Woman of Noble Character
Proverbs 31:10-31
May 14, 2023
You might remember the name Robert Fulghum - he wrote several best-selling books called . . . . All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Besides being an author, Fulghum used to be a Unitarian Universalist minister. In one of his books he told the story about one woman who said, "I’m bringing my mother to church on Mothers Day, and you can talk about anything you want. But it had better include mother and it had better be good." Ok.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are possibly 2 of the hardest days to preach on. Not that it’s necessarily difficult to talk in positive ways about moms and dads, men and women, but some of us have not had the greatest experiences, some have experienced grief trying to be parents, and some are experiencing the loss of a parent.
Generally, I talk about a man or woman from the Bible, or continue a series. This year, I wanted to talk about a passage from Proverbs 31.
In many Bibles this section is entitled, "A Wife of Noble Character." Many women, have a love-hate relationship with this passage. On the one hand it extols the virtues of godly womanhood, on the other hand, it’s been used to reinforce stereotypes that aren't always helpful. While this particular text highlights wives, I believe it applies to all women and men as well.
In fact, I wish there was a passage like this for men. The first verses states ---
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
This is the final chapter of the book of Proverbs, which is a book of wisdom. This final section embodies all the instruction that's been given in the first 30 chapters. The first 9 verses set the stage for this ending. They are words of a mother to her son, offering him wisdom for life.
Throughout the book, Wisdom is often personified as a woman — so it's a fitting way to conclude the book. The word "noble" includes the ideas of strength, character, and competence.
Because of her strength, character and competence, her husband is well-off. She provides him with what he needs for a good and productive life. Notice that she does this for him every day — "all the days of her life."
And this goes both ways. Whether it’s your wife or husband who’s walking with you, they should add to your character, not take away from it. That’s really important. Especially for you younger folks, when considering a mate, are they a believer, and will they enhance you, build you up, brighten your life? Those are important questions to be asking yourself.
Even though this verse speaks about a wife and husband, it has much broader application. We all have people in our lives for whom we have the opportunity to "do good" everyday — if not spouses, then parents, children, siblings, nieces, nephews, neighbors, even roommates. When we do those things, and do them well, it matters. We make a difference in the name of Jesus!
Let’s look at the rest of this passage - - -
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
WHEW! That’s exhausting!! If we did all of that everyday, we’d be exhausted and that’s why some people look at this passage in a negative light. But I believe there are way too many positives that come from this. And in the end, we’ll see the one verse which really matters. It is and should always be the driving force behind all men and women do.
And one other note - - - this is not a passage for men to use to control women. As Paul says in Ephesians 5, we’re to be mutually submissive to one another and seek to serve one another. OK, disclaimer is over.
So, what can we learn - - -
As I read over Proverbs 31 - - - 3 main thoughts / themes or prayers came to me. Firstly, my hope and prayer is that you’d have a great sense of self - worth.
Solomon begins this passage by saying...
10 A woman of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
The writer goes on to say that her husband, her family and the community will give her the honor she deserves, but my prayer is that first, before that happens — before others recognize and acknowledge your worth — that you will recognize and acknowledge it in yourself.
I pray you develop a sense of confidence in who you are and what God is doing through you. Ideally, in a perfect world, others will give you the credit you deserve. But we don't live in a perfect world. That guy you married isn't perfect. Even your parents aren’t, nor are you kids or friends. People around you may not always recognize your worth. But don’t let that knock you down.
During the seasons in which no one seems to notice all that you do, I hope that you will have a quiet confidence, a strong assurance, a sense of self-worth that you are God's woman, and you’re serving Him in a way that brings glory to God.
We all have a tendency to compare ourselves with others. These comparisons usually work against us. We can compare ourselves to over-achievers and to others who seem more accomplished or better looking or whatever. We all do this, but society's expectations on women can make these comparisons even more devastating. We've created an image of beauty that most women think they'll never attain; even when a super-model appears on the cover of a magazine, her image is photoshopped to make her unrealistically beautiful.
And we've developed this idea that a woman must have a career and a family and must be able to balance both. You’re the mom, the wife, the chauffer, the cook, the dishwasher, the disciplinarian, the tutor and you have to look sexy doing it all. That's not reality. It's an impossible ideal.
In an article from May 13, 1965, called The Good Wife's Guide, in Housekeeping Monthly Magazine. It said - - - -
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious dinner ready when your husband gets home from work. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned with his needs. Put on some make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh-looking. He's been with a lot of work-weary people. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash them up, brush their hair, and change their clothes if needed. Remember, they are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Have a cool or warm drink for him, and arrange his pillow and take off his shoes. Over the cooler months you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. After all, catering to his comfort will bring you immense satisfaction. Let him talk first. Remember that his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to relax.
