FATHER’S DAY - RESPONSIBILITIES AND BLESSING
Father’s Day started in America, strangely enough by a lady! In 1909, one hundred years ago this lady, by name of Sonora Dodd, was sitting in church one Sunday, listening to a sermon on Mother’s Day. She decided it was only fair to also have a day for fathers. In 1910, she arranged a special church service to say ’thank you’ for own father. Eventually the idea was taken up by the U.S. President and in 1972 President Nixon made it a permanent official day in the calendar on the third Sunday in June.
Father’s Day is celebrated all around the world to say ‘thank you’ to dads, to encourage them in their parental responsibilities. An old English proverb tells how important fathers are. It says: ‘A father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.’ Fathers are often more appreciated at different ages of their children. Mark Twain had the candour to admit a change in his perception of his father: ‘When I was a boy of fourteen, he said, ‘my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to twenty-one, I was astonished how much he had learned in seven years!’
Rob Parsons, the founder of ‘Care for the Family’, asks the question, ‘What is the most important gift a father can give to his child?’ He always gives the same answer: it is his unconditional love and acceptance. The key to a child’s heart is to let him or her know that we love them anyway whatever may have or will happen. There is no more powerful force on the face of the earth for building strong relationships than unconditional love.
Rob Parsons tells the story of his daughter Katie coming home from school. She came running in yelling, ‘Dad, I got 95 per cent in maths!’ Rob had two questions for that little girl: ‘What happened to the five per cent?’ and ‘Where were you in the class order?’ He confesses: ‘I’m not proud of that conversation.’ Of course, every parent should do their utmost to motivate their child and help them achieve their best. He realized that Katie needed to know that his love for her was not based on her accomplishments, but on their relationship. He was her father. In other words, love without strings.
Children can see our love and acceptance of them in:
• OUR WORDS
Acceptance means we will strive to find the good in our children. If we’re not careful, so much of our communication with our children involves catching them doing something wrong and criticizing them for it. A woman was looking back over her rebellious teenage years and struggling to find an answer to why she had reacted in that way. Finally she put it into words: ‘The fastest way to get my dad’s attention was to do something wrong.’ It’s imperative that we catch our children doing something right! We do well to remember the awesome power of praise. There’s hardly a person on the face of the earth who doesn’t respond to it. Most of us know how effective it is in the work situation, but for a child, it can be like rain in the desert.
Of course, there’s two sides to a coin. Children, like all human beings, have an inbuilt desire to do what they want to do which could well be the beginning of the downward slope to wrongdoing. It’s all part of the fallen nature of humanity. Part of parental responsibility is to provide loving discipline. The book of Proverbs gives some sound advice: ‘Train up a child in the way he should go’ – this can’t be disputed – and it goes on ‘and when he is old he will not turn from it’ – but this is subject to the free will which is our choice in life (22:6). The wise man goes on to concede that ‘Folly is bound up in the heart of a child’ (22:15). He urges his readers to: ‘Discipline your son, and he will give you peace’ (29:17). But it all depends how it’s done.
There’s a tragic example of this in the life of Eli, a priest of Israel who lived about 900 years before Christ. He had two sons but he evidently failed to establish discipline over them. In later life, when they followed their father in priestly functions, they weren’t only evil in their personal lives, but they flagrantly disregarded the will of God as they served as leaders in Israel’s worship (1 Sam 2:12-17). Even when their father confronted them - sadly too late - they refused to repent and it led to God’s condemnation and the downfall of themselves and the nation.
How can we strike the right balance? Children see that we love them in:
• GIVING OUR TIME
When children are growing up it’s often the time of life when parents, especially fathers are heavily involved in their work and careers. It’s then all too easy for the family to live separate lives, and the children to grow up without their dad’s involvement. I wonder if that was the root of the trouble in the case of Eli and his sons? In our busy lives we excuse ourselves that we’re doing it ’all for them’ – but they would be better off with fewer luxuries and more of dad. Somebody once said, ‘We’re so busy giving our children what we didn’t have, that we don’t have time to give them what they should have.’
Rob Parsons says: ‘Your nine-year-old son will not cherish the memory of the television you bought for his bedroom. But he’ll never forget the night that you and he slept in the garden in an old tent somebody lent you. He’ll remember the sense of excitement as you both ate too many sweets, and how he felt when the battery in the torch failed and it was darker than he had ever known. And when he is old, he’ll still remember it.’
Children need our acceptance of them in:
• SHOWING CARING LOVE
Children have a whole life ahead of them. What we do for them when they’re in their impressionable years will often fit them for life. It seems that Eli was a failure as far as his children were concerned but he did redeem himself as an aged man. It’s the story of Samuel as a young lad, placed in his care by his devoted mother, Hannah. She had prayed to God for a child and for years it was denied to her but when a baby was born to her she dedicated him to God’s service. When he was still only a young lad she took him to the house of the Lord and brought him to Eli and said, ‘I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord’ (1:27). Eli took care of him as an adoptive father.
The story presents a charming picture of the small boy dressed in a miniature priest’s costume ‘ministering before the Lord … and the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favour with the Lord and with men’ (2:18;26). God now had a special duty for him. Eli had grown old; his sons had gone from bad to worse. God had sent a prophet to Eli to give him a final warning of the judgement that was to befall Israel for dishonouring God and the fate of Eli’s two sons. One night, when Samuel was in his early teens, God spoke to him while he was sleeping in the courtyard of the sanctuary. We must never discount the way that God can reveal Himself to young people. They are all precious to Him. Remember how Jesus rebuked His disciples when they tried to prevent children being brought to Him.
