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It all started while I was with Jesus while he was on earth. I was one of his twelve disciples. At first his teaching amazed us. He was like no other teacher we had ever heard. We saw him do amazing miracles. People who hadn’t walked in years were now walking. People what had been blind since they were born, could now see. None of us ever really understood what was going on.
The real emotional roller coaster started one day when we found out that Jesus’ good friend Lazarus was very ill. Lazarus lived in Bethany, which was close to the city of Jerusalem. Now, Jesus had been stirring things up. The religious leaders didn’t like him. He said that he wanted to go see Lazarus, but we reminded him that the religious leaders had already tried to kill him.
Lazarus died before we got there, but Jesus wanted to continue. I guess you could say that I’ve always had a pessimistic demeanor. I said, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” I was positive that something bad would happen.
It was amazing. When we got to Bethany, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.
A few days later, Jesus was riding a donkey into the city. Crowds gathered shouting praises to Jesus. It was great. A few days later, we were gathered in a room. We were getting ready to celebrate the Passover meal. Jesus walked over and picked up a water basin. He began to wash our feet. Judas, one of our number, took off in the middle of dinner. No one knew where he was going.
After Judas left, Jesus began to talk about Peter denying him. Then it seemed like he was trying to comfort us. Jesus began to talk about going somewhere. I said, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
When he replied, I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about. He said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one come to the Father except through me.”
After dinner, Jesus was acting kind of distracted. He said he wanted to go and pray, but we were so tired. We went to a garden. He told us to pray, but we couldn’t stay awake. We were awakened by a mob, led by Judas, coming up the path. Judas kissed Jesus. The temple guards arrested Jesus. Peter grabbed his sword and cut the ear of a man. Jesus told him to put the sword away. We got scared and ran. One of the guys with us was so scared that when a guard grabbed his robe, he wiggled out of the robe and ran off naked.
This was it. The end was near. Many of us crept around keeping an eye on the events from a distance. Jesus was taken to the Temple. Then he was taken to Pilate, the Roman governor. He was sentenced to death. I knew this would happen. Jesus was beaten unmercifully. He was forced to drag his cross to the hill called Calvary. They nailed him to the cross. Within a few days, it had gone from the crowds praising him to him being hammered to a cross. It was over. I couldn’t believe it.
I just wanted to be alone. It was all over. Peter, John and the others got together a couple days later, but I couldn’t do it. Seeing those guys again would just bring back all the old memories. We had spent three years with Jesus. I couldn’t make sense of it all. I had to be alone. I had no
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