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Memorial Day 2013
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Most of us have experienced what happens to motorists when one of those huge graders goes to work on a highway repair job. when the machine is operating on a busy road, traffic is halted and the cars lined up in opposite directions are allowed to proceed alternately. A veteran operator of one of those big machines decided one day to try to relieve the tension that inevitably results from such a traffic backup. Consequently on both the front and rear of his grader a sign now appears, declaring, "The Road to Happiness is Almost Always Under Construction."
The humorous story is told of a baseball manger who decided to play a rookie in right field one day. The regular fielder wasn’t happy about it and loudly makes it know from the bench that it was a big mistake to play the kid.
As it turned out the rookie was so nervous that he messed up big-time. He made a couple of errors and misjudged several other fly balls that should have been called errors. Each time he messed up, the veteran complained loudly from the bench.
Finally, late in the game the manager replaced the rookie with the veteran, mostly to shut the veteran up. Not long after, the veteran mishandled the first ball hit to him for an error. As he came off the field at the end of the inning, everyone on the bench got very quiet so they could hear what he would say.
The manager was waiting for the veteran, but before the manager could address the man, the veteran ballplayer slammed his glove down in disgust and said, “Skipper, that kid has right field so messed up nobody can play it.”
Far too many preachers and pastors have messed up the doctrine of salvation. In our text we have salvation in simple language that the everyday person can understand.
MOTHER'S DAY GIFTS
What NOT to Buy Your Wife: Although the only person a man usually shops for is his wife, the whole experience is a stressful one. Many a man has felt extreme frigid temperatures for a long period based on a poor present decision. As a veteran of these wars, I’m still not sure what to buy my wife, but I’ll pass on what NOT to buy her:
1. Don’t buy anything that plugs in. Anything that requires electricity is seen as utilitarian.
2. Don’t buy clothing that involves sizes. The chances are one in seven thousand that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended the other 6999 times. "Do I look like a size 16?" she’ll say. Too small a size doesn’t cut it either: "I haven’t worn a size 8 in 20 years!"
3. Avoid all things useful. The new silver polish advertised to save hundreds of hours is not going to win you any brownie points.
4. Don’t buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She’ll perceive a six-month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that’s she’s overweight.
5. Don’t buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can’t afford. And the jewelry you can afford, she doesn’t want.
6. And, guys, do not fall into the traditional trap of bu...
