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Contributed By:
Mark Hiehle
 
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Everyone put your hand out. Imagine with me that you have a lemon in your hand. Feel how cold it is since you just took it out of the refrigerator. Feel the two knobs on the ends? Ok, now take a knife and cut the lemon in half. Careful! Don’t cut yourself. Oh, look at the juice run down over the sides. Now, put one half down and just hold the other half of the lemon. Now, look at the inside of the cut lemon. Lean down and smell the lemon. Get a good full sense of the lemon fresh scent of the just cut lemon. Ok, now squeeze the lemon. See the juice ooze up and cover the surface of the cut lemon? Now - lick the lemon. That’s right! Lick the lemon. Ok, who feels like you have more saliva than you did a minute a go? How can that be? It was only pretend! The reason is because your body reacts to that which your mind thinks about.

 
Contributed By:
Richard Jones
 
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An old American Indian tale recounts the story of a chief who was telling a gathering of young braves about the struggle within. "It is like two dogs fighting inside of us," the chief told them. "There is one good dog who wants to do the right and the other dog always wants to do the wrong. Sometimes the good dog seems stronger and is winning the fight. But sometimes the bad dog is stronger and wrong is winning the fight."

"Who is going to win in the end?" a young brave asks.
The chief answered "The one you feed."

 
Contributed By:
Bruce Howell
 
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Illus.: “Falling Out of Bed”

A little boy constantly fell out of bed. No matter what his parents did, the boy couldn’t sleep without rolling out of bed. An uncle came to visit and in the middle of the night the usual thump and cry was heard. In the morning the uncle teased the boy and asked him why he fell out so often. The little fellow thought for a moment and then said, “I don’t know, unless its because I stay too close to the place where I get in.”

 
Contributed By:
Dru Ashwell
 
Scripture:
 

JUDGE NOT . . .

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand in a trial -- a grand-motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains
to realize you will never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And
he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy,
bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a norma...

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Contributed By:
David  Yarbrough
 
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Despite the "Do Not Touch" signs, a museum was having no success in keeping patrons from touching--and soiling--priceless furniture and art. But the problem evaporated overnight when a clever museum employee replaced the signs with ones that read: "Caution: Wash Hands After Touching!"
Today in the Word, March, 1990.

 
Contributed By:
Paul Fritz
 
Topic: Faith, Holiness
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"Holiness does not consist in mystic speculations, enthusiastic fervours, or uncommanded austerities; it consists in thinking as God thinks, and willing as God wills."

John Brown, Nineteenth-century Scottish theologian, quoted in J. Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness, p. 51.

 
Contributed By:
John Walls
 
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A young man wrote this to his girlfriend. “Sweetheart, if this world was as hot as the Sahara desert, I would crawl on my knees through the burning sand to come to you. If the world would be like the Atlantic Ocean, I would swim through shark infested waters to come to you. I would fight the most fiercest dragon to be by your side. I will see you on Thursday if it does not rain.”

 
Contributed By:
MELVIN NEWLAND
 
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A man flew into Chicago & hired a taxi to take him downtown. As he was riding along they came to a red light & the driver went right on through the red light.

The man said, "Hey, the light was red. You’re supposed to stop." The driver said, "Yeah, I know, but my brother does it all the time."

Soon they came to a second red light & again he went right straight through. The passenger said, "You’re going to get us killed. That light was red. Why didn’t you stop?"

The driver said, "Don’t worry about it. My brother does it all the time."

Then they came to a green light & he stopped. The man said, "The light is green. Now is the time to go. Why don’t you go on through?"

The driver answered, "I know it’s g...

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Contributed By:
Greg Warren
 
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A father’s two daughters were begging him for permission to see the latest movie, which happened to be rated "R," with their friends. When he denied their request, their pleading only intensified. "It’s only rated R because it has just a little bad language and just a few scenes that are bad," they reasoned.
Later that night, the father baked some brownies for his daughters. They dug in and commented on how much they enjoyed them. "You like them, huh?" he responded. "Oh yes. They’re great," answered his daughters. "That’s interesting because I used a new recipe," he said, matter of factly.
"Oh yeah? What is it?" they asked.
"Well, I’ve always heard that, if you add a little dash of dog droppings to the brownies that it gives them a distinct taste that people love," he answered, straight-faced.
The daughters immediately stopped chewing and their faces transformed from enthusiastic smiles to panicked looks of confusion. "You’re kidding!" cried one as she spat her brownie out on her plate. "What in the world are you thinking?" complained the other.
The father explained that he would never serve such a dish because even just a small amount of some things is completely unacceptable. He went on to explain that God views sin in much the same way. It doesn’t matter how little it is, it still is so distasteful that God cannot look upon it.
The girls agreed with their father that rated "R" movies were not for them.

 
Contributed By:
David DeWitt
 
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It is not what men eat, but what they digest that makes them strong
Not what we gain, but what we save that makes us rich
Not what we read, but what we remember that makes us learned
Not what we preach or pray, but what we practice and believe that makes us Christians – Francis Bacon

 
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