Up to that time Samuel knew about God although he didn’t know Him personally, but now the Lord revealed Himself more directly. The story tells us that God ‘called’ and finally ‘came and stood there’ with him (3:6-10). God always speaks softly. He never raises His voice or screams and shouts, and He speaks personally. Three times the call came. Samuel naturally thought it was Eli calling him and obediently got up and went to his master but was told on the first two occasions: ‘I did not call; go back and lie down’ (3:5,6) but on the third time Eli realised that something special was happening. He was acting as a true father to his child: ‘Eli realised that the Lord was calling the boy’ (3:8).
God spoke to Samuel when he was still a young person. Eli was wise enough, on hearing of the third call, that it was from God. What a responsibility parents have to counsel their children. The opportunity comes, perhaps rarely, but it must be seized or it will pass by. Eli acted as a faithful father to Samuel: ’So he told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening”’ (3:9).
The Lord did speak to Samuel. It wasn’t good news because it was confirmation that God was to bring judgement on Eli’s sons. Eli realised that God’s words to Samuel would be very significant so he insisted that the lad tell him what God had said. Samuel faithfully reported to Eli all that God had revealed to him, and this was the start of his ministry. How important it is that we listen expectantly to what God is saying and be obedient to His voice even if we don’t like what we are hearing, whether we are young or old. Being a father to our children or those committed to our care, isn’t an easy task. Whether parents or not, we all have a role in helping our young people to recognise the call of God on their lives.
We can best do this in:
• MODELLING OURSELVES ON JESUS AND OUR HEAVENLY FATHER
When Jesus addressed God He did so in a very personal and intimate way. He used the word ‘Abba’ (Mark 14:36). It was used by children in speaking to their father, as ‘daddy’. The apostle Paul also used it in writing his letters to the churches (Rom 8:15; Gal 4:6) - that is our privilege too. If we are Christians, our relationship with God is as close and as direct as that because Jesus gave new meaning to the idea that God is our Father. In doing so, Jesus was speaking from the depths of His personal experience in growing up in Palestine. We have little information of Jesus’ early years but sufficient to know that He had a good relationship with Joseph the husband of His mother, Mary.
The Scriptures identify Joseph as the carpenter of Nazareth, but also as a descendant of the great kings of David and Solomon, with royalty in his blood. Joseph showed great love and concern for the infant child under his care when He was threatened by the wicked king Herod. He took his little family hundreds of miles to the safety of Egypt. Later on, when Jesus was twelve and taken to Jerusalem to fulfill the requirements of the law of Moses, in the confusion of the crowds, His parents lost sight of Jesus when He stayed behind in the temple and in their loving concern travelled back to retrieve Him. It seems that Joseph died sometime between this incident and the baptism of Jesus at the Jordan but, without doubt, the lessons which Jesus learned at his earthly father’s side and his strong example contributed to His emphasis upon the love of God.
The best model of fatherhood we have, of course, is our Heavenly Father. He is clearly pictured in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who is seen waiting patiently for the return of his son and to welcome him back into the family. Remember the words of Jesus, how tenderly He spoke of God’s love: ‘Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will he give him a stone? … If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!’ (Matt 7:11).
This is what is expected of us: in Our Words, in Giving our time, Showing caring love, and Modelling ourselves on Jesus and our Heavenly Father. Hearing God’s voice and being willing to follow His guidance is a ministry which at the last day will receive our Lord’s commendation, ’Well done, good and faithful servant’ (Matt 25:21).
FATHER’S DAY PRAYER
Our Heavenly Father, it is a privilege to address you as ‘Our Father’. We do so because Jesus taught His disciples to offer our prayers to ‘Our Father in heaven’.
On this special day we bring our prayers of thanksgiving for our fathers, many of whom are no longer with us on Earth, but we remember them with joy. Thank you for every memory of them, who gave us life and love. Be with those of our fathers who are still with us and help us to show them love and affection today and all the days of our life. Please take care of them.
Heavenly Father, please draw near to adults who had no loving father to protect and provide for them in their childhood, especially those who now have children of their own. Please give Christian men an increasing desire and ability to be an example to other men and give godly leadership in their families and communities. Help us in our turn, whether we are fathers or have taken upon ourselves the responsibility of parenting or caring for children, to show them by our love, that they, in their turn, may become the loving, caring persons they are meant to be.
Dear Lord, we pray for children who have been deprived of a father’s love and care. Please be with children and young people who are without a Dad. We ask that You will guide and comfort them in times of uncertainly and weakness. Thank You for every man who reflects Your Father heart – towards his own children and also to those beyond his family circle.
We pray for all who have the responsibility of caring for young life - for parents, grandparents and foster-parents and teachers – that they might be faithful to their calling and be an example and friend, and help them to be wise, patient and loving in their words and actions, to show your love.
And so Lord, we offer you our lives; we ask that we may be instruments of praise, in the words we speak, in the things we do, in the way we live. Grant this through Christ our Lord.
Hear our prayers as we join in the prayer that Jesus taught His disciples to prayer:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us thus day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen
