Can We Talk?
Various Scriptures
(June 17, 2001)
Introduction
A man working in the produce department was asked by a lady if she could buy half a head of lettuce. He replied, "Half a head? Are you serious? God grows these in whole heads and that’s how we sell them!"
"You mean," she persisted, "that after all the years I’ve shopped here, you won’t sell me half-a-head of lettuce?"
"Look," he said, "If you like I’ll ask the manager."
She indicated that would be appreciated, so the young man marched to the front of the store. "You won’t believe this, but there’s a lame-braided idiot of a lady back there who wants to know if she can buy half-a-head of lettuce."
He noticed the manager gesturing, and turned around to see the lady standing behind him, obviously having followed him to the front of the store. "And this nice lady was wondering if she could buy the other half" he concluded.
Later in the day the manager cornered the young man and said, "That was the finest example of thinking on your feet I’ve ever seen! Where did you learn that?" "I grew up in Grand Rapids, and if you know anything about Grand Rapids, you know that it’s known for its great hockey teams and its ugly women."
The manager’s face flushed, and he interrupted, "My wife is from Grand Rapids!" "And which hockey team did she play for?"
Folks, loose lips can get you in heap of trouble, amen?
This morning we are going to talk about talk.
Scripture has a lot to say about our speech. You could spend a lifetime just applying what the book of Proverbs says about speech.
Our time this morning will be spent on looking at a few aspects of speech, and my purpose is to encourage you to take a fresh look, or listen, if you will, to what comes out of your mouth.
I want to do that by focusing on three types of speech, going from worst to best. And the first of these is…
I. Harmful Speech
A couple of weeks ago we talked about how Peter refused to eat unclean animals when the vision of the sheet was given to him. And we looked at how Jesus, in declaring all foods clean, said that it wasn’t what a man puts in his mouth that makes him unclean, it’s what comes out that makes him unclean.
In this first section I want to discuss three types of harmful speech, but before we get into them, I want to point out the verse printed in your outline here.
Listen to James 1:26 -
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
If you call yourself a Christian, you need to be on guard with your speech, especially these three. The first is…
A. Gossip
I have told you previously how I feel about gossip. Don’t bother bringing it to me, because I will call you on it.
Here’s a definition of gossip: information that may or may not be true, but that is nobody’s business but the person the rumor is about.
Gossip comes in different forms – out and out rumor, inquiries about persons from people we think might have the “inside scoop” (“Do you know anything about such and such?), etc.
But to me, one of the most vicious forms of gossip comes from those who call themselves Christians. It goes something like this: “We really need to pray for so and so. I heard they are going through something bad like a divorce or something.”
Proverbs 16:28 says this: A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
The saying goes that talk is cheap. But I would say that the destruction of relationships to satisfy the cravings of a busybody is a hefty price to pay, don’t you think?
The second form of harmful speech we will look at today is…
B. Lying
A few years ago there was a series of commercials featuring a man wearing a flannel shirt and jeans who would be telling people how much he cared for them, often getting teary-eyed as he said with all the emotion he could muster, “I love you, man!”
And the person he was speaking to in that particular commercial, whether it was a girl, his dad, or whoever, would say, “You’re not getting my Bud Light.”
The commercials were funny, but they serve to illustrate the fact that these people could see through this guy’s self-serving talk.
He wasn’t interested in love, he was only interested in their beer, but he was willing to say anything to get it.
Folks, do we really need to spend a lot of time here? I don’t think so, but let me just say something here.
God is truth. Therefore, His followers need to be people of truth.
Put aside the fact that Scripture forbids it. The fact that God is truth is what should motivate us to be truthful.
We need to speak the truth, in love, at all times.
Let’s move on to the third form of harmful speech…
C. Cursing
You know this already, but a vocabulary consisting mainly of four-letter words and graphic descriptions of immoral activities has no place in the life of a Christian.
A foul mouth may endear you to your non-Christian friends (and I would sincerely doubt that anyway), but it does not endear you to God, and it gives a false impression of the cleansing Christ gives if our speech is no different than the world’s.
I think that is it is also appropriate to ask others to stop cursing in our presence, especially when it involves the name of our Lord.
While in college, I was in the college basketball pep band. One night, during the game, one of our players made some sort of mistake. I don’t remember what it was – maybe he missed a shot or something, I don’t know.
But the guy next to me shouted the name of Jesus Christ at the top of his lungs in anger.
I looked at him and calmly said, “You don’t have to shout, you know. He hears you okay without shouting.”
He looked at me like I was a little crazy, so I said, “Jesus Christ can hear you without your shouting His name.” He looked at me again, but he got the point.
A simple statement that you are hurt when people misuse the name of God goes a long way to making people think twice about their speech.
There are many other types of harmful speech we could look at, but time won’t allow it, so let’s move on to a more positive note…
II. Helpful Speech
Helpful speech looks to the good of others.
Here’s what Ephesians 4:29 says about this:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Helpful speech has at least three qualities, and the first is that it is…
A. Gentle
You’ve heard the phrase, “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.”
