Watching Your Words
James 3:1-12
Intro: James has already mentioned the need to watch what we say. In the first chapter of James he said James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Also, James 1:26 “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” Now he devotes 2/3 of a chapter explaining why it is so vital that we watch what we say.
-The story is told about a young man who had been saying harsh things about another man in town. One day he discovered that none of the things he had been saying were true. By spreading the information he had caused a lot of damage to the man’s reputation. He went to his grandfather and asked how he could make things right. Grandfather took a pillow to the front porch, cut it open, and began spreading the feathers into the wind. "All you have to do is pick up the feathers."
-It is so important that we watch what we say! Apparently James was aware of some problems among the people to whom he was writing. Or, it is possible he was just aware of human nature. Regardless, James tackles this subject head on and uses several verses to show that an uncontrolled tongue is inconsistent with a life that pleases God. The words that we say are of profound importance! And that leads us to the main idea:
Prop: God wants our words to be a source of blessing to Him and to those around us.
TS: Let’s look at a few brief thoughts that show us what that looks like.
I. Controlling what we say is vitally important (1-6)
1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
-The more you say, the more you have to answer for. That is why James kicks this off with a warning about everybody wanting to be a teacher. James is not discouraging the gift of teaching here, but is addressing the situation where some Jewish Zealots were apparently recruiting right out of the churches or gatherings of Christ followers. They would stir up spite and rebellion against Rome, posing as teachers of God’s ways. James seems to battle these Zealots throughout this short letter in one way or another.
-James goes on to point out that of all the ways we fail and stumble, what we say is the most telling. If we can avoid failure in what we say, then the rest is quite manageable. And of course the answer is not to avoid conversation or proclamation. If we live a life of avoidance, we aren’t really winning the battle against the real enemy, are we?
-One guy joined a monastery. For three years he was given a probation period where he was not to speak at all, but at the end of each year he could say two words.
At the end of the first year he said, "Bed hard." At end of the second year he said, "Food cold." At the end of the third year he has had enough. He comes in and says, "I quit". The head priest says, "That doesn’t surprise me. All you’ve done is complain since you got here."
-James uses several examples to show how potent our words are. Small bits can turn very large horses. Relatively small rudders can turn gigantic ships. Small sparks can set fire to great forests, burning thousands of acres at a time.
-So I started wondering, “Is the tongue a thermometer or a thermostat?” And I concluded that the answer was “Yes!” It reveals what is on the inside and it can affect what is on the inside. Jesus said it like this: Matthew 12:34 “…how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” The mouth shows what is on the inside.
-Have you ever noticed that when you let your words fly, and you go ahead and say harsh things to or about others, that it often snowballs and becomes easier to repeat? The Jews had plenty of reasons to be angry at Rome. Many of them had lost friends and family members to Roman persecutions, imprisonments, and executions. Many of them had been forced to endure the rude treatment of Roman soldiers who could legally force a Jew to carry their equipment a mile down the road. So when someone came among them and starting Roman bashing, it struck a chord and uncovered the hostility that had been smoldering inside of them. And the more they talked about the Romans and how much they hated them, the more they boasted about what they’d like to do to them! Verse 6 really describes this passionate contempt for the Romans: “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
-James addresses this issue back in 1:20 when he writes that “man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Once you start verbalizing the evil thoughts within you, it is like feeding the fire. It begins to corrupt you, changing your passion for God into an evil passion for vengeance. James indicates that this can change the course of your life and that the hateful fire of rebellion is fed by hell, and ultimately leads there.
-Now, let’s go ahead and meddle a little bit. Maybe you have found yourself outraged at some of the leaders of our nation in recent days, weeks, months, or years. Maybe something they did was unjust, unhelpful, deceptive, self-serving, and just went against everything you value. What was your reaction? Were you angry? What did you do with that anger? What did your words sound like as you verbalized your feelings? Were they fiery words? Are they words you could repeat to a 5 year old?
