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How to Resolve Family Conflicts God's Way


Sermon shared by Ray Ellis

May 2004
Summary: In writing to the Christians in Ephesus the Apostle Paul gives teaching on how to resolve family conflicts God’s way.
Denomination: Free Methodist
Audience: General adults
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point of view.

Without honor and respect in the home the home is characterized by damaged lives and broken relationships.

As parents we need to help create an atmosphere conducive to respect and honor. Ephesians 4:27 encourages us to “Give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior.”

Take away honor and respect and you have attitudes of revenge and resentment. Revenge and resentment lead to bitterness. There is nothing that will shrivel your soul like bitterness. An atmosphere of revenge, resentment and bitterness give opportunity to the Devil in the home.

God’s word commands, “Put all bitterness away.” No Christian can afford to harbor bitter feelings toward another person. A Medical doctor, Dr. S.I. McMillen gives this helpful advice, “The moment I start hating someone, I become that person’s slave. I can’t enjoy my work anymore because he even controls my thoughts. My resentments produce too many stress hormones in my body and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work. The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery.”
There is a high price to pay when a person tries to get even. Some people spend endless nights brooding over resentments and trying to think of ways to get even. They do this at the cost of possible high blood pressure, ulcers, and intense colitis. A hospital did a study of 1000 patients suffering from severe colitis and found that resentment was the most prominent personality characteristic occurring in 965 of the patients.

You honor someone by making a decision. You by an act of your will decide to place high value, worth and importance on another person. You grant the person a position in your life worthy of respect. Love always implies value, worth and honor. Honor is a gift you give to others.

When Ephesians 6:1-3 is carried out in the home there are fewer conflicts in family relationships.

There is also less conflict when

II. Parents give Spiritual Leadership in the home

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Parents are not to provoke their children to anger. Children get angry because they are self-centered. Children get angry because they are stubborn. And children get angry because they don’t get their own way.

The second part of verse 4 makes a big impact on the first part. Children are born self-centered. When the child comes to a point of surrendering his/her life to Christ self yields to God’s will. The love of Jesus in the child’s heart takes away stubbornness and children grow and mature and become others centered.

Parents develop high expectations for your children. Dedicate them to the Lord and pray that they will honor the Lord and seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. My passion for my children and my grandchildren is that they will honor the Lord and put Jesus first in their lives and in everything they do please Jesus.

Having low expectations of your children can provoke them to anger and cause hurt and emotional damage.

One mother, who had too much to drink, screamed at her teenage daughter, “You’re so stupid.” That daughter had heard a negative message from her mother time and time again: “You’ll never
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