SWEET AND SOUR FELLOWSHIP
Talk about picnic; one of two fellowship meals put on by the church-the other being Thanksgiving. It made me think about the subject of fellowship. Fellowship can be very sweet when it’s conducted the right way. But fellowship can also be sour. Sweet and sour might be good when you’re talking about a dipping sauce but not when you’re talking about fellowship. Let’s take a look at the differences between sweet and sour fellowship.
1) Sour fellowship.
• Unequal fellowship.
They say opposites attract. That might be fine when we’re talking about personalities but when it comes to spirituality it’s not okay.
2nd Cor. 6:14-15, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”
Paul is not saying have nothing to do with unbelievers. We’re supposed to be ministering to them, loving them and we can even be friends with them. However, there are boundaries to set with them. We should not think that we can be linked together with them because there will be contention when it comes to matters of principle and spirituality. There cannot be sweet fellowship with an unbeliever because we won’t be in agreement in matters of faith. We won’t be able to have harmony when it comes to the bible, the church or spiritual matters. There won’t be unison in the Spirit.
They won’t be looking at things from a spiritual perspective. They won’t be involving Christ or his word into the affairs and decisions of life. So it's like Paul is asking: what do we really have in common with them when what is most important to us is not at all important to them. Now, I don’t think this necessarily applies to someone who is open. But we still have to be careful because until they cross that threshold and become a true convert then there will still be issues of contention and difference. Trying to carry on a spiritually intimate relationship with an unbeliever will turn out to be spiritually sour.
• False fellowship.
1st John 1:1-7, “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete. This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”
John makes it clear that first and foremost our fellowship is with the Father and with Christ and sequentially with fellow believers like him. But, John needed to make something clear-that there were those who claimed to have genuine fellowship but in reality they did not. Perhaps these were people who thought they were Christians but weren’t because they didn’t truly surrender to the Lordship of Christ. Maybe they were people who liked the idea of salvation but disliked the idea of Lordship.
They could’ve been people who just liked the idea of belonging to the fellowship. They would see Christians interact and they looked happier and more content and they saw the love and generosity so they wanted in. But that is not good because although they might be happy being around Christians they are spiritually still on the outside looking in. They are experiencing an element of the fellowship but not experiencing the full capacity of the fellowship.
Perhaps they are Christians who think they’re tight with Jesus but in reality, since they’re walking in darkness, are not where they think they are. They are deceiving themselves thinking their fellowship is sweet when in fact it is sour.
• Poisonous fellowship.
1st Cor. 5:1-13, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth. I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.””
One misconception about equality and unity in the church is that it means everything is accepted and embraced. “We shouldn’t judge”. This is not true and this passage proves it. When there is sin in the church it needs to be addressed. And if someone wants to persist in their sin and they show that they aren’t interested in repenting then further action has to be taken. Paul is telling the church to disfellowship this person.
But won’t that make the situation worse? Won’t they feel abandoned? That’s the point. In a situation like this the person needs to see what it’s like to be apart from the fellowship so they could see the folly of their ways. And the hope is that they would come to their senses, repent and come back.
Paul’s concern was for the rest of the church too. This person’s behavior had already caused damage and if it continued to go unaddressed it would continue to destroy the church. Others would start to indulge in sinful behavior and soon you would have the whole church looking no different than the world around them. The one bad apple would soon spoil the rest and all their lives would be rotten and ruined. Poisonous fellowship is sour fellowship.
• Broken fellowship.
Psalm 55:12-14, “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.”
David is expressing deep angst over his close companion’s betrayal. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever enjoyed sweet fellowship with someone only to have that person later betray you? The sweet fellowship David expresses here is one that involves intimacy, perhaps shared secrets. So when this level of fellowship is broken is cuts much deeper. This is no mere acquaintance; this is a trusted friend. And not just a trusted friend, this is someone who went to the house of God with David. A friend’s betrayal is one thing but a Christian friend’s betrayal is something else altogether.
It is supposed that the person David is referring to here is Ahithophel. In 2nd Sam. 15 you can read about him becoming a traitor and conspiring with David’s son Absalom to overthrow King David and take the throne. Ahithophel was David’s trusted counselor. When David learned of the plot and of Ahithophel’s betrayal, he wept.
When we have a friend betray us whether it’s gossiping about us or plotting against us or abruptly cutting us off it hurts deeply and the wounds don’t heal overnight. David knew what it was like to be betrayed by a close friend. Jesus knew what it was like too when Judas betrayed him. Because Jesus knows how it feels he can minister to us when we go through it. Broken fellowship is sour fellowship.
2) Sweet fellowship.
• Fellowship with Christ.
In order to have sweet fellowship with one another there first has to be sweet fellowship between us and Christ. 1st Cor. 1:9, “God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”
Easton’s Bible Dictionary’s definition for fellowship with God, “consisting in the knowledge of his will; agreement with his designs; mutual affection; enjoyment of his presence; conformity to his image; and participation of his joyfulness.”
To have true, sweet fellowship with God we have to have the desire to know and be in agreement with his will. The love has to be there, the desire to be like him has to be there. We have to want to not just know his word but to know him. We need to honor his character. The communication has to be there. That’s where our prayer life comes in. We are spending time with him; worshipping, praising, calling out to him and being silent so we can listen to him. Sweet fellowship. We lean on him, we desire to please him, we acknowledge him in all our affairs.
