The Proverbs 31 Mother
The greatly used evangelist, D. L. Moody, said this about the influence of his mother, “All I have ever accomplished in life I owe to my mother.” I hope you can say that about your mother. Moody’s mother like all mothers was not perfect but D. L. Moody allowed her to be used of God to mold his life for ministry. The kingly author of Proverbs 31, King Lemuel, also praises his mother’s influence in his life. What the king says fits well with the message of the book of Proverbs: Wisdom for godly living.
The king gives the godly advice of his mother in Proverbs 31:1-9. Then he provides her godly example in 31:10-31. Both her words and life were powerfully used by God.
Wisdom in Proverbs is personified as a godly woman who is pursuing you and to whom you should listen as in Proverbs 1:20-26. In Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman is godly wisdom in the flesh. What is personified in 1:20-26 is a person in 31:10-31. The author is telling young men to pursue a virtuous woman like you pursue godly wisdom.
Foolishness in Proverbs is also personified but as an adulterous woman who is also pursuing you and to whom you should not listen. In Proverbs 9:13-18, the foolish woman is to be avoided and not listened to. Both Lady Wisdom and Lady Folly stand at the crossroads of your life calling to you to follow them. You must choose between wisdom and foolishness.
From this personification of wisdom we learn that wisdom is relational and social. Wisdom comes from three important relationships in described in Proverbs.
1. Wisdom comes from fearing the Lord.
The author has come full circle. In Proverbs. In 1:7, he records the theme of Proverbs: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” Now at the end of Proverbs he states that the crowning virtue of the virtuous woman is the fact that she fears the Lord in 31:31. The fear of the Lord is the Old Testament way of describing salvation. Even in the New Testament, Paul admonished Timothy to “continue in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing of whom you have learned them; and that from a child you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus”(2 Timothy 3:14-15). Trusting Christ as your Savior is the wisest decision you will ever make.
2. Wisdom comes from obeying you parents.
In 1:8-9, Solomon writes, “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and forsake not the law of your mother.” The author comes full circle again in 31:1-9 with advice reminiscent of chapters 1-9. In chapters 1-9, Solomon gives 15 “My Son” talks to his son. Here in 31:1-9, is a mother’s “My Son” talk. These “My Son” talks are full of wisdom.
3. Wisdom comes from developing godly friendships.
In 1:10, 15 Solomon warns of the danger of ungodly friendships. In Proverbs 31:10-31, the author challenges each young man to choose as his lifelong friend a virtuous woman.
In Proverbs 31, the author first gives the godly mother’s advice and then her example.
I. The Godly Advice of his Godly Mother in 31:1-9.
The mother of this king reminds her leader son that she has earned her right to be heard. He is her son. She has birthed him. She also, like Hannah, prayed for him and vowed to the Lord that her son would serve the Lord. This vow reminds us of barren Hannah praying and vowing to the Lord that if He gave her a son she would give him back to the Lord all the days of his life (1 Samuel 1).
A. Her first advice was to pursue purity in 31:3.
Solomon also warned three times out of the fifteen ”My Son” talks about the wrong kind of women. Of course he later did not follow his own wisdom as 1st Kings 11 records. The tragic result was that Solomon’s exotic women brought down his kingdom. Just ask John Edwards if this advises is still true today.
B. Next, the mother of the king advises him to avoid drunkenness in 31:4-7.
Drunkenness not only impairs the driving but the decision-making ability of a leader. Ecclesiastes was Solomon’s last book. He wrote Ecclesiastes when he was old and reflects back over his wasted years after 1st Kings 11 when he no longer loved the Lord and before he returned to the Lord. He recounts what he did in his wasted years in Ecclesiastes 2:1-11. He pursued wine, women, and the party life. His conclusion is in Ecclesiastes 2:11, “Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labor that I had labored to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.” Such are the regrets of those who follow Solomon’s example.
C. Finally, she advises her son, as a leader, to treat people fairly in 31:8-9.
He must open his mouth and speak up for the marginalized: the poor, the widows, and orphans: Those who have no voice or influence.
The sum of her advice is this: Don’t live selfishly for yourself as a leader but use your talents and influence for others. Jesus perfectly lived out this wisdom. He defined His God ordained mission in life: “I came not to be served but to serve and to give my life a ransom for many.” In part two we will look at the example the godly mother provides in 31:10-3
The young bachelor should use this list in Proverbs 31:10-31 as a checklist for his future wife before he goes to matchmaker.com match.com, chemistry.com or eHarmony.com.
The Proverbs 31 woman is really the Proverbs 31 women. In Proverbs 31:1-9, the godly mother of an unknown king gives him wise advice. In Proverbs 31:10-31, the checklist is provided for a young man to follow when looking for a godly woman to be his wife and the future mother of his children.
I. The Godly Advice of a Godly Mother in 31:1-9.
II. The Godly Example of a Godly Wife and Mother in 31:10-31.
These verses are an acrostic. The Hebrew has 22 letters and each verse in Proverbs 31:10-31 begins with a successive Hebrew letter. These verses form the A to Z of a godly wife and mother. Here is his checklist in alphabetical order.
A. First on the list is her Character in 31:10-12.
1. She is as priceless as a rare jewel and godly wisdom.
There is a similarity of language 31:10 in describing wisdom in Proverbs 3:13-15: “Happy is the man who finds wisdom….she is more precious than rubies.” What is a personification in Proverbs 3 is a person in Proverbs 31. This priceless wisdom, however, has to be searched for as if you were mining and excavating for gold (Proverbs 2:4-6). In 2:4-7, there is an “If” “Then” or a condition/consequence formula. If you seek you shall find. If we are to find this godly wisdom for living we have to emulate the example of the believers in Berea who “searched the scriptures daily” (Acts 17:11). Both a virtuous wife and wisdom are found only as the result of great energy expended. Young men and women should be praying daily for God to lead them to the mate of His choice.