-Just yesterday I got corrected by my 5 year old – again! I’d had a pretty long day and had a lot of work still to do, but Zoe and I were enjoying a little picnic meal out here at the tables. I was tired and cranky and said something about some stupid kids who kept breaking our picnic tables. Zoe looked really hurt and said, “Dad, you really shouldn’t call people stupid because I know how you feel. When Buttercup chewed up my stuff I was mad, but I didn’t call her stupid.” How do you argue with that? I repented and told her she was right.
-After Karen Carpenter died of heart failure at the age of 32 brought on by years of fighting an eating disorder, it became known that her fatal obsession with her weight was triggered by a single reviewer’s comment. When referring to Karen, this man called her “Richard’s chubby sister.” There were probably other factors that led to Karen Carpenter’s struggles, but this one comment unleashed a flurry of self-doubt, which led to her eventual disease and death. It is so important to control our words!
-Here is a suggestion. When your child does something wrong, instead of saying something like, “You’re naughty,” or “You’re such a brat,” why not say something like, “What you did was wrong and I don’t want you to do that again.” It’s real easy to say things to our kids that are not really true -- the tragedy is that they can very easily grow up thinking they are naughty, or bratty, or chubby, or ugly. Try to separate who they are from what they do. Their identity is greater than the sum total of their actions as they are finding their way in this life. And this can apply to your other relationships.
-So what we say is very important! It can show what is in the heart, but it can also corrupt us further and cause us to act out things that are not okay for a follower of Jesus! What’s more, our words can have a profound effect on those around us. How many times have people been driven further away from God, simply because of the careless or harsh words of those who claim to follow Him? Control is needed so badly in this area. But I’ve got some bad news. Sometimes things get worse before they get better. No matter how critical it is that we control our words…
II. Controlling what we say is virtually impossible (7-8)
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
-The language in v.8 seems to refer to a snake. It could be a subtle inference to the serpent in the garden, who with enticing words, delivered its deadly venom into the human race. All the other animals were under the dominion of Adam. But the serpent was out of control and not tamable – so it is with the tongue – our words.
-Learning when to speak and when not to speak is a lesson we all could probably use help with. Some people have learned to control their words in times of anger or frustration, but as James already indicated, the man who never slips up with his words is the man who never slips up with his actions.
-And guess what? That man does not exist, except for the Son of Man – Jesus. We’ve all sinned with our words. We’ve said things we didn’t mean. We’ve said things just to be mean. We’ve badmouthed the government, and the neighbors, and even cursed the person who vandalized our property.
-Let’s face it! By ourselves we cannot control what comes out of our mouths! One of my favorite verses is found in Mark 10:27: “…with God all things are possible.” And that takes us to our final point.
III. Controlling what we say is definitely doable with God’s help (9-12)
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
-How is it that with one breath we can pray long flowery prayers, extolling the greatness of our God, and with another breath go off on somebody who was created in God’s image?
-I have shared before what one Jewish interpretation of the second greatest commandment is. Love your neighbor as yourself is the 2nd greatest commandment according to Jesus, and is first found in Leviticus 19:18. Some Jewish scholars render this as follows: “Love your neighbor who is like yourself,” with the thought in mind that you are made in the image of God. So, love your neighbor, who, like you, is made in the image of God.
-If we curse someone who bears the image of God, is there not a sense in which we are cursing God? James doesn’t actually say that, but I believe the implication is there. But the thing that seems to trouble James is that both praise and cursing can come from the same source. You can’t praise God one minute and then curse someone the next. “Brothers, this should not be!”
-I love that! Brothers, this should not be! You know what that tells me? It tells me there is hope! God never sends obligation without provision! If this ought not to be, then there must be a way to do what one ought to be doing. So here are a few thoughts to help us tame our tongues and make our words a source of life and blessing.
1) Ask God to help you- He says without Me you can do nothing; but with God all things are possible.
2) Read Proverbs and James. The Book of Proverbs has 31 chapters, one for each day of the month. Why not make a decision to read a chapter each day, along with a chapter from the Book of James? After a month, you will have read through the entire book of Proverbs once and James 6 times! Almost every chapter in Proverbs has something about the tongue:
3) Think First. Using the acronym THINK, try to ask these 5 questions before you speak.
