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RELATIONSHIP SINS COST
Divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing cost U.S. taxpayers more than $112 billion a year, finds a study funded by the New York-based Institute for American Values, the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, Families Northwest of Redmond, WA, and the Georgia Family Council. The $112 billion estimate includes the cost of federal, state and local government programs, and lost tax revenue at all levels of government.
Divorce reduces a person’s wealth by 77% compared to that of a single person, while being married increases comparative wealth by 93%.
(Baptist Press 5/6/08)
DIVORCE COSTS EVERYONE
High rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing cost U.S. taxpayers at least $112 billion each year. It is estimated that family fragmentation costs taxpayers more than $1 trillion each decade; about $70.1 billion is at the federal level, $33.3 billion at the state level and $8.5 billion at the local level. Each year the U.S. supports single-parent families with about $28 billion in Medicaid and $35 billion in other welfare costs. An additional $9 billion is spent on child-welfare, and $23 billion is lost in tax revenues because single-parent families often struggle with joblessness. Divorce also substantially accounts for much of cost that goes to the maintenance of courts, police, prisons and jails often frequented by members of single-parent homes who statistically tend to be more involved in criminal activity.
(Baptist Press 5/6/08)
Barna research shows:
That divorce in the church is just as commonas outside the church. In the church 33%, outside the church 34%.
Also, the south is second in the nation in divorce. The south has a divorce rate of 35%, just behind the west (38%), and leading the Midwest (32%) and Northeast (28%).
Another striking percentage for us as Baptists is that we lead the nation’s major denominations in divorce rates at 29%. Protestant churches overall is at 25%.
The divorce rate amongst the generations is also a bit of surprise:
Seniors (73+) = 18%
Builders (53-72) = 37%
Boomers = 34%
Busters = 7% (Most of these are not old enough to
What does this say about marriage in America? Is it old fashioned. One scholar said that long term marriage commitment isn’t good for mode...
LIVING TOGETHER AND DIVORCE
A recent study by the Penn State University interviewed 92 couples found, in general, those who lived together before marriage were
• more verbally aggressive,
• more hostile and
• less supportive than those who waited until marriage to live together.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, found that 70 percent of those who lived together for at least five years did eventually walk down the aisle. But these marriages were also more likely to break up. After 10 years, 40 percent of couples that had lived together before marriage had broken up. That’s a higher percentage of divorce than those who didn’t live together first experienced. (msn.com July 24, 2002)
Wade Horn, a marriage expert at the Department of Health and Human Services explains:
"When living together, the attitude is ’I vow to stay together with you as long as you make me happy.’ In a marriage, people focus on making their partners happy. If you’re used to viewing being together as a test of the other person’s ability to take care of your needs, once you get married it’s hard to just switch that."
Back in 1998, I read an intriguing article by a woman named Mary Roach wrote this in magazine "Health" (quoted in Digest, 12/98 p. 162ff) She wrote:
"I used to balk at the idea of life-long fidelity. But what did I gain for my freedom of living with a man for 13 years? The heart leaping off a cliff and flying through the air. And shortly thereafter, hitting the ground. Heart pulp. Guilt and regret. The knowledge that, by refusing to commit myself to a relationship, I destroyed it.
"Something I failed to grasp is that all marriages are group marriages. I am marrying a man; his delightful, beautiful children; his warm, welcoming parents, his sister, his cousins, their families. A whole clan of hearts and minds that wants me to sign on. What could be more wonderful? Would I belong if we simply lived together? Past experience says, not really. To share a house with someone but not marry sends a message – to him, to our families, to everyone. It says, ’I love this man, but I’m not sure he is it. That’s a message I don’t wish to send anymore.
"Of course, no marriage comes with guarantees. But you have to go into it believing...that this is it, for better and worse, for richer and poorer, liver spots and arthritis. If you do this, the what-ifs of divorce are moot."
(From a sermon by Jeff Strite, "Welcome to the Wedding Feast" 2/23/2009)
The National Child Development Study in the U.K. tracks 17,000 people born in Britain during the same week in 1958. Comparing those individuals with those born years later, the study revealed those in both generations with divorced parents were more likely to suffer from depression and do poorer in school and careers than their peers. They also were more likely to go through a divorce of their own.
STUDY SHOWS DIVORCE WON’T MAKE YOU HAPPIER
One research team studied the responses of over 5,000 married adults who were first interviewed in the 1980s. Five years later, the survey re-contacted those people. Even though the study really wasn’t centered on divorce, they found that some of the original group had gotten divorced or separated during that time...and their responses on their state of happiness took the experts by surprise. What they found was that the divorce RARELY made anyone’s life happier.
According to Dr. Linda Waite, sociology professor at the University of Chicago and lead author of the study, "Staying married is not just for the children’s sake... results like these suggest the benefits of divorce have been OVERSOLD."
Dr. Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, explained the unexpected findings this way: "The conventional belief is that when a marriage is down, it is done... But what we are seeing with these data is that there are couples who are basically down, but the relationship bounces back."
(Source: Family News from James Dobson 9/02, commenting on a study done by The Institute for American Values. From a sermon by Jeff Strite, "Til Death Do Us Part" 2/15/2009.)
A. Todd Coget
1 Corinthians 6:16-6:16
1 Corinthians 11:11-11:11
I'M STANDING FOR MY MARRIAGE
A former Pastor in Seattle, WA wrote a power statement about marriage…
I am standing for the healing of my marriage!
I won’t give up, give in, give out, or give over till that healing takes place.
I made a vow; I said the words; I gave the pledge; I gave a ring; I took a ring; I gave myself; I trusted God; and said the words and meant the words…in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad; so I’m standing now, and won’t sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down, or be down till the breakdown is torn down!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances; or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what’s trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous.
Nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing.
Nor will I seek to lower God’s standard, twist God’s will, rewrite God’s Word, violate God’s covenant, or accept what god hates, namely divorce.
In a world of filth, I will stay pure.
Surrounded by lies, I will speak the truth.
Where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God.
Where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse, and when the odds are stacked against me, I’ll trust in God’s faithfulness.
There was a guy who tried to rid his house of mice. He bought a mouse trap but had no cheese. To remedy the problem, cut out a picture of cheese from a magazine. He loaded the trap with the artificial cheese and went to bed. When he checked the mousetrap that following morning he was quite surprised to find a picture of a ...