nail caught his pants and stopped him. When he stopped, he said, “Never mind, God. I took care of it.”
The problem isn’t that God doesn’t perform miracles anymore. The problem is we’re not looking for God to perform miracles.
MAY THE FORKS BE WITH YOU
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal.
Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts.
All this is done with consummate ease you’d expect from a Jedi Master.
But poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, "Use the forks, Luke."
As I read the book of Acts the disciples seem more like Luke than Obi-Wan. Young disciples for whom the power of God is available and they are bumbling along trying to make use of it. But give them time. They will learn. And they will change history for ever!
SOURCE: Brett Blair, www.eSermons.com. Illustrations for May 19, 2002.
“As soon as children are old enough to speak, one of the first questions parents ask is, “How big are you?” Children seem to always give the same answer, “I’m soooo big!” They generally raise their hands to get additional stature, as if to say, “I’m huge. I’m enormous. There’s no telling how big I may be.” This is not a scientific answer. You can’t use it in every context. For example, if your spouse were to ask, “How big do my hips look to you?” you might not want to throw your hands high over your head and exclaim, “Your hips are soooo big.” You teach your children to say this because you want them to realize they are growing. We know that the way they think of themselves matters. You don’t want them to think of themselves as small, weak, and lacking adequate strength to handle the challenges of life.” But now I have a more important question: How big is your God? How big is Christ in your life? (John Ortberg. “If You Want To Walk On Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat” p. 191)
WE LOOK AT WHAT WE DON’T HAVE INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT WHAT WE DO HAVE – IF WE HAVE GOD, WE HAVE ALL WE NEED --- A story of a farmer who wanted to impress his hunting buddies. To impress them, he bought the smartest, most expensive hunting dog he could find. He trained this dog to do things no other dog on earth could do---impossible feats that would surely amaze anyone. Then he invited the neighbors to go duck hunting with him. After a long patient wait in the boat a group of ducks flew over and the hunters were able to make a few hits. Several ducks fell in the water. "Go get ‘em!" shouted the proud owner to his magnificent dog. The dog leaped out of the boat, walked on the water, and picked up a bird and returned to the boat. As soon as he dropped the duck in the boat he trotted off across the water again and grabbed another duck and brought it back to the boat. The owner beamed with pride as his wonderful dog walked across the wa...
GOD IS EVERYWHERE
Some time ago, a man wrote to Reader's Digest about his son Doug. The man said one night, Doug was looking at a full moon. Little Doug asked his mom if God was in the moon. She said, "God is everywhere." Little Doug said "Is God in my tummy?" His mother said "Well, sort of..." not knowing where these questions were leading. Then Doug declared, "God wants a banana."
(Buff Spies, in Reader's Digest, November 1991. From Leland Patrick's Sermon "When God Changed His Address")
A renowned scientist said "I have done years of research and studies to confidently conclude the validity of ’The Big Bang.’ That is really how every atom, molecule, and creature came to be. I believe God spoke and ’bang!’ it was."
Illustration: An umpire named Babe Pinelli once called Babe Ruth out on strikes. When the crowd booed with sharp disapproval at the call, the legendary Ruth turned to the umpire with disdain and said, "There’s 40,000 people here who know that the last pitch was ball, tomato head." Suspecting that the umpire would erupt with anger, the coaches and players braced themselves for Ruth’s ejection. However, the coo...
A. Todd Coget
A certain pastor observed a little girl standing outside the preschool Sunday school classroom between Sunday school and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her up for "big church."
The pastor noticed that she clutched a big storybook under her arm with the title "Jonah and the Whale."
Feeling mischievous, he knelt beside the girl and asked, "What’s that you have in your hand?"
"This is my storybook about Jonah and the whale," she answered.
"Tell me something," he continued, "do you believe that story about Jonah and the whale?"
The girl said, "Why, of course I believe it!"
The pastor inquired further, "You really believe a man can be swallowed up by a big whale, stay inside him all that time, and come out okay?"
She declared, "Yes! This story is in the Bible, and we talked about it in Sunday school today."
Then the pastor asked, "Can you prove to me this story is true?"