Interestingly, part of our fellowship with Christ is what Paul calls the fellowship of sufferings. Phil. 3:10-11, “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”
Why would he want to have this type of fellowship? Sharing in the sufferings of Christ makes the fellowship with Christ that much sweeter because it makes us closer with him; it causes us to identify with him on a much deeper level. We care called to share our burdens with one another and to mourn with those who mourn. When we know our friend is going through something we sympathize with them. But when we go through something they went through or especially if we are going through it with them it deepens the bond we have with them. We appreciate them more. We see and feel their pain and it draws us closer to them. Paul wanted to experience the fellowship of sharing in the sufferings of Christ because he knew that would bring him closer to Christ. Sweet fellowship with Jesus.
• Fellowship with the church.
Have you ever been part of a group or club? It feels special doesn’t it? You have a sense of belonging. There is a bond; a brother or sisterhood. You come together under a common purpose. You build relationships and close friendships as a member of this group or club.
Have you ever been excluded from joining a group or club? Feels awful doesn’t it? You feel unwanted, unloved, unimportant-an outcast. Being ostracized can make you feel lonely and depressed.
Well, the church is no different. The church is an organization. It’s like a group or a club. There are some differences between the church and other clubs but there are also some similarities. Belonging to a church can give you the sense of belonging. Coming into the fellowship and having people greet you and welcome you can make you feel accepted. In the world there can be separation but in the church these barriers are removed and we are all on equal ground. And being on equal ground establishes the groundwork for unity and sweet fellowship.
That’s why we find what Paul says in Gal. 3:26-28, “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
In the world you find segregation. In the world you find people not associating with other people because of race or nationality, financial status or looks. But in the sweet fellowship of the church all of that dissipates because we are all one in Christ; we are all on equal ground. It’s not black and white, rich or poor, democrat or republican; it’s Christian.
Phil. 2:1-2, “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” If we are one in fellowship with Christ then we will be one in fellowship with fellow believers. And we will be about one purpose-glorifying God.
Jesus spoke of the purpose of unity in John 17:20-23, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
Jesus’ desire for his followers would be that they would enjoy the unity of fellowship that existed between him and the Father. But Jesus knew the only way that was going to be possible is if he was in them. Sweet fellowship can only happen if we have fellowship with Christ and fellowship with Christ can only happen through being born again so that the Spirit of Christ can come and take up residence in us. Christ wanted his followers to be unified so that the world would become convinced. When people see Christians who are different not only getting along but loving one another and serving one another it will make an impact on them.
Acts 2:42-47, “They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”
I guarantee one of the biggest reasons more were added to their number daily was because of the unity and love that was expressed in the church. That’s what sweet fellowship produces. People have fellowship in varying aspects-at work, at home, at events, etc. and none of these necessarily involve Christ. But, when they do involve Jesus, it is much sweeter. Church fellowship is sweet fellowship.
• The priority of fellowship.
Heb 10:25, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” How important is the fellowship to you? Does it bother you when you miss a Sunday or Wednesday?
Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor and theologian who was an enemy of the Nazis because he refused to go along with their state idea of a church that practiced the anti-semitism of the Nazis. In fact, he was a hunted man who upheld authentic Christian principles. As a part of the German underground he was not safe to worship openly. Bonhoeffer knew there was no other community and fellowship like that experienced within the Body of Christ. He said: "Baptism incorporates us into the unity of the Body of Christ, and the Lord’s Supper fosters and sustains our fellowship and communion in that Body". During the Nazi reign, Bonhoeffer was cut off from other believers, and it took a toll on him. Donald LaSuer says "Bonhoeffer’s painful discovery is instructive for us. Cut off from the nurturing fellowship of other Christians, he felt a deeper hunger for the fellowship that was no longer available to him. Like a hungry man who knows the taste of bread though he can no longer reach and break from the loaf, he knew the power of fellowship when it was painfully absent."
Fellowship is important. And it’s not just about coming together on Sunday and Wednesday, it’s about getting together outside of these times too. In fact, it’s at these times when true relationship building often happens. I know we can be busy with work and our families but we should try to set aside time to get together with fellow believers and enjoy sweet fellowship with them. Having spiritual fellowship is encouraging and helpful. We share experiences and learn from each other.
When we develop deep spiritual connections we can have accountability with one another and in that we can engage in confession, repentance and restoration. James 5:16 says to confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “He who is alone with his sins is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, not withstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final breakthrough to fellowship does not occur because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everyone must conceal his sin from himself and from their fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is we are sinners.”
We need to be a people who are humble and trustworthy so that other believers can feel safe coming to us with what they’re struggling with so that we can pray with them and help them overcome. In the sweet fellowship of the Spirit there is love and trust, accountability and confession, healing and restoration, renewed strength and growth. When Christ is at the center of the fellowship it’s the deepest, most meaningful fellowship there is. This is the community of faith. This is the value in coming together and loving one another, sharpening one another, helping one another to grow and mature in the faith. Our spiritual fellowship accomplishes the will and purpose of Christ. How sweet is that?
