Sermon Central
-
The Worst Dad Joke Ever
Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 17, 2023 (message contributor)
I usually begin every one of my Sunday sermons with a funny story to get our congregation comfortable before I begin to dive in deeply to the Word of God. If you like dad jokes or puns (old name) and you want to make your
congregation groan a little bit.........check this dad joke out!
CHESS NUTS
The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a while, they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.
The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests. Instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy.
Get ready.
The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
It's a groaner for sure.
- unknown
Related Sermon Illustrations
-
A. W. Tozer, Another Wonderful Devotional Writer ... PRO
Contributed by Mary Lewis on Jul 2, 2002
A. W. Tozer, another wonderful devotional writer said this: The widest thing in the universe is not space; it is the potential capacity of the human heart. Being made in the image of God, it is capable of almost unlimited extension in all directions. And one of the world’s greatest ...read more
-
There Are Three Kinds Of Givers -- The Flint, ...
Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 28, 2004
There are three kinds of givers -- the flint, the sponge and the honeycomb. To get anything out of a flint you must hammer it. And then you get only chips and sparks. To get water out of a sponge you must squeeze it, and the more you use pressure, the more you will ...read more
-
It Was 1741, And An Old Man Was Wandering The ...
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Jan 6, 2007
It was 1741, and an old man was wandering the streets of London. His name was George Frederick Handel. At this point, he was angry at life. His mind kept going back to the time when he was famous and had the applause of royalty and the elite of London. But now his mind was full of despair and ...read more
-
Charles Spurgeon Offers This Warning: "If You ... PRO
Contributed by Robert Leroe on Jul 10, 2002
Charles Spurgeon offers this warning: “If you haven’t looked at Christ on the cross, you’ll have to look at Him on the throne—with great trembling. The sacrificial death of Christ will be brought before the eyes of all who refuse to accept His free gift of forgiveness and eternal life. In ...read more
-
Henri Nouwen, Who Was A Roman Catholic Priest And ...
Contributed by Mary Lewis on Jul 2, 2002
Henri Nouwen, who was a Roman Catholic priest and a man of deep devotion to Christ said this: I often think: "A life is like a day; it goes by so fast. If I am so careless with my days, how can I be careful with my life?" I know that somehow I have not ...read more
Related Sermons
-
Living In A Season Of Joy Series
Contributed by Dean Courtier on Jul 24, 2017
Each of us experience the natural seasons of winter, spring, summer and autumn; and we also experience spiritual seasons in our lives. I want us to consider together how we can Live in a Season of Joy.
-
When Satan Tries To Steal Your Joy
Contributed by Dr. Jonathan Vorce on Nov 25, 2017
• Have you ever felt like you lost your joy? • Do you ever wake up and think… “I used to be happy.” • Could it be that satan has stolen your joy? • Let’s explore this today…
-
Our God Of Restoration Series
Contributed by Jerry Owen on Oct 1, 2016
Yahweh is the God who delights in restoration.
-
The Refiner's Fire
Contributed by Sam Mccormick on Aug 18, 2017
The prophet Malachi wrote that the Lord would send his messenger of the covenant, and asks, "who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap." What is the answer to Malachi's question?
-
The Refiner's Fire
Contributed by Sam Mccormick on Aug 18, 2017
The prophet Malachi wrote that the Lord would send his messenger of the covenant, and asks, "who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap." What is the answer to Malachi's question?
