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We can get ourselves in Trouble Fast
A burglar broke into a house one day. As he was stealing the valuables he heard a voice out of the darkness that said, "Jesus is watching you". He almost choked. He stoped and looked around and then he shook of his fear and went on stealing some more. Suddenly just as before the voice cam and said Jesus is watching you. He was trembling so bad he could hardly contain any composure. He finally approached the corner and there was a bird cage with the cover over it. The words came from the CAge, Jesus is watching you. The thief pulled off the cover and saw the parrot. He said with an angry voice, what is your name? The parrot replied, MOses. The thief replied, what kind of wierd person would name a parrot Moses? The parrot replied the same kind of wierd person that would name a Rocwieller "Jesus".
We can get ourselves in serious trouble by not paying attention.
I have a very good friend who recently shared with me that on one occasion she, out of sincere concern over sin and desire to be what God wanted her to be, she prayed, "God, show me the sin in my life. Show me what I really am."
She said that in a couple of weeks she began to pray, "Lord, I’ve seen enough! Please, Lord, don’t show me any more. I can’t stand myself!"
As difficult as it may be - this is exactly what we need to do today. If we are to have revival, if we are to remedy the problem of our unholy affections, we must pray such a prayer as she.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Think how many temptations you and I face in an ordinary day. Staying in bed late - the temptation to laziness. Growling at the breakfast table - the temptation to unkindness. Arguing over who should change the baby this time - the temptation to selfishness. Starting work 10 minutes late - the temptation to slothfulness. Losing your temper when a co-worker crashes your computer - the temptation to impatience. Flirting with that good-looking woman, taking a second look at the good-looking man - the temptation to lust. Refusing to speak to a person who has hurt you - the temptation to malice. Repeating a juicy story of your neighbor’s misfortune - the temptation to gossip. Lying awake at night thinking sensual thoughts - the temptation to impurity. Taking your anger out on the children after a hard day - the temptation to cruelty. Going out the eat when you can’t afford it - the temptation to self-indulgence. Having a second helping and then a third - the temptation to gluttony. Firing off a hasty letter to a friend who hurt you - the temptation to revenge.
The following incident won the runner-up prize in the 1999 Darwin Awards:
A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position. While touring the Eagle’s Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Mr. Demuth went overboard to show them one of America’s many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"... the hard way.
Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, so he covered the palms of his hands with the adhesive, and jokingly placed them on the rear end of a passing rhino. The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby.
However, once it became aware of its being involuntarily stuck to Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly making Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.
"Sally [the rhino] hasn’t been feeling well lately. She had been very constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels, when Mr. Demuth played his juvenile prank," said James Douglass, caretaker. During Sally’s tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death.
As for Demuth, it took a team of medics and zoo caretakers’ to remove his hands from her buttocks. First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this process the laxatives began to take hold and Mr. Demuth was repeatedly showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea.
"It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung. I guess you could say that Mr. Demuth was into it up to his neck. Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth. We were able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass. "I ...
Illus.: Four Preachers Confess
Four preachers met for a friendly gathering. During the conversation one preacher said, “Our people come to us and pour out their hears, confess certain sins and needs. Let’s do the same. Confession is good for the soul.” In due time all agree. One of them said that he had a problem with losing his temper on occasion. The second confessed to liking to smoke cigars and the third one confessed to liking golf so much that he would fake being sick so he could play on weekends.. When it came to the fourth one, he wouldn’t confess. The others pressed him saying, “Come now, we confessed ours. What is your secret or vice?” Finally he answered, “It is gossiping and I can hardly wait to get out of here.”
The story is told about a professional football player who didn’t like to obey curfew, & many nights he sneaked out. He would take blankets & pillows & put them under the covers of his bed, so that when the coach checked his room, it would look like he was sound asleep like all the others.
Well, in one city they stayed in a hotel where there weren’t enough extra blankets & pillows. So he improvised by taking the lamp from the nightstand by the bed & putting it underneath the covers.
It looked just fine. But when the coach came by for the bed check & turned on the light switch, the bed lit up. "Be sure your sins will find you out."
In the fifties the major discipline problems in our public schools were cigarette smoking,skipping class, running in the halls, spit balls, chewing gum, and whispering in class.
Today - the major problems are deadly weapons - kids carrying guns, knifes, and even assault weapons. This is followed by arson, drugs, vandalism, and drunkenness.
Recently in Florida a high school teacher observed a number of boys in the corner of the gymnasium on their hands and knees. Rushing up to the boys, the teacher demanded, " What are you doing?"
One of the boys looked up and answered, " We’re shooting dice!"
The teacher responded with, " Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were praying."
The scene was San Diego Superior Court. Two men were on trial for armed robbery. An eyewitness took the stand, and the prosecutor moved carefully:
“So, you say you were at the scene when the robbery took place?”
“And you saw a vehicle leave at a high rate of speed?”
“And did you observe the occupants?”
“Yes, two men.”
“And,” the prosecutor boomed, “are those two men present in court today?” ...
1,000 unwed teenage girls become mothers
1,106 teenage girls get abortions
4,219 teenagers contract sexually transmitted diseases
500 adolescents begin using drugs
1,000 adolescents begin drinking alcohol
135,000 kids bring guns or other weapons to school
3,610 teens are assaulted; 80 are raped
2,200 teens drop out of high school
6 teens commit suicide
(Taken from "Right from Wrong" by Josh Mcdowell page 18).
Lying is becoming easier and easier for people these days. According to polls reported by USA Today American’s lie – and are lied to – much more than we realize. The book The Day America Told The Truth says that 91 percent of Americans lie routinely. 81 percent of those said they lied about their feelings.