The idea is that sweet speech is more attractive than sour speech. And how true that is.
The hairs on the back of my neck just stand up on end when I see people I know are Christians get all upset at something and start yelling in public.
Maybe something is wrong with the meal you were just served, or maybe the cashier gave you the wrong change.
Big deal! Grow up!
I have found from personal experience that gentleness goes a lot farther to correcting a situation than yelling.
A bit of confession here. I am learning that this is hardest in dealing with my kids. God is helping me, but I have a long way to go.
Gentleness not only helps us control our outburst, it helps when others blow up at us.
Proverbs 15:1 says that a gentle answer turns away wrath.
Believe me, it is true.
I wish that everyone in high school and college should be required to read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Next to Scripture, it is one of the best books ever written about relationships and the power of speech in nurturing them.
Gentleness is part of helpful speech. Another aspect of helpful speech is that it is…
B. Instructive
Helpful speech goes beyond criticizing when someone does something wrong. It offers a helping hand.
By the way, helpful speech is not critical in the first place.
Don’t just complain, offer to help the person. It will help you both, and will honor the person needing the help.
When someone opposes you, the Scripture says we are to gently instruct them, in the hopes that God will grant them repentance leading to life.
Wow! Gently instructing them is a far cry from shouting at them about their mistakes or errors.
If we took that seriously, it would open many doors to sharing the gospel with people who currently oppose Christianity.
The third type of helpful speech I want to look at this morning is…
C. Edifying
To edify means to build up. Helpful speech builds up others.
Maybe they need some encouragement. Maybe they need some gentle correction. Whatever. They need someone to come alongside and build them up.
I don’t mean filling them with false praise and flattery. I mean honest encouragement.
Remember, the goal is to see the person built up.
Look again at our verse for this section:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
If you feel the need to bring up an area needing change in a person, keep in mind the goal: building up the other person.
I want to now move on to the third area of speech,…
III. Holy Speech
By holy speech I don’t mean always speaking in Biblical terms.
“Well, brother, how goest thou this fine day, which the Lord hast made, for which we shall rejoice and be glad?”
“It goeth so well, my fine Christian sibling saint, that I canst even imagine the glories prepared for us in heaven when we depart this mortal soil and look into the face that shall wipe away every tear.”
Here’s the translation: “How’s it going, man? Fine.”
What I mean is talking in ways that point people to a relationship with Christ and the wonders of that relationship.
Psalm 63:6 says this:
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
Our lips should glorify God. And I want to point out three ways we can do that. The first is…
A. Praise
You know what? I get a kick out of telling people about God and how wonderful He is.
I also love praising Him in prayer.
Tell Him how great He is – He loves it. If you need a starting place, just read the Psalms. It’s filled with example after example of praise to God.
We can’t get enough of it. And here’s something great. Scripture says that God inhabits the praise of His people.
We can enter the presence of God with our praise.
Take some time to praise Him today.
The second type of holy speech I want to cover is…
B. Testimony
We are not all evangelists. But if you know Christ as your Savior, you have a testimony.
Maybe God didn’t bring you from a life of wild living like he did for me.
But you still can tell people that once you were lost and now you are found. Once you were a sinner and now you are a sinner saved by grace. Once you were an enemy of God, and now you are His child.
You can sing along with Bill Gaither when he said, “He touched me, and oh the joy that floods my soul. Something happened and now I know, He touched me, and made me whole.”
You have a testimony about how God granted you forgiveness and eternal life in Christ, and this leads me to the last area of holy speech we will look at this morning, and that is…
C. Witnessing
The most basic definition of witness for our time this morning is taking the opportunities given us to share the Good News of life in Christ.
Learn some of the basic Bible verses about how a person can have the assurance of heaven when they leave this world.
Tell someone that Jesus came to save them from the penalty we all deserve, and that heaven is theirs for the asking.
Tell someone that they are valuable in God’s eyes – so valuable that God sent not an angel, not an animal, not a good man, but His own Son, to suffer a horrible death so that God could enjoy their company in heaven forever.
Folks, get used to telling people the Good News. They need to hear it, and we need to tell them.
Let’s wrap this up, shall we?
Conclusion
I don’t know about you, but I think there’s enough harmful speech going around.
So why don’t we do something about it? Let’s start making a concerted effort to yield our tongues to the Lord and let His Spirit control our speech.
Look for opportunities to offer helpful speech and holy speech. You’ll be amazed at how often you can make a difference in someone’s life, and how it can lead to sharing the good news of Christ.
And I want to give you an open invitation to hold me accountable in this, esp. in how I talk to my children.
You are free to gently instruct me in better avenues of communication.
And I want the same freedom from you to gently instruct you in ways to communicate.
Take the higher ground in your speech.
We will all be better for it, and more importantly, the Lord will be honored and His kingdom will advance.
To God be the glory.
Please stand as we sing our closing hymn, #277 Higher Ground.
