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Illustration results for resentment

Contributed By:
Don Hawks
 
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BE LIKE THE SPIDER

There was a man who was cleaning up his desk one Friday afternoon when he noticed an envelope that had been opened. Someone must have placed it there while he was on the phone. He opened it and read it, and to his shock and dismay it was a notice of being terminated, being laid-off from his job. His entire department was being eliminated along with his position. After all the years he had given to his corporation, he found himself filled with resentment and the sense of being victimized. The man sat slumped in his chair in utter despair.

He began to think of all the terrible things that were going to happen to him. His entire lifestyle would have to be altered. He thought, "I'll have to sell my house; I'm too old to get another job; I'm useless; I'm all washed up."

At that moment, the man noticed a spider on his desk, and without thinking he brushed it off. He was amazed though as he watched as the tiny creature automatically spin a strand to bear its weight and swing gracefully to the floor.

He pondered: If this tiny creature could draw forth from within itself some reserve of resources to meet its emergency, why could he not do as much? For many hours, he sat deep in troubling thoughts that turned gradually to creative mediation.

The man moved from the anxiety of what he lacked to the abundance of the God-given inner resources he had been blessed with. He thought: "My security is not in my job or in my money or in my house but in my connection with the God of grace who has seen me through all circumstances in my life. They might take me off the payroll, but no one can take away the flow of God's abundance in my life."

This man had secretly been longing for an opportunity to tap into his creative ability and interest in writing. Now here was the opportunity before him. A whole new way of thinking possessed him. He thanked God for the new door that had opened before him and even blessed his termination from his job. He left the office with an enthusiasm and zest for life that surprised even himself.

To make a long story short, the man had some writings published and earned some money. Now he didn't become a financial giant but more importantly he had a new found faith in the abundance of God and became less anxious about what he lacked in his life.

Source: Adapted from a story told by Eric Butterworth

 
Contributed By:
Paul Fritz
 
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Criticism is always difficult to accept, but if we receive it with humility and a desire to improve our character it can be very helpful. Only a fool does not profit when he is rebuked for his mistakes.

Several years ago I read a helpful article on this subject. It stated that when we are criticized we ought to ask ourselves whether the criticism contains any truth. If it does, we should learn form it, even when it is not given with the right motivation and in the right spirit. The article then offered these four suggestions: (1) Commit the matter instantly to God, asking Him to remove all resentment or countercriticism on your part and teach you the needed lessons. (2) Remember that we are all great sinners and that the one who has criticized us does not begin to know the worst about us. (3) If you have made a mistake or committed a sin, humbly and frankly confess it to God and to anyone you may have injured. (4) Be willing to learn afresh that you are not infallible and that you need God’s grace and wisdom every moment of the day to keep on the straight path.

When we are criticized, let’s accept what is true and act upon it, thereby becoming a stronger person. He who profits from rebuke is wise. H.G.B.

 
Contributed By:
Bobby Stults
 
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Forgiveness is not about making the other person right in what they did… forgiveness is about 2 things, first it is obedience to your calling as a Child of God, and 2nd it is an instrument that frees you from the bondage of resentment and revenge. Matt 18:21-35

Bobby Stults (Aug 2007)

 
Contributed By:
Mark Hensley
 
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Duke University did a study on “peace of mind.” Factors found to contribute greatly to emotional and mental stability are:

1. The absence of suspicion and resentment. Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.

2. Not living in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression.

3. Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change. Cooperate with life, instead of trying to run away from it.

4. Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress.

5. Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune.

6. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues—love, humor, compassion and loyalty

7. Do not expect too much of yourself...

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In his book, None of These Diseases, Dr. S.I. McMillen says, "Medical science recognizes that emotions such as fear, sorrow, envy, resentment and hatred are responsible for the majority of our sicknesses. Estimates vary from 60 to 100 percents."

One patient was told by his doctor, "If you don’t cut out your resentments, I may have to cut out your intestinal tract."

 
Contributed By:
Timothy Smith
 
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I think one of the area we need to work on the most is expressing that love to our kids. I believe that most Dad’s love their children but for some reason it seems to be hard for us to express it. David had that problem. After Absolom murdered Amnon he fled the country and lived in exile for 3 years. David was mad about the murder to be sure but the Bible says that David still loved Absalom. In fact it says in 2 Sam. 13:39, "David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom." (LB) But as much as he wanted Absalom to come back he never told him that. He never sent word saying, "Your forgiven, I understand your anger, I’ve done horrible things too. Come back, let’s make a fresh start." He just left him in exile. Finally, some of David’s advisors convinced David to let him come back to the city. And David said, "He may go to his own quarters,” the king ordered, “but he must never come here. I refuse to see him." Pride- for 2 years Absolom lived in the city and everyone grew to love Absolom but David wouldn’t see him. Finally, after 5 years David said, "Okay, I’ll see him." But by that time the resentment was so deep that Absolom revolted against his Dad and tried to take the throne away from him. Absolom and David’s forces fought against each other and finally there is a concluding battle in the woods of Ephraim and as Absolom is trying to escape, his long hair catches in an Oak tree and he can’t get free himself. And Joab David’s captain finds the young man and takes three javelin’s and plunges them into Absolom’s heart. And one of the most pitiful scenes in the Bible is played out in 2 Sam. 18. David waits news for the battle but each time a messenger comes he cares not about how the battle is progressing but he keeps asking, "Is the young man Absolom safe?" Finally, a runner tells him that his son is dead. And the Bible says in one of the saddest verses: “The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to his room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, ‘O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I could have died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”(NLT) How tragic. But now it’s too late. If you love your child, express it. Tell them. Touch them with a hug or embrace.

