Improving Your Social Life: Three Essential Communications Skills

have the gift of criticism."
The pastor was wise and replied, "The Bible says that the guy who had only one talent went out and buried it. Maybe that’s what you ought to do with yours."]

d. Ask yourself this question before you speak: Would I be embarrassed or ashamed if God heard me say this? Eph 5:3-4
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
The Greek word for silly talk is a compound word. It is the combination of moros and lego. Lego is speaking or laying forth in words and moros is where we get our English word MORON. In other words, Am I going to sound like a moron if I say this?
Coarse jesting is referring to vulgar or “Adult Humor.”


d. Always speak redemptively.
Col 4:6
6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

3. Get a bigger camel. (The straw that broke the camel’s back)
a. You need a camel that will hold more straw.
i. Make your list of show-stoppers very short.

[I once read something that said if you wanted to trace anger back to its source, just use AHEN.
I don’t mean a chicken, but the acronym A-H-E-N
When you see Anger (the “A”) it is usually covering a Hurt (the “H”)
If you peek under that Hurt, you’ll see you had an expectation (the “E”)
And if you look under that expectation, you’ll find a need – the “N”]

b. You cannot control what others say or do, but you can always control how you respond.
c. Get off the escalator.
i. When things get heated, commit yourself to never escalate.
ii. Finish the conversation when you can speak calmly.
[Thomas Jefferson once said that when you get angry count to ten before you respond. He said if you get really angry, count to 100 before you respond.]
d. One outburst of anger can have permanent consequences.
i. Moses lost his temper at Meribah in Numbers 20 and because of that, God did not allow him to enter the promised land. (Num. 20:12.) Instead of speaking to the rock as God instructed him He struck the rock out of anger. God told him that his little tantrum showed his unbelief and failure to treat God as holy in front of the people.

[Michael Costin, 40-year-old single father of four, was beaten to death on July 5, 2000 in front of his own children at a hockey rink in Reading, Massachusetts. The man who attacked him was reportedly angry because Costin had refused to intervene in a youth hockey game that Junta thought was getting too physical.]

e. The anger of Man and the righteousness of God do not mix.
Alternative Translation:
For when people get angry they do not do the good things God wants them to do.
(from the UBS Handbook Series. Copyright (c) 1961-1997, by United Bible Societies)