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Did you hear about the two guys who were marooned on a desert island? After a year they couldn’t stand each other. One day Rufus found an old green bottle washed up on the shore. He rubbed it, and, voila! – a genie appeared. George saw what was happening, and grabbed the bottle – Gimmie a wish, genie.
The genie refused, saying, Rufus found me, he gets to make a wish. But, I tell you what – whatever he wishes for, money, women, power – I’ll give you twice what he gets.
George said, Sounds good!
Rufus just smiled and said, Okay, genie, beat me half to death!
Bedouin camel drivers in the mid-East understand how relationships can get out-of-balance this way. Camels are notoriously moody. Their selfish ways are legendary.
From time to time a camel-driver senses his camel is fed-up with the owner. Wanting to head-off an explosion, the owner will hand his own outer coat to the camel. The camel will bite, spit-at, and trample the coat into the desert floor, until all that is left is a thread or two. Once the camel’s anger is spent, the relationship can get back on balance.
Construction workers attempt to use God to take what is Caesars. (Matt 22:15-21)
In the late 1970’s large numbers of skilled construction workers, commonly referred to as “Boomers”, traveled the country looking for work on electric power plant maintenance projects. These were short-term (4-8 weeks), high-overtime (60-70 hours a week) projects.
The Boomers loved the overtime, but hated to pay taxes. So they came up with a scheme. Suddenly, our payroll department noticed something unusual about the W-4’s many of the Boomers were filling out at time of hire. As you know for most people the normal number of tax exemptions is 2, 3, 4 or so depending on family size. The higher the number of exemptions, the less tax is withheld from the weekly paycheck. These Boomers were filing W-4’s with 99 exemptions, which had the effect of eliminating any tax withholding from their paycheck.
Needless to say, the IRS took exception to this practice and required these workers to justify their claim of exemption from withholding taxes.
The Boomers were ready for the IRS. Each promptly produced a letter/certificate from a so-called School of Theology in Illinois which declared the Boomer to be an ordained minister. The Boomer’s letter was on stationary from the Church of This or the Church of That in Illinois, professing that he/she was the pastor of that church and that all labor was rendered in the name of God and all earnings belonged to the Church and were therefore tax exempt.
Well, the IRS didn’t buy that either and the scheme was squashed.
The Boomers were not unlike the Pharisees. They wanted to use God to deny Caesar what is Caesars. The boomers were just greedy. The Pharisees were greedy too, but mostly wanted to trap Jesus. BIG MISTAKE!! Jesus set them all straight and sets us straight by commanding us to “Give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s”. We, like Jesus, are not OF this world, but we are IN this world. Thus we are called be both good citizens and good Christians.
A joke on the management of cows has been circulating for many years under the subject “World Economics,?“World Politics,?or “World Ideologies?
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both, milks them, keeps the milk, and gives you a pint.
Socialism: The government takes one of your cows and gives it to a neighbor.
Fascism: The government takes both your cows and shoots one of them.
Nazism: The government takes both cows and shoots you.
Capitalism: You milk booth cows, sell one of the cows, and buy a bull.
Bureaucracy: The government takes both cows, milks them, and pours the milk down the drain.
A more original saying on the mockery of law in USA, Germany, Russia and France is stated this way:
In the US, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
I remember once when I was a young man in the Navy our carrier anchored off of Marcelle France and so I took the opportunity to travel around the city with a Christian friend. At one point in our journey we stopped off at a streetside food stand to get a bite
of lunch. Their specialty was a hamburger submarine sandwitch. Boy did that look good, so I ordered one. As the hamburgers were cooking the woman asked me if I wanted some of their special sauce. Now she spoke French and I didn’t so this was all done through
hand signals. I waved back a yes, but she seemed uncomfortable with my decision and signalled back with a “do you really want to do this?” Confident in my youthful maturity I once again waved back my affirmation. Now in America since the customer is always right I would have gotten that special sauce, but I guess in France they have never bought into that motto. So instead she offered me a sample on a spoon. So I dipped my finger into the sauce and placed it on the tip of my tongue. Liquid fire, my tongue began to burn so badly that I began to spin around and flap my hands trying to put out the heat. The woman immediately handed me a glass of water and I gulped it down in desperation. While at the same time, both my friend and a complete stranger, stood there laughing
their heads off.
A couple of opposing candidates for county office were sitting near each other in the local diner... One turned to the other and said, "You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my ’personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."
"Oh, is that so?" replied the other. "I always tip them a nicke...
"A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for d...