Sermon Illustrations

Rules to help women understand men

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up … don’t come tell us about it. Put it down.

2. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don’t make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to … expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

5. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you.

6. We’re never thinking about "the relationship."

7. Get rid of your cat. No it’s not different -- it’s just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than any cats.

9. Sunday = sports.

10. Shopping is not everybody’s idea of a good time.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you have to, but don’t expect us to like it.

14. Your brother is an idiot.

15. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

16. No, we don’t know what day it is. Mark anniversaries.

17. Share the bathroom.

18. Share...

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