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Donnie Martin
Psalms 53:1-53:3
Psalms 53:1-53:4
1 Peter 4:10-4:10
John 6:1-6:21
John 6:1-6:9
James 3:13-4:8
John 8:31-8:38
Luke 10:25-10:37
Proverbs 3:1-3:8
Matthew 6:1-7:1
1 Peter 4:1-4:11
Luke 4:21-4:30
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DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PRAY
I heard a story of a ship that was sinking in the middle of a storm, and the captain called out to the crew and said, "Does anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward and said, "Yes sir, I know how to pray."
The captain said, "Wonderful, you pray while the rest of us put on life jackets--we're one short."
Author unknown. Taken from pastorlife.com.
MELVIN NEWLAND
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Tony Campolo says that his wife is a brilliant woman. She has a PHD & is capable of pursuing a very profitable career. But she elected to stay home with her children when they were young. Her decision didn’t bother her at all except when other women would ask, “What do you do?” She would answer, “I’m a homemaker. I stay home & take care of my children & my husband.” They would usually respond with “Oh” & then ignore her from then on.
So Mrs. Campolo came up with this response when she was asked what she did: “I’m socializing two Homo-sapiens in Judeo-Christian values so they’ll appropriate the eschatological values of utopia. What do you do?” They would often blurt out “I’m a doctor” or “I’m a lawyer” & then wander off with a dazed look in their eyes.
I love the story about the mom & dad with a son who was a freshman in college. He blew off his freshman year. He wasn’t very responsible, didn’t make good grades, squandered his money, & finally came back home. His parents told him, “If you go back to school you’ll have to pay your own way.”
So he had to work that summer & not go on the family vacation. That was part of his punishment. The family went to Greece that year & the mom sent him a postcard, “Dear Son,” she wrote. “Today we stood on the mountains where ancient Spartan women sacrificed their defective children. Wish you were here.”
The Butterball Turkey company set up a hotline to answer consumer questions about preparing holiday turkeys. One woman called to inquire about cooking a turkey that had been in her freezer for 23 years.
The operator told her it might be safe if the freezer had been kept below 0 degrees the entire time. But the operator warned the woman that, even if it were safe, the flavor had probably deteriorated, and she wouldn’t recommend eating it...
In Leadership magazine, Dave Wilkinson writes the following to pastors…
Have you ever wondered why your pastoral resume doesn’t evoke more enthusiasm? Do you ever think, "What are these people looking for?"
Perhaps the question should be, "What aren’t they looking for?" because with the numbers of applications pastor nominating committees receive, their first task is to eliminate applicants.
Here, then, as a public service, are statements certain to stop a resume dead in its tracks.
· "I believe empathy is overrated."
· "In the five churches I have faithfully served over the past two years ..."
· "My hobbies are pit bulls and automatic weapons."
· "I am willing to sacrifice my family for the sake of the ministry. I am also willing to sacrifice yours."
· "I have learned to cope with financial crisis at every church I’ve served."
· "I require an attractive secretary and/or organist."
· "My extensive counseling of church members has proved a rich source of pointed sermon illustrations."
· "Amway taught me everything I know about evangelism."
· "I’ve been told that every sermon I preach is better than the next."
· "My personality has provided me ample opportunity to develop conflict-resolution skills."
[Resume Stoppers, Citation: Dave Wilkinson, Leadership, Vol. 12, no. 1.]
Actually my wife Laurel found something at Hastings the other day that might be able to help us out: "Its called "Wash Away Your Sins - Soul Saver Pack"... "For liars, cheaters, and wrong-doers."
"It says its Bishop tested" and "Cardinal approved". Its contents are two bottles and an instruction book:
One bottle: "Holy Water" are for those little sins: "1) Remove cap - 2) Pour into palm - 3) Admit wrong doing - 4) Think pure thoughts - 5) Anoint forehead and - 6) Go fourth purged from sin, ready to do it again."
The second bottle: "Bubble bath" are for those more major sins: "1) Kneel before thy tub - 2) Reflect upon wrong doing - 3) Run warm bath water - 4) Pour in enough bubble bath to equal your sins "(I would need a 55 gal. drum)" - 5) Soak in blessed bubble - 6) Arise cleansed from sin, and ready to do it again." The instruction book adds "that you should soak 3 minutes for each deadly sin committed." Though you are to soak "15 minutes per each large deadly sin committed". Now if you commit an "extra large mortal sin", "which includes lying to your mother" then you must "add two capsuls of holy water", "soak for twenty minutes" and when exiting the bath "annoint your forehead with the blessed holy water".