 
Contributed By:
Mark Brunner
 
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“Staring Down the Critic’s Barrel!” Proverbs 9: 7-10 Key verse(s): 8b:“. . . rebuke a wise man and he will love you.”

The Bible tells us that “rebuke a wise man and he will love you.” Love? What happened to getting the emotional revenge that is so satisfying? There doesn’t seem to be a lot of room in that statement for pride, is there? In fact, being made to look the dummy seems like an invitation to wisdom. That’s something that doesn’t square real well with the world or our own self-esteem. It almost sounds like it would be better to be meek and withdrawing when others criticize us. In fact, if you are one of those people who are not “quick on the trigger” when others start shooting criticism your way, are you blessed? Perhaps. While it is never good to respond to anyone when we don’t have full command of our senses, it doesn’t mean that we should empty ourselves out completely and allow that criticism to fill us up to overflowing. There is a process of assimilation that can help.

Several years ago I read a helpful article on the subject of receiving and benefitting from criticism. If you can keep this process in mind even when bitter criticism is being leveled at you, you may find it easier to bear up and certainly less recriminating when you consider the criticism down the road. It stated that when we are criticized we ought to ask ourselves whether the criticism contains any truth. If it does, we should learn from it, even when it is not given with the right motivation and in the right spirit. The article then offered these four suggestions: (1) Commit the matter instantly to God, asking Him to remove all resentment or counter-criticism on your part and teach you the needed lessons. (2) Remember that we are all great sinners and that the one who has criticized us does not begin to know the worst about us. (3) If you have made a mistake or committed a sin, humbly and frankly confess it to God and to anyone you may have injured. (4) Be willing to learn afresh that you are not infallible and that you need God’s grace and wisdom every moment of the day to keep on the straight path.

When we are criticized, it’s good to accept what is true and act upon it, thereby becoming a stronger person. And, as the proverb says, “instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still.” Isn’t that every Christian’s goal? Give me more of that wisdom and if criticism is one of the best ways of getting more of it, “bring it on!” I remember a worship dialog from Don Moen’s “God With Us!” that has stuck with me over the years. “Your strength is made strong in our weakness.” When you think of it, there is no weaker state than that of receiving criticism. Is there ever a time when we need to rely on our God more? Being on the receiving end of criticism opens us completely to the devil’s wiles. It is an open door to sin just waiting for the evil to enter. What better time to invite the Holy Spirit in than when we are vulnerable to criticism. The key to being receptive to other people’s criticism is who we are willing to invite in at the first moment when the words begin to sting. We can choose to “commit the matter” to God or “commit” it to Satan. The choice is ours. When staring down the critic’s barrel expect the infusion of the Spirit not the bullet of sin and you may find that the criticism doesn’t sting so much after all.

 
Contributed By:
Troy Borst
 
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INTRODUCTION... A Duke University Study
A group at Duke University did a study on “peace of mind.” Factors found to contribute
greatly to emotional and mental stability are:
1. The absence of suspicion and resentment. Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.
2. Not living in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression.
3. Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change. Cooperate with life, instead of trying to run away from it.
4. Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress.
5. Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune.
6. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues—love, humor, compassion and loyalty
7. Do not expe...

Continue reading with a Free PRO Subscription...

 
Contributed By:
Randy Aly
 
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When a believer considers how much God has forgiven him, he is able to extend pardon to others no matter what they have done. A Christian husband found this to be true when his wife, who had become an alcoholic, told him of an affair she had had with his best friend 10 years earlier. She said she experienced such feelings of guilt that the bottle was a means of escape. Anger and resentment began to sweep over him, for his wife’s drinking had embittered their children and nearly destroyed their home. He was also deeply hurt by the fact that his close friend had betrayed his trust. Then he remembered Jesus’ words, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." As he thought of God’s mercy toward him, he prayed for grace to do the Christlike thing. Here is his description of what happened the next time he met the man who had caused him such heartache: "With a sob in my soul, I reached out my hand and gripped his, and for the first time in my life I knew what it was to forgive. I felt a tremendous sense of release as the unbearable weight of bitterness was lifted from my heart. This freedom enabled me to renew my love for my wife, and to overcome the barrier that had arisen between us. When I said to her, ’I forgive you and will accept you just as I did when I pledged to love and cherish you unto death,’ the healing process began its wonderful work."

 
Contributed By:
John Gullick
 
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Brother Andrew tells of being in hospital full of resentment and hatred during the Indonesian war in 1946. Whilst in hospital a bible had been delivered to him.
One day - he writes - I asked the nun who came to bathe me how it was that she and the other sisters were always so cheerful.
"Why, Andrew, you ought to know the answer to that - a good dutch boy like you. It’s the love of christ." When she said it, her eyes sparkled, and I knew without question that for her this was the whole answer, she could have talked all afternoon and said no more."
"But you are teasing me." she said, tapping the well worn little bible where it still lay on the bedside table, "You’ve got the answer right here."

 
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