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Did you hear about the Baptist Who got together and purchased their Pastor some rubber wadders so he wouldn’t get wet in the baptism pool so the Methodist heard about it and purchased their Pastor some rubber gloves
D L Moody was once asked why he urged Christians to be filled constantly with the Holy Spirit. "Well," he said, "I need a continual infilling because I leak!" He pointed to a water tank which had sprung a leak. "I’m like that!" he said. It’s a fact that living in this sinful world we do need to be replenished by the Spirit. A friend of mine, an evangelist, was asked if he believed in the "second blessing". "Of course I do," he replied, "and in the 3rd, 4th , 5th blessing, and so on."
BURY IT RIGHT!
The story is told of a teenage son who wanted to be Scripturally baptized. His father told him that the sprinkling he got as a baby was sufficient. The son tried to explain that you can only picture the idea of burial by completely being submerged. Angry, the father told him to forget it and not bring the matter up again.
The next day their dog died, and the father told the son to go out behind the barn and bury it. So the boy went out--and suddenly an idea formed in his mind. He took a handful of dirt and sprinkled it on the dog and left it.
When his dad saw what his son had done, he was angry and said, "I told you to bury the dog. Now go back and bury it right." So the boy went out, and this time he took a cup outside and poured a cupful of dirt on it.
When the father saw it, he said, "Boy, are ye daft?! I said BURY the animal! Put it UNDER THE GROUND, for crying out loud."
Suddenly the old man stopped in his tracks. He looked sheepishly at his son and then said, "Get your coat on, lad. Let’s go see the pastor to see about gettin’ you baptized proper to show death AND burial AND resurrection."
(From a sermon by Charles Sligh, If I Knew I Only Had 30 Days to Live, 4/20/2011)
THIS IS GOOD!
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual,
"This is good!"
To which the king replied, "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
"Yo...
CROOKED ON THE LOT
The Jewish leaders had rejected salvation. The builders had rejected the very cornerstone of the temple, and stumbled over the rock.
Growing up, there was a vacant lot next to our house. One day, a bunch of equipment and workers from Philyaw Construction showed up—and built a house on that vacant lot. It was a huge beautiful brick house—and Philyaw’s moved into it! One day, my dad was looking at the house and realized that even though some professionals had built the house and even though it was a beautiful house—it was crooked on the lot. It didn’t line up with our house or the house on the other side of it. When they laid the first foundation stones, they didn’t lay them square to the road and square to the lot line. That first stone was off, so the whole house was off.
When we lay the foundation for our faith on the person of Christ, holy, sinless, absolute truth, absolute grace and compassion—you build your house around that foundation stone and it will be built right.
Source: From a sermon by Larry Wise, Precious In His Sight, 2/24/2010
As one commentary points out, “Jesus sees every man, no matter where he is: in the dark places of his sin and shame, in his home and work and play, in his seeking to know the truth. Jesus sees everything about a man, but there is one pe...
“Clutching My Cane--Straightening the Derby!” Acts 8: 18-25 Key verse(s): 24: “Then Simon answered, ‘Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me.’”
There’s an old East Texas saying: “It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill just so long as you don’t lose the cow.” To put it into even simpler terms: mistakes don’t make failures, mismanaging those mistakes can. The great performer and comedian Charlie Chaplin put it this way: “No matter how desperate the predicament is, I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane, straightening my derby hat and fixing my tie, even though I have just landed on my head.”
No one likes making mistakes. There is a distinctive feel about mistakes that engenders this. Once we discover the mistake we are usually overtaken with embarrassment. With embarrassment comes the natural human tendency to step into denial. “What mistake?” Finally, when the inevitability of the mistake become undeniable, it is easy to slip into shame and despair. “How could I make such a mistake?” Not a pretty picture for any of us! But, if mistakes are a good thing as we are most often instructed to believe, what is the process for avoiding the shame and despair? There are two pathways to take when a mistake becomes apparent in our lives. We can take the easier path, the one that is wide at the beginning and inviting or the one that is narrower and less inclining. Which way to go? When we realize that the wide path is deceptive, leading us only to a precipitous end over a winding and rocky way, it will be far easier to enter the narrow one to begin with. For that path, though narrow and demanding, is straight and level.
“A biology professor took a small group of young biologists into the desert for intensive study. Miles from civilization, the vehicle in which they were traveling broke down. The group set out on foot on an estimated three-day trek back to their campus. After two days of hard travel, they reached the summit of a huge sand dune. Thirsty and sunburned, they looked around them. Far off to the right was what appeared to be a lake with small trees surrounding it. The students jumped and screamed for joy. But the teacher, who had often been in the area before, knew they were seeing a mirage. He presented the bad news to them, sharing the facts as best he could. But insisting their eyes could not deceive them, the students rebelled. Unable to conv...