Now if this were reality, we would at least know the sinners, because they would be the ones walking around with their skin all shrieveld up. And we would be going "Hah, lied to your mother again didn’t you?" And if this were the method by how you got clean from your sin, it would be really no different then the ancient practice of animal sacrifice. I mean, some of us would be living out by the barn. "What’s Joe-bob doing out by the barn". "Well slaughtering some more pigeons, and another calf. He sinned again".
I’m Not Growing Old
They say that I am growing old
I’ve heard them say it times untold
In language plain and bold
But I’m not growing old
This frail old shell in which I dwell
Is growing old I know full well
But I’m not growing old.
What if my hair has turned gray
Gray hair is honorable, they say
What if my eye sight’s growing dim
I can still see to follow Him
Who sacrificed His life for me
There on the cross of Calvary
Why should I care if time’s old plow
Has dug some furrows in my brow.
Another house not made with hand
Awaits me in the glory land.
My hearing may not be as keen
As in the past, it may have been
Still I can hear my Savior say
Come faltering child, this is the way.
The outward man, do what I can
To lengthen out this life’s short span
Shall perish and return to dust
As everything in nature must.
But the inward man the Scriptures say
Ah, the inward man
Is growing stronger every day.
Then how can I be growing old?
I’m safe within the Saviour’s fold
‘Er long my soul shall fly away
And leave this tenement of clay
This robe of flesh I’ll drop and rise
To seize the everlasting prize
I’ll meet you on the streets of gold
And prove that I’m not growing old.
- John E. Roberts
I am reminded of the guy who shows up at heaven’s gates. Peter asks him, “Did you do anything self-sacrificing or noteworthy to show that you loved God and loved others.”
“Well,” he replied, “There was one thing. I saw an old lady that was being taunted and ridiculed and physically abused by a group of gangbangers. So, without thinking, I ran up to them and yelled, ‘Have you no shame? Leave her alone.’ Then I went right up to the largest guy who looked like Goliath with arms the size of trees and tattoos decorating his entire body and told him that they ha...
Wrong Righteousness
Quote: "If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else." - Yogi Berra
Text: Romans 10:1-4
Prop: a new US $20 bill (or adapt for local currency)
Summary: Some people try to get to heaven on their own by being a good person. The only righteousness that is real is what the Lord Jesus gives us.
Look at this new $20 bill (US currency). We pay for things with money. The color of money used to be green, but this has some red and blue in it now. The moneymakers put some things in this bill so you would know it was genuine. [Show each security feature.] One is this magnetic strip, another is the watermark of the person’s face, and another is this two-tone ink on the number twenty. It is green at this angle, and gold at another angle. If you present this as payment, anyone who receives it can tell it is real. Some people try to cheat and make fake money. The money they make on their own is called a counterfeit. That reminds me of something the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans.
[Read Romans 10:1-4]
Paul wanted his own people, the Israelites, to be saved from their sins. He said they were eager to please God but they did not understand what God wanted. The Israelites thought if they kept following all of God’s laws and commands that it would be enough to please God. They thought if they were good and did nice things that would be all that was necessary to get to heaven. That was the wrong kind of righteousness. It was a fake. The only righteousness that is real is what the Lord Jesus gives us. Paul made it clear that we need God’s righteousness. That means we must be willing to accept God’s goodness, not try to be good on our own.
How can we do that? We can accept what Jesus did for us on the cross. Jesus completed the work of the law there. That is the real, genuine thing that God accepts. Jesus died as a sacrifice for all the bad things we have done. As an old hymn says, Jesus paid it all! We gave God our sin, and God gave us forgiveness and His goodness. That does not seem like a fair trade, but God loves us so much he was willing to do that.
[Read John 3:16] Whosoever includes you. Whosoever includes me. God is so good to us. God wants us to be good, but He does not want us to try to get to heaven by trusting our own goodness to save us. He has provided the way: His Son Jesus.
Let us pray. Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for paying the price for my sins. Amen.
Chicken and hog walking down the road.Saw a church sign, "Brotherhood meeting-ham and eggs." Chicken said to the hog, "We ought to drop in and make a contribution. The hog replied,"to you it would be a contribution but to me it would be a sacrifice.".
