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Contributed By:
Mark Hensley
 
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John Bisagno former Pastor of Houston’s First Baptist Church tells the story of his coming there to candidate for the position of pastor many years ago. He said that as he entered the auditorium it was dimly lit, with just a few people huddled together. They were singing some old slow funeral type song that was depressing.

Later that day he took a walk in downtown Houston and came upon a jewelry store. It was some sort of grand opening and there were bright lights and a greeter at the door to welcome you in with a smile. Inside there was a celebration going on. There were refreshments and people having a good time talking and laughing with each other. They welcomed him and offered him some punch. He said that after attending both the church and the jewelry store, if the jewelry store had offered an invitation, he would have joined the jewelry store!

 
Contributed By:
A. Todd Coget
 
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A minister gave an unusual sermon one day, using a peanut to make several important points about the wisdom of God in nature.
One of the members greeted him at the door and said, "Very interesting, Pastor. I never expected to learn so much from a nut."

 
Contributed By:
Jim Kane
 
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Have you heard about the little boy who attended church for the first time and was asked how it went? He replied, "The music was nice but the commercial was too long."

 
Contributed By:
Dean Kennedy
 
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Why Go To Church

A Churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I’ve gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So, I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do kn...

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Contributed By:
Mark Hensley
 
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Too many people come to Church three times primarily. They're Baptized, they get married, and they have their funeral service at the Church.The first time they throw water on you, the second time rice
the third time dirt!

 
Contributed By:
A. Todd Coget
 
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[Clothes Make a Church]
A Methodist church tried to get a man to attend, but he never did.
"Why don’t you come?" the minister asked, and the man finally admitted it was because he didn’t have proper clothes.
So a member of the congregation took him to a clothing store and got him a nice suit, shirt, tie, and shoes.
But on the following Sunday, he still did not show up.
So the minister visited him again and asked him why he didn’t come.
"When I got dressed up in my new suit," the man explained, "I looked so good I decided to go to the Episcopal church."

 
Contributed By:
Rick Garcia
 
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A certain congregation was about to erect a new church edifice. The building committee, in consecutive meetings passed the following resolutions:
1. We shall build a new church
2. The new building is to be located on the site of the old one.
3. The material in the old building is to be used in the new one.
4. We shall continue to use the old building until the new one is completed.

 
Contributed By:
Tony S. Searles
 
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10% of church members cannot be found?
20% of church members never attend church
25% admit that they never pray
35% admit that they do not read their Bibles
40% admit that they never contribute to the church?tithe or offering
60% never give to missions
70% never assume responsibility within the church
85% never invite anyone to church
95 % have never won anyone...

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Contributed By:
Michael Stover
 
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William Barclay writes:
It’s possible to be a follower of Jesus without being a disciple; to be a camp-follower without being a soldier of the king; to be a hanger-on in some great work without pulling one’s weight. Once someone was talking to a great scholar about a younger man. He said, "So and so tells me that he was one of your students." The teacher answered devastatingly, "He may have attended my lectures, but he was not one of my students." There is a world of difference between attending lectures and being a student. It is one of the supreme handicaps of the Church that in the Church there are so many distant followers of Jesus and so few real disciples.

 
Contributed By:
Bill Prater
 
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The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between rails) is four feet, eight-and-one-half inches.

Why such an odd number? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and American railroads were built by British expatriates.

Why did the English adopt that particular gauge? Because the people who built the pre-railroad tramways used that gauge.

They in turn were locked into that gauge because the people who built tramways used the same standards and tools they had used for building wagons, which were set on a gauge of four feet, eight-and-one-half inches.

Why were wagons built to that scale? Because with any other size, the wheels did not match the old wheel ruts on the roads.

So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long-distance highways in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been in use ever since. The ruts were first made by Roman war chariots. Four feet, eight-and-one-half inches was the width a chariot needed to be to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.

Maybe "that’s the way it’s always been" isn’t the great excuse for not changing that some people believe it to be.

 
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