OK, there’s your comedy relief. WOW! But those were the expectations. Times have changed. There’s some truth in there, basically, that last line, TRY to understand his world of strain and pressure. Yup . . . and that’s mutual as well.
I wouldn't want this passage of scripture to seem like just another list of unrealistic expectations to anyone. That's why my prayer is that as you approach this daunting task of being a godly woman in the 21st century, you’ll have a sense of self-worth and that self worth is knowing you are God’s child. That He loves you and you are definitely worth dying for. Trust in His promises of steadfast love.
Another thought and prayer is - - what’s written in verse 25 - - -
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
The New Living Translation says, "She laughs with no fear of the future." Women of faith, this is what I pray for you, that God will be at work in your life in such a way — and that you experience God’s blessings to such an extent — that you can look forward to tomorrow with joyful anticipation.
I know too many people who can't say this. There are too many people who live in dread of each day, and who live in fear of tomorrow because their life has become a series of one problem and one disaster and one crisis after another.
That's not the life that God envisions for you. He sent his Son into this world so that you might have life — life to the fullest. Jesus offers us eternal life, not just when we die, but today, it’s an offer for you to grab hold of, to live the abundant life.
A life of joy and passion and excitement. He wants to fill your life with joy that knows no limits and peace that passes all understanding. And He will, if you’re open to God’s filling.
My prayer is that you will have a sense of courage as you face the future. We don't know what the future holds — there are so many uncertainties — but when your life is sustained in the presence and power of God you can face the future with optimism. You can even laugh at the days to come.
The woman who is able to laugh at the days to come is the woman who takes initiative, who takes responsibility, who takes action. She is clothed with strength and dignity. This is not a woman who gets walked on. This is not a woman who easily accepts being treated with disrespect. This is a woman with a strong sense of who she is and who God made her to be.
The writer tells us about all she did. She worked hard, she made sure her family was taken care of. She took care of it all, plus paid the bills and bought land. She was active and more than anything she trusted in God.
She knew God was present. She didn’t work for rewards, she worked as a way to serve the Lord. Anything and everything she did was to bring honor and glory to God and when we do that, it transfers to every member of our family.
So, my hope is that you can laugh at the days to come because you’ve gained from God, and have the strength and dignity required to face the future with courage. A final hope and prayer is that - - - you will receive the honor you deserve.
Now, that’s kind of a loaded statement, because we talk about doing everything for God and not for public recognition. But listen to these words of wisdom - - -
28 Her children arise and call her blessed.
Ladies, my prayer is that people in your lives will give thanks for who you are. Not just today, but every day. Not just in words, but their actions will mirror yours, and they can give thanks for you as a powerful person in their lives. My prayer is that you receive the honor you deserve for who you are, not for what you’ve done. Verse 28 continues - - -
28 Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Do you remember The Honeymooners? There were so many episodes in which Ralph would stumble his way through some kind of foolishness and Alice would forgive him for his stubbornness, and at the end of the show he would take her in his arms and say, "Baby, you're the best." Now, I wouldn't wish Ralph Kramden on any of you, but I do hope the people in your life have enough sense to tell you this from time-to-time: you're the best. The final verse says - - -
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
It is my prayer that the contributions you make to your family, to your job, to your ministry, and to the community are displayed, as it were, at the city gate — so that people can recognize the value of your accomplishments. And those accomplishments outlive you — that for generations to come, people can see the difference you've made by the way you lived.
I don't know if you'll receive the honor you deserve this side of heaven. Some don't. But I pray that you will experience a sense of contentment with what you’ve accomplished in this life, knowing that God recognizes and appreciates everything you've done — even when others fail to mention it.
So, what’s the driving force behind this woman of noble character? I believe it comes in the second to last verse and it’s easy to miss. Because without it, we fall into a works righteousness way of living. This verse tells us - - - -
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31
It’s a reminder that when we try to look good, as much as I hate to say it, charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, except on Debbie. She’s still got it! I know, shameless plug! But it’s the second part that is most important - - -
30 A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
That’s it!! That’s the focus of everything we do. Women! Men! Kids! Whatever you do, you do it as if you are doing it for the Lord. Fear the Lord! Not a cowering fear, but a healthy fear and reverence.
To be reverent means you have deep respect and awe. You don’t hold it in, you show it. This woman of noble character showed her fear and reverence of the Lord by the way she lived her life. It was evident in all she did. It was evident in the way she cared for the poor and needy, the way she cared for her family and servants. It was evident in how she loved others.
She didn’t sacrifice her identity, instead, she allowed God to fill her with the power of His presence and power. And that will always, always make you a man, woman and child of noble character . . .
And when that day comes and we celebrate your life, we may not always remember all of your accomplishments, we may not always know if you had more wins than losses, but we will know and we will recognize and celebrate that you were a person of noble character!!
