Intimacy

Sayings about Friendship

¡ñ True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.

¡ñ Without humor, life is sad. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends, life is impossible!

¡ñ Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don’t say...

¡ñ "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would not follow, I would be at the bottom to catch them when they fall."

¡ñ

The cry for intimate friendships is the heart cry of so many people. I think that in our current generation and culture, that this need is greater than ever before.

We all want a friend with whom we can share our deepest needs, hurts, dreams and aspirations with, and many of us have had such a friend at some point in our lives. In fact, last Sunday evening during our shepherd ministry time, many of you shared memories of some of your ¡°best¡± friends that you had known over the years. Some of us shared how we had lost touch with some of these people, or our lives had changed and the friendship was left to be a memory.

Our need for friendship and intimacy¡­someone we can be close to is evidenced by the SUBSTITUTES that our society uses for intimacy.

Think about some of them:

1. There are more counselors now than ever before. We all have a need to confide our deepest needs to someone.

2. Look at the things we ¡°get lost in¡±¡­the television and internet. We are hungry to connect.

3. Pornography is one of the biggest business in the world, with on-line access now bringing it into almost every home in America. Pornography has been described as ¡°false intimacy¡± that will steal the true thing from a man and his family. .

Intimacy is something that we all crave. It is defined as that which characterizes our deepest nature, marked by very close association, contact or familiarity.

One writer noted that intimacy is the soul expressing and fulfilling itself in another.

The greatest friendship described between two people is described in 1 Samuel 18:1-4, and we looked at the friendship aspect of it last week. This week, we are going to look at the implications that our understanding of intimacy has for our relationships.

1 Samuel 18:1-4

1 Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 2 Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.

As I looked at the life of David, I realized that there is no record of David ever having another friendship like the one he had with Jonathan. In addition, they hadn¡¯t been boyhood friends, they met during their teenage years and their friendship lasted until Jonathan¡¯s death. What this tells me is that great friendships are rare and valuable. It tells me that intimate friendships are something to be treasured, and the development of them requires effort and vulnerability.

1. We have a need to connect with other human beings¡­

i. There is an epidemic of loneliness in our society

ii. 4 in 10 Americans admit to frequent lonliness.

1. But to belong, we have to pay a cost, and that cost is vulnerability.

2. It is a cost that many people aren¡¯t willing to pay, and yet I wonder if they realize what the incredible payoff is for risking and developing an intimate friendship.

3. Just as Jonathan laid down his armor and weapons, we too must lay down our defenses and allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

a. To share our deeper parts with someone trustworthy.

b. We wonder, will I be safe?

2. Lets look at what Intimacy is:

a. Keith Miller says, ¡°In an intimate relationship, one feels safe to reveal hopes, dreams, fears, the past, including one¡¯s sins and mistakes. These things can be shared without the fear of being judged, condemned, or straightened out.

i. Intimacy happens when two people walk into each other¡¯s imaginations, each actually penetrating the secret place of each other¡¯s hearts and minds.

b. We were created in God¡¯s image, and I believe our desire for intimacy comes from our being made in his image.

c. I also believe that we need intimacy as much as we need water, shelter or sleep.

3. Intimacy ¨C what it is not