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Sermon & Worship Packages: Time to Remember
MELVIN NEWLAND
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Tony Campolo says that his wife is a brilliant woman. She has a PHD & is capable of pursuing a very profitable career. But she elected to stay home with her children when they were young. Her decision didn’t bother her at all except when other women would ask, “What do you do?” She would answer, “I’m a homemaker. I stay home & take care of my children & my husband.” They would usually respond with “Oh” & then ignore her from then on.
So Mrs. Campolo came up with this response when she was asked what she did: “I’m socializing two Homo-sapiens in Judeo-Christian values so they’ll appropriate the eschatological values of utopia. What do you do?” They would often blurt out “I’m a doctor” or “I’m a lawyer” & then wander off with a dazed look in their eyes.
1 Peter 2:2-2:10
1 Peter 2:11-2:12
1 Peter 3:3-3:5
1 Peter 3:1-5:15
1 Peter 3:17-4:4
1 Peter 5:1-5:13
1 Peter 2:5-2:10
1 Peter 2:18-2:25
THEY DIED IN THE SERVICE
One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
"Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the
plaque. "Pastor McGhee, what is this?"
"Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:00 or the 11:00?"
Guys, you’d better understand this. There’s a points system at work and the ladies are keeping score. Here’s a small sample just for your information:
Duties
You make the bed +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows -1
You throw the bed spread over the rumpled sheets -1
You leave the toilet seat up -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it’s empty 0
You check out a suspicious noise at night 0
You check out a suspicious noise at night and it’s nothing 0
You check out a suspicious noise at night and it’s something +5
You pummel it with a six iron +10
It turns out to be her father -10
A Night Out
You take her to a movie +2
You take her to a movie she likes +4
You take her to a movie you hate +6
You take her to a movie you like -2
It’s called Death Cop 3 -3
Which features sexy cyborgs -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans -15
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly -15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it +10
You develop a noticeable potbelly & resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts -30
You say, "I don’t care because you have one too" -800
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" -5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding -10
You reply, "Compared to what?" -35
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression 0
When she talks you listen for over 30 minutes +5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV +15
Adapted from "The Points System," c. 2000 John Boy and Billy Inc., http://thebigshow.com
One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out bible.
The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories. As the cowboy took a seat, the others settled down in areas away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all dismayed at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.
The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how people ought to be finding more people to win to Jesus because baptisms were down. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you return next time, maybe have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship. You might find that would help you fit in a little better and feel more at home with us."
The old cowboy assured the preacher he would. The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.
The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God about your attire and get his input on the m...
Dr. M.R. DeHaan put it this way:
In the early days of the church. . . , baptism was a declaration that the believer was definitely identifying himself with that group of people who were called Christians and were despised and hated. To be a Christian meant something. To identify yourself with those who were called Christians meant persecution, maybe death; it meant being ostracized from your family, shunned by friends. And the one act which was the final declaration of this identification was BAPTISM. As long as a man gathered with Christians, he was tolerated, but when once he submitted to baptism, he declared to all the world, I BELONG TO THEIS DESPISED GROUP, and immediately he was persecuted, hated, and despised. In baptism, therefore, the believer entered into the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ. A person might be a believer and keep it strictly a secret and thus avoid unpleasantness and suffering, but once he submitted to public baptism he had burned his bridges behind him. . .” (Pamphlet, Water Baptism, p. 27).
After the collapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989, no person in all of East Germany was more despised than the former Communist dictator Erich Honecher. He had been stripped of all his offices. Even the Communist Party rejected him. Kicked out of his villa, the new government refused him and his wife new housing. The Honechers were homeless and destitute.
Enter pastor Uwe Holmer, director of a Christian help center north of Berlin. Made aware of the Honechers’ straits, Pastor Holmer felt it would be wrong to give them a room meant for even needier people. So the pastor and his family decided to take the former dictator into their own home!
Erich Honecher’s wife, Margot, had ruled the East German educational system for twenty-six years. Eight of Pastor Holmer’s ten children had been turned down for higher education due to Mrs. Honecher’s policies, which discriminated against Christians. Now the Holmers were caring for their personal enemy—the most hated man in Germany. This was so unnatural, so unconventional, so Christlike.
By the grace of God, the Holmers loved their enemies, did them good, blessed them, and prayed for them. They turned the other cheek. They gave their enemies their coat (their own home).
They did to the Honechers what they would have wished the Honechers would do to them. (Reported by George Cowan to Campus Crusade at the U.S. Division Meeting Devotions, Thursday, March 22, 1990.)
IF YOU CARE, GIVE YOUR TESTIMONY
God wants us to be concerned about other people. And one of the best ways we can show our concern is by giving them testimonies about Jesus.
One of my all-time favorite teachers was Don Wilton. One day in class, Dr. Wilton told us about getting to serve on Billy Graham’s team for a crusade in Korea. Dr. Wilton told about sitting on the platform one night during the invitation, -- right next to Billy Graham.
Dr. Wilton couldn’t help notice that during the invitation, Billy Graham started looking down at his fingernails. And he thought, "I can’t believe Dr. Graham is so unconcerned about this invitation that he would be studying his nails!"
Don was getting a little huffy on the inside, if you know what I mean. But just then, Billy Graham pointed to one of the Korean ladies who had come forward to talk to the counselors. And Billy said, "Do you see that lady? -- She did my nails today, and I was able to lead her to the Lord."
That’s the spirit and habit we need! -- Looking for opportunities to tell more people about Jesus. It can help them for all eternity, and it can lighten our burden along the way.
(From a sermon by Rick Crandall, "A Psalm for Troubled Times" 6/29/2009)
"Evangelism is not a professional job for a few trained men, but is instead the unrelenting responsibility of every person who belongs to t...
BECAUSE I'M A GENTLEMAN
A middle-aged business executive once approached the front entrance of the office building in which he worked. A young feminist came up at the same moment, so he stepped back and held the door open for her to pass on through. She looked at him and said with annoyance, "Don't hold the door for me just because I'm a lady."
To her surprise, he looked right back and replied, "I'm not. I'm holding it open because I'm a gentleman."
(Green, M. P. (1989). Illustrations for Biblical Preaching : Over 1500 sermon illustrations arranged by topic and indexed exhaustively (Revised edition of: The expositor's illustration file). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House. From a sermon by Matthew Kratz, The parable of the Faithful & Wise Servant, 7/17/2010)
QUOTES ON HUMILITY
"To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them."
-- Charles de Montesquieu
"Modesty is a shining light; it prepares the mind to receive knowledge, and the heart for truth."
-- Madame Guizot
"None are so empty as those who are full of themselves."
-- Benjamin Whichcot
"Sense shines with a double luster when it is set in humility. An able and yet humble man is a jewel worth a kingdom."
-- William Penn
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