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THANKLESS JOB
I read about a stay-at-home mom who went to a PTA meeting one night. While she was gone, her husband and oldest daughter decided they would clean the kitchen for mom and surprise her when she got home.
Well, they washed all the dishes, put away the pots and pans, cleaned the stove and countertops -- the kitchen was spotless...
Later than night, mom came home from the meeting... she walked in the kitchen and fixed herself something to drink and then went into the den to watch TV with her family... but she never said a word about the kitchen being cleaned...
Finally, her husband said, "Honey, did you notice the clean kitchen?"
"I did," she said
"Well, you're not going to say thank you or anything?"
She said, "Why should I? It's a thankless job, isn't it?"
Eight-year-old wrote a card to her mother and said, "DEAR MOTHER, HERE ARE 2 ASPIRINS. HAVE A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY."
A MOTHER'S MARRED HANDS
There was a teenager who didn’t want to be seen in public with her mother, because her mother’s arms were terribly disfigured. One day when her mother took her shopping and reached out her hand, a clerk looked horrified. Later, crying, the girl told her how embarrassed she was.
Understandably hurt, the mother waited an hour before going to her daughter’s room to tell her, for the first time, what happened.
"When you were a baby, I woke up to a burning house. Your room was an inferno. Flames were everywhere. I could have gotten out the front door, but I decided I’d rather die with you than leave you to die alone. I ran through the fire and wrapped my arms around you. Then I went back through the flames, my arms on fire. When I got outside on the lawn, the pain was agonizing but when I looked at you, all I could do was rejoice that the flames hadn’t touched you."
Stunned, the girl looked at her mother through new eyes. Weeping in shame and gratitude, she kissed her mother’s marred hands and arms.
(Source: Randy Alcorn. From a sermon by Billy Ricks, Suffering, 2/27/2011)
WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing, and I’ll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."...
A boy got his first job. As he was boasting about the amount of work he did, he said, "I get up at 5 a.m. and have my breakfast." He was asked, "Does anyone else get up too?" He replied, "Oh yes, mother gets up and fixes my breakfast and then fixes dad’s breakfast."
"And what about your dinner?" The boy said, "Oh, mother, fixes that too."
"Does your mother have the afternoon to herself?" The boy replied, "No, mama cleans the house, looks after the other children, and then gets supper for me and dad when we come home. Then we watch TV before we go to bed."
"What about your mother? What does she do?" The boy replied, "Mama washes some clothes and irons the rest of the evening."
"Do you get paid?" "Of course, Dad and I get paid."
"And what about your mother, does she get paid too?"
The boy replied, "MOTHER, GET PAID?! MOTHER DON’T GET PAID. SHE DON’T DO NO WORK."
REST IN PEACE
Six-year-old and his four-year-old sister presented their mom with a Mother’s Day present: a small, spindly house plant. While it wasn’t the finest looking specimen, they had bought it with their own money and Mom was thrilled. She hugged and kissed her children and told them she
loved them for thinking of her.
Johnny said, "There was some other flowers we wanted to buy for you, Mom, but we didn’t have enough money."
"Yeah," said sister Suzy, "they had a real nice bunch of flowers at the shop that we were going to buy."
"But I love this plant," said the happy mother.
"I know, Mom," said Johnny, "but these flowers would have been perfect for you. They were in a wreath and they had a ribbon that said ’REST IN PEACE’ on it AND YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKING FOR A LITTLE PEACE SO YOU CAN REST."
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" she asks. Her mother replies, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thinks about this awhile, then asks, "So how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?"
THE EVOLUTION OF MOTHERS
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having the first.
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor
confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing
religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last
time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th
month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them,
and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes
are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:...
Rob Culler
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One day Adam and his boys were out for a walk and happened upon the Garden of Eden. One of the boys said, “Dad, what is that place?” Adam responded, “Guys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”
MELVIN NEWLAND
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Tony Campolo says that his wife is a brilliant woman. She has a PHD & is capable of pursuing a very profitable career. But she elected to stay home with her children when they were young. Her decision didn’t bother her at all except when other women would ask, “What do you do?” She would answer, “I’m a homemaker. I stay home & take care of my children & my husband.” They would usually respond with “Oh” & then ignore her from then on.
So Mrs. Campolo came up with this response when she was asked what she did: “I’m socializing two Homo-sapiens in Judeo-Christian values so they’ll appropriate the eschatological values of utopia. What do you do?” They would often blurt out “I’m a doctor” or “I’m a lawyer” & then wander off with a dazed look in their eyes.
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