2. She is not like the women his mother advised him to avoid in 31:3.
Those women are the polar opposite of the virtuous woman. They are the adultrous women that Solomon warned his son about three times (chapters 2, 5, 7) in Proverbs. Those women are like rocks and dirt clogs in a field. Not hard to find. You can pick one up at a bar almost any night of the week. Of course anyone else can pick them up too.
3. The husband of the virtuous woman trusts in her (31:11-12).
He is not afraid she will plunder (Joshua 7:21 “spoil”) him (verse 12b) with her check book or credit card on one those shop till you drop trips.
4. This rare jewel can be found only with God’s help according to Proverbs 18:22: “Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord.”
“A prudent wife is from the Lord” (Proverbs 19:14). Ruth is referred to as “a virtuous woman” by Boaz in Ruth 3:11. According to Ruth 1:1, Ruth and Boaz lived in one of the most morally apostatized cultures of all time when “every man did that which was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25). Yet Boaz found Ruth in the marvelous providence of God. It is like Boaz had to dig through a sewer to find this rare ruby.
B. Next on the list is her Industry in 31:13-27.
Solomon contrasts the wise and the fools in Proverbs. The wise are virtuous and the fools are adulterous. The wise are diligent and the fools are sluggards (13:4). The virtuous woman is diligent.
What is interesting is what is not on the list. On the check list for a future wife is not listed the color of her hair or eyes. Or how much she weighs or what is her dress size. But the young bachelor should ask to see her hands. Her hands are referred to seven times in these 22 verses. He wants to see if she is a hard worker. Her hands should not be soft from soaking in bubble bath hours on end. One of the qualities that attracted Solomon to the Shulamate woman was her dark tan that she got, not from baking in a tanning bed, but from working long hours in her brothers’ vineyard (Song of Solomon 1:5, 6 and 8:11). Solomon knew she was a hard worker and this virtue attracted him to her. Boaz first saw Ruth the virtuous woman gleaning corn in his field and like Solomon was impressed with her industry.
1. She has developed skills in 31:13.
The skills referred to in this verse equipped her well for life in ancient Israel as a seamstress. Today she would be a nurse, secretary, administrative assistant, teacher or a domestic engineer i.e., homemaker.
2. She is a thrifty shopper in 31:14-15.
She cross shops and compares prices.
3. She manages well her home in 31:16-19.
a) By selling property in 31:16 and reinvesting in other projects. Apparently she has her realtor’s license. She is not a mind-numbed robot standing over a washboard all day. Again, her diligence is a reflection of her character. She has dressed herself with strength in 31:17. In 31:25, the virtuous woman has “strength and honor” as her clothing. She is like the woman Peter describes who wins her unsaved husband. Her adorning is not “the outward adorning of plaiting of the hair, and of wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel”….but “the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:1-4). Her focus is not her appearance. She obviously has not neglected her appearance nor the appearance of her family because she dresses them and herself nicely (31:21). But her godly demeanor is her main concern.
b) By sowing clothes in 31:19. She has several home businesses.
4. She accomplishes this mammoth task through hard work.
a) She gets up early (31:15a), stays up late (31:18b) and eats not the bread of the idle (31:27). She doesn’t park on the couch, eat TV dinners and watch Soap Operas all day.
b) We have all heard the one liner that fits perfectly the Proverbs 31 woman, “Man’s work is from sun to sun but a woman’s work is never done.”
5. She works hard for others in 31:19-27.
a) She works hard so she can give to others in 31:19-20. She closes her hands on her sowing tools so she can open her hands to the needy. She is like Dorcas who sowed clothes for poor widows in Acts 9:36-41 and was wept over at her death because of her sacrificial labor. She never made the Fortune 500 but she wove her way into the hearts of the needy.
b) She works hard for her family in 31:21-27. Her husband can take leadership responsibility because his wife has the house under control. This woman raises the leadership of everyone around her. Her son in 31:1-9 is a leader on the throne. Her husband in 31:10-23 is a leader in the city. She is a leader and teacher of her children (Proverbs 31:26).
6. What is important in your mate?
It changes over time. When Solomon wrote his first book, The Song of Solomon, he majored on the physical beauty of his bride on their honeymoon. Three times, Solomon intimately describes her beauty. For example read 4:1-2. Now, years later when he is older and more mature, his wife’s character is what matters most. He admits in Proverbs 31:30 “beauty is vain” or fleeting.
C. Lastly, she receives her well-earned praise in 31:28-31.
We have seen that first on the list for a potential godly wife is her character in 31:10-12. Next on the list is her Industry in 31:13-27. Finally, she receives her well-earned praise in 31:28-31.
1. From her children in 31:28a.
Honor your mother this Mother’s Day season or at least honor her memory. Thank God for several blessings you have because of the hard work of your mother. The first is your life which is the result of her painful childbirth. Also, the fact she stayed up late at night feeding you and wiping your fevered brow when you were sick. She sacrificed so you could have clothes and things.
2. From her husband in 31:28b-30.
Honor your wife today or be thankful for your years together. Give her three compliments today. Compliment her looks. Compliment some things she has done for you or your family or someone else. Compliment her character. Thank her for being a caring wife or mother, or her faithfulness to church, or her faithfulness to you.
3. From the public in 31:31.
At this Mother’s Day season we publicly praise our mothers. In the Hebrew Bible, Ruth follows Proverbs 31. In Ruth, Boaz publicly recognizes Ruth at the public gate in order to secure her as his wife. We should follow the example of both Boaz and the author of Proverbs 31 to be a Proverbs 31 husband or father or son or daughter and thank God for the wife or mother with which God has blessed us.