Is it True? Remember this rule about gossip: “The more interesting it is, the more likely it is to be false.”
Is it Helpful? Will your words help bring about a solution to a problem?
Is it Inspiring? Will your words build up someone?
Is it Necessary? Do we have to say anything at all?
Is it Kind? Are your words based on a desire to help?
4) Talk Less. Your chances of blowing it with your words are directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with your mouth open. Abe Lincoln said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
-Calvin Coolidge said, “I have never been hurt by anything I did not say.” Proverbs 10:19 puts it this way: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”
-There was a woman who had a very serious throat condition. The doctor told her that her vocal cords needed total rest; she was forbidden to talk for 6 months! With a husband and 6 kids, this seemed impossible, but she did what she was told. When she needed the kids she blew a whistle. Whenever she needed to communicate she wrote things on pads of paper.
-After six months, her voice came back. When asked what it was like to communicate only in writing, she said this: “You’d be surprised how many notes I crumpled up and threw into the trash before I gave them to anyone. Seeing my words before anyone heard them had an effect that I don’t think I can ever forget.”
5) Build up others. The Bible continuously reminds us to encourage one another with our words. Someone has said that we shouldn’t complain about our spouse’s faults because if it weren’t for those faults they could have married someone so much better! Are we speaking words of death or words of life? Words of life energize people. Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
-Chuck Swindoll tells the story about a guy he went to seminary with. This man had a bright red birthmark that covered half his face. After Chuck got to know him a little bit, he finally got up the courage to ask him what had happened. His friend answered by telling him what his dad had told him: “Son, that birthmark is where an angel kissed your face. You have it so that I can always pick you out of the crowd.” Swindoll’s friend then turned to him and said, “You know, I almost feel sorry for those who don’t have a birthmark.” That dad spoke words of life to his son ¬ and the son was still living off those words years later.
-Let me challenge you to give one encouraging word to everyone you talk to every day. You’ll probably have to be intentional. Tell your son or daughter something that will build them up. Teenagers, give a life-word to your parents. Siblings, say something kind to each other. Couples, affirm and encourage each other at least once a day.
6) Have Open Heart Surgery. Why is it so hard to say kind things with our tongues? It’s because the Bible says that in our strength we will never tame our tongues. Where does all the garbage come from that comes out of our mouths? Jesus said it comes from our hearts.
-God doesn’t want you to leave here today and try to tame your tongue totally in your own strength. It will take more than just willpower and determination. If you want to stop using death words, and begin speaking words of life, you need a different heart. The good news is that Jesus does that. If you’ve never allowed Jesus to change you from the inside out, then it’s time for some open heart surgery. If you keep your old heart, you’ll continue to launch verbal grenades and live like you’ve always lived. But, if you ask Jesus for a new one by turning your life over to Him, you can have a fresh start, a new beginning.
-Only God can give us the power we need to build others up instead of tearing them down. If you want to be a dispenser of life words instead of death words, you need to be rightly related to God. And, we become rightly related to God through our words. Romans 10:9-10: “If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
7) Get Baptized. Some of you may have recently made a decision to surrender your life to Jesus but you have not yet been baptized in water. Among other things, baptism is a Biblical way for you to publicly declare that you now belong to Jesus Christ. Your baptism can serve as a benchmark and give you the opportunity to say with your mouth what has taken place in your heart. The water doesn’t save you, but it is how Jesus told His followers to help believers become part of a spiritual family where they can learn and grow and find identity as a follower of Jesus. If you would like to be baptized, we don’t have to wait until summer. We can work out a time and a place. Just come talk to me. (6 of these 7 points adapted from Brian Bill, sermoncentral.com)
Conclusion: So, how’s your verbiage? Are you watching your words? Is God being honored with everything that comes out of your mouth? If not, then what will you do about it? If you didn’t get all these points down, they are available on our website. You can either read them or listen to them. Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.
-I encourage you to take some time to talk to the Lord about your words. He is the One who gave us the ability to speak and communicate. He is the One who can help us speak true words of life and blessing, instead of words of death and bitterness. Let’s pray.
