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Illustration results for Temptation

Contributed By:
Richard Jones
 
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It’s like the Lutheran pastor who always started each service with "The Lord be with you." The people would respond, "and also with you.”
But, one Sunday the PA system wasn’t working so the first thing he said was "There’s something wrong with this microphone." The people responded, "and also with you."

 
Contributed By:
Mark Hiehle
 
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Everyone put your hand out. Imagine with me that you have a lemon in your hand. Feel how cold it is since you just took it out of the refrigerator. Feel the two knobs on the ends? Ok, now take a knife and cut the lemon in half. Careful! Don’t cut yourself. Oh, look at the juice run down over the sides. Now, put one half down and just hold the other half of the lemon. Now, look at the inside of the cut lemon. Lean down and smell the lemon. Get a good full sense of the lemon fresh scent of the just cut lemon. Ok, now squeeze the lemon. See the juice ooze up and cover the surface of the cut lemon? Now - lick the lemon. That’s right! Lick the lemon. Ok, who feels like you have more saliva than you did a minute a go? How can that be? It was only pretend! The reason is because your body reacts to that which your mind thinks about.

 
Contributed By:
Lynn Floyd
 
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A man and his wife were shopping at a mall and a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. The man’s eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, his wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you’re in?"

 
Contributed By:
Paul Fritz
 
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An umpire named Babe Pinelli once called Babe Ruth out on strikes. When the crowd booed with sharp disapproval at the call, the legendary Ruth turned to the umpire with disdain and said, "There’s 40,000 people here who know that the last pitch was ball, tomato head." Suspecting that the umpire would erupt with anger, the coaches and players braced themselves for Ruth’s ejection. However, the cool headed Pinelli replied, "Maybe so, Babe, but mine is the only opinion that counts." Believers need to realize that God’s judgment is the only on...

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Contributed By:
Alan Perkins
 
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The comedian Jeff Foxworthy became famous with his routine, "You might be a redneck if . . . " Here are some of my favorites:
 You might be a redneck if the directions to your house include the phrase "turn off the paved road".
 You might be a redneck if your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
 You might be a redneck if you took a fishing pole to Sea World.
 You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the ’fridge.
 You might be a redneck if your dad walks you to school because you’re both in the same grade.
 You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
 You might be a redneck if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
Likewise, you might be a Pharisee if you spend a more time talking about the sins of others than you do in repenting and confessing your own.

 
Contributed By:
Alan Tison
 
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A GUIDE TO KNOWING YOU ARE MIDDLE AGED:
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
Growing old cannot be avoided – God has our life numbered, physical disciplines are good when they are done in moderation, but they will not force God into extending our life span. The gift of life is a gift from God to be used to for his purposes, for spiritual and heavenly reasons. Our concern should be to obey honor and praise and give glory to him, and let him care for us. Ps 90:12, Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

 
Contributed By:
Joe Fornear
 
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Irene Pepperberg, a visiting professor of animal behavior at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, is teaching a parrot how to surf the Internet. "Parrots are very social creatures," she says,
but people who own them "leave them alone eight or nine hours a day." She says that leads to boredom and stress, and that leads to behavioral problems. She is developing special bird-enabled software, "InterPet Explorer", to make it easier for the animals to find sites of interest, such as those showing wildlife and music, or perhaps even chat rooms populated only by animals.
-That’s all I need - my dog, Snuggles, coming up to me and saying “Dad, can you punch in the credit card number. I found some rawhide chew bones on the Internet that will help me reduce stress and boredom”. Or, “Can we take a walk. I met a bull dog in an internet chat room and he just lives right down the street.”
-But stress and boredom have led to behavioral problems in humans as well. Satan has geared modern technology to offer internet sites and videos and DVDs that fit with his perfect plan of offering alternatives to God’s peace and love and joy. Satan’s plan is to get all men entangled in some form of pornography.

 
Contributed By:
Mike DuBose
 
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Have you ever wondered why opportunity knocks once – yet temptation bangs on ...

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Contributed By:
Dr. Larry  Petton
 
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A pastor went out visiting his church members on a Saturday afternoon. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the minister took out his church business card and wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door: The verse says, "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with me."

The next day at church, surprisingly, the pastor’s card turned up in the offering plate. Below the preacher’s message was written the following quote from Genesis 3:10: "I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

 
Contributed By:
Scott Carson
 
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Let me suggest you consider the difference between dogs and cats. The master pets a dog, and the dog wags its tail and thinks, “He must be a god.” But the master pets his cat, and the cat purrs, shuts its eyes and thinks to itself, “I must be a god.” Though Jesus in grace reached down to us, there is still a perverse human tendency to think like the cat!

 
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