Absalom
2 Samuel 13-18
Praying in Tragedy
Tell the Story
- Like a season of the Sopranos
Amnon, heir to the throne, is obsessed by his half-sister Tamar (Absalom’s true sister) – he feigns illness and lures her to his room where he tries to seduce her, and then, when she refuses, he rapes her. His obsession turns to disgust and hated and he throws her out. She tears her clothes and puts ashes on her head so that everyone will know what Amnon has done.
David gets wind of the rape and seethes with anger, but he does nothing.
Absalom tells his sister to not worry – he’ll take care of things.
He hates Amnon for what he did, but waits for the right time. He may be motivated by more than revenge – Amnon is the only thing that stands between him and the throne on Israel.
2 years later, Absalom invites all of his brothers for a feast at the sheering of the sheep. Once Amnon is drunk, he orders his servants to kill him. All the brothers run from the table back to Jerusalem & Absalom goes into hiding in Geshur.
Absalom stays in self-imposed exile for 3 years – David might as well have exiled him, because he never called him back home. David wanted to call him back home, but he could not get over his anger to do it. He may have thought, “If he asks for forgiveness, I’ll give it.”
They were two hard-headed men at a stand still. Absalom is angry that he had to do what his father should have done in the first place, David is angry that Absalom went to far and killed Amnon. But they both want reconciliation.
Joab, David’s general, knows it & does what he can to bring the two back together.
Taking a page from Nathan’s book, Joab gets a wise old woman from Tekoa to tell a story.
She is a widow with two sons. The sons fought and one died – the family wants revenge, but that would leave her with no one. David sees her plihght and promises that her guilty son can come home without punishment so that he can support his mother.
She turns around and says, “If you would do that much for me, why would you keep Absalom from the whole nation?
David sees Joab’s hand in the ruse, but he is convinced and allows Absalom back to Jerusalem. But this is no “return of the prodigal” where the father runs out to greet his rebellious son come home. David stays put, and he won’t let Absalom come to him. Absalom comes to Jerusalem but not to the palace. David will not talk to Absalom. They are together and still apart.
Absalom gets tired of the practical exile and he hounds Joab to talk to David on his behalf. Joab ignores Absalom’s requests – he won’t even see him. So Absalom has some servants set fire to Joab’s field to get his attention – It works
14:31-33
Then Joab did go to Absalom’s house, and he said to him, "Why have your servants set my field on fire?"
Absalom said to Joab, "Look, I sent word to you and said, ’Come here so I can send you to the king to ask, "Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me if I were still there!" ’ Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death."
So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.
Absalom’s anger at the way he has been treated does not subside with this reconciliation. He begins a rebellion – 15:2-6
He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, "What town are you from?" He would answer, "Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel." Then Absalom would say to him, "Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you." And Absalom would add, "If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice."
Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.
After 4 years of this (and you thought the American election was long!) He takes off to Hebron with a small army, he is crowned king and most of Israel join him in his rebellion. One man who joins him is named Ahithophel. He is one of David’s closest advisors. It is said that his advise was like the advice of a prophet who hears directly from God. He has been a trusted friend of David’s but he shows himself as an opportunistic hanger-on. It is bad enough that his own son betrayed him – that could be understood – the relationship was broken, and there was the temptation of power – but this was a betrayal by a good friend!
David Prays “Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.”
David has to escape Jerusalem before Absalom attacks. He goes into hiding in the wilderness – just like the old days… except it was much easier to sleep on the ground when he was twenty. And this time it is his own son who wants to kill him & not King Saul.
As they were leaving, Shimei, a member of Saul’s family walk along on top of the road, cursing David & through stones. Abishai says to david, “Let me go slice his head off.” But David has been humbled and he says, “Maybe God told him to curse me, leave him alone.”
Absalom comes into Jerusalem and steps into his father’s throne rather comfortably – as a further slap to his father’s face, he sleeps with David’s concubines. He purposefully breaks the relationship beyond repair – there is no turning back.
When the battle comes, David tells his men, “For my sake, deal gently with young Absalom.” Thousands die & as Absalom is trying to escape on a mule, his ample hair got caught in a tree and left him dangling. Joab ignores David’s request and kills Absalom. David wins the Battle and the kingdom, but he loses his son. He cries “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I could have died instead of you! O Abasalom, my son, my son.”
And you thought your family was dysfunctional!
David makes the Osbournes look normal!
Psalm 55
A Prayer for the betrayed
1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
3 because of what my enemy is saying,
because of the threats of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering on me
and assail me in their anger.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen on me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
6 I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
7 I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;
8 I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."
9 Lord, confuse the wicked, confound their words,
for I see violence and strife in the city.
10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
11 Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, one like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.
15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,
for evil finds lodging among them.
16 As for me, I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He rescues me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned from of old,
who does not change—
he will hear them and humble them,
because they have no fear of God.
20 My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
21 His talk is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
23 But you, God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of decay;
the bloodthirsty and deceitful
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you.
It doesn’t say that David is talking about Ahithophel, but I would hope that you would not betrayed in this way more than once in a lifetime.
Psalm 3
A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom.
1 LORD, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
2 Many are saying of me,
"God will not deliver him."
3 But you, LORD, are a shield around me,
my glory, the one who lifts my head high.
4 I call out to the LORD,
and he answers me from his holy mountain.
5 I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
6 I will not fear though tens of thousands
assail me on every side.
7 Arise, LORD!
Deliver me, my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.
8 From the LORD comes deliverance.
May your blessing be on your people.
A long story and two psalms to say “pray real”
Don’t hide behind formal language…
When you read these psalms outside of the context of the story that David wrote them, you might say, “wow, isn’t he going a bit far?” But David is raw, he’s beat up, hurt, angry, lonely, betrayed… all at once. And he pours it out to God.
Can you do that? Hypocrite – Actor wearing a mask
Can you take the mask off and be real with God?
When life is falling apart, do you act like you have it all together?
Or is God too distant, too divine to talk to that way?
David, the bad dad, the messed up king, still teaches us how to pray.
If life is cruddy – God knows it – so tell him how you feel!
If life is good – God knows it too – so tell him how you feel!
Take the Mask off – Pray Real.
This is how we come to God in the first place – we stand before him and make our confession – “this is who I am.” We lay or life wide open before Him – he already knows it, but He wants us to know it – if this is how we come to him, it is also how we stay with him.
