SEX & LIES
What do Bill Clinton, Shane Warne and I/you have in common? It’s not our cricketing prowess - after all, Bill has probably never played the game.
We all smoke - that certainly qualifies as an addiction and so fits in with the theme of this weekend, but it’s not what I have in mind, either. Bill prefers cigars.
The thing we have in common - and I reckon each of us here today fits into the category - is that we’ve all lied to cover our stupidity and our sin. With Bill, it was about Monica Lewinsky - "I did not have sex with that woman." Technically he was telling the truth. Realistically and morally everyone knows it was far from the truth. Shane Warne lied over recent events in London - about how he met Donna Wright and who said and did what to whom first. I am still amazed by his statement that he wouldn’t have done it if he knew it would get into the papers. What a role model!
The connection between these two incidents is that both guys initially lied, and when that didn’t satisfy people’s curiosity, they stretched the truth. And finally the stories came out - yet neither guy was repentant - only remorseful because they got caught!
My story is, thankfully for all concerned, a little tamer - which I take some comfort in, but it was still lying and so it is tepid comfort. Many years ago, I was caught speeding in South Australia. I was exceeding the limit substantially on a dual carriageway out of Adelaide. The offence was such that it needed to go to court. Being a good boy, I wanted to spare my parents from any concern they may have and so I didn’t tell them what had happened. The reality was that I didn’t want to tell them what an imbecile they had for a son. Anyway, when I returned to Sydney I contacted the NRMA legal department and sought their advice. That advice arrived a few days later in an envelope. Dad enquired what was in the envelope and I replied that I had rung them up to get some information about different types of cars.
So far so good. But it all came undone when I was at work one day and members of the NSW Police Force arrived on our doorstep. Mum was in the shower at the time and so, dressed in a towel, she was presented with a summons for me to appear in court in Adelaide a few weeks later. Being wise, and because I had nowhere to run, the story came out and it was a fairly expensive lesson in several ways.
If none of these stories strike a cord with you, feel free to leave now since you don’t need to hear the rest of this talk. If you can identify with some of these situations then I’d like to explore them a little more deeply.
But what’s that got to do with the theme for this weekend which has been "What the Bible has to say about Addiction". Let me say/reiterate that the one addiction we all suffer from is the one called "sin". We all do it. We do it naturally. We do it wilfully. But God has a remedy for our sin - it’s called death. But until we get there, how do we handle sin, and how do we mitigate or minimise its effects on others and us. I’m not asking how we get away with it.
Bill Clinton’s sin captivated a nation or two. Shane Warne’s was headlines for a few days as the story unfolded. Yet a few things are obvious from these accounts and as you reflect on your own lives:
- Sin has consequences - whether we can see them or not.
- Trying to hide our sin usually has more consequences.
DAVID, BATHSHEBA, URIAH & NATHAN
I want us to briefly look at a few passages from the Bible about sin, its consequences, and attempts to hide it. Then we’ll take a look at confession and its effects.
We’re probably familiar with this story to a greater or lesser extent. It’s about a guy called David who happened to be a king. It involves a woman call Bathsheba who happened to have a husband called Uriah. And there’s a bloke called Nathan who was a prophet. It’s a sordid and tragic episode!
Turn with me to 2 Samuel 11 verse 1: "In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army." Here’s a problem. David was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He should have been with his army, but instead he was at home and had sent Joab out to do David’s job.
Verse 2: "One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her." Here’s the second problem. It’s not that David saw a beautiful woman, it’s that he obviously kept looking at her and then sent someone to find out who she was. We all see beautiful woman. The key is to only glance, look away and put them out of your mind. Job has some great advice on this subject in Job 31:1, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." David didn’t heed Job’s wise advice.
David & Bathsheba had sex and she became pregnant. And then David’s problems go from bad to worse. David was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He did the wrong thing. And then he tried to cover it up - not out of concern for Bathsheba’s, or his child that she was carrying, nor for the sake of her husband, Uriah the Hittite, but for the sake of his own reputation. He was an important man, he was a king and he didn’t need any skeletons in his closet - even though he had put it there a few days before.
Verse 6: "So David sent this word to Joab: ’Send me Uriah the Hittite.’ And Joab sent him to David. When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going." Here’s the next problem - David sent for Uriah the Hittite on the false pretence of determining how the war was going. In fact he’d called Uriah home so Uriah could sleep with Bathsheba so that no one apart from David, Bathsheba and God would know it was David’s child that Bathsheba was carrying.
Verse 9: "But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master’s servants and did not go down to his house." Now Uriah was obviously a devoted soldier and exceptional man. Whilst on leave from the front line, he stayed on duty rather than go home to his wife. David’s plan A hasn’t worked, and so he evolves plan B - unfortunately for Uriah. Plan B was revealed in a note David wrote to Joab in verse 15: "’Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.’"
Notice how deep David is digging himself. He’d been at home when his army was off fighting. He’d committed adultery. He’d called the woman’s husband back on false pretences, and then - because his back wasn’t covered, he’d planned to have this guy killed. David was an adulterer and had conspired in murder. David had sought relief from his guilt by covering up his sin, but it got worse and worse. And you know what? The same happens to us!
Uriah was killed, then from verse 27: "After the time of mourning was over, David had (Bathsheba) brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD."
I reckon David thought he was in the clear by this stage. Uriah was dead, Bathsheba had married David and she had a son. But there was one last hurdle to be overcome - God.
We pick up from chapter 12, verse 1. In this section, Nathan who is a prophet comes to David and tells him a story about a rich man, a traveler and a poor man. The rich man puts on a feed for the traveler, but rather than use one of his own animals, the rich guy slaughters the poor guys lamb which is almost a part of the family. Nathan describes the animal as being like a daughter. According to 2 Samuel 12:5, "David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, ’As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.’ Then Nathan said to David, ’You are the man!’"
Can you imagine David’s face at this point? Absolute incredulity and fear and guilt - all at once. A stunned mullet with the hook in its mouth.
And now God’s wrath and judgement is pronounced (from verse 8): "I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own."
There are some very significant things in there: Firstly we hear God saying, "And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more". It wasn’t too little; David was greedy and envious despite his position. Secondly, David despised the word of the Lord. He did evil in God’s eyes and David despised God in killing Uriah and marrying Bathsheba. That’s a strong indictment. It all started with a walk on the roof and giving in to temptation. David’s situation had snowballed as he tried to cover up his sin but now it’s all out. The challenge for David was how to respond in the face of all this. Some people, when confronted with their guilt in this way would try to laugh it off. Some would probably try to kill Nathan, too. Others would contemplate suicide.
But David finally gets a clue in verse 13: "Then David said to Nathan, ’I have sinned against the LORD.’ Nathan replied, ’The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die.’"
And we see in verse 18 that the child did indeed die on the seventh day - the day before it would have been circumcised.
As we reflect on those verses briefly, let me reiterate that:
- David was in the wrong place.
- He gave in to the temptation.
- He lied in bringing Uriah back from the battle.
- He tried to deceive Uriah on two successive nights.
- When that failed, he conspired to murder.
- He thought he was in the clear following the shotgun marriage.
- But Nathan confronts David who is trapped by his own words.
- God is very displeased and pronounces judgement upon David and the house of Judah.
- David finally realises he’s sinned.
- The child dies.
It is a tragic account of one man’s fall from blessing to judgement. And it’s a story that has been repeated countless times through the years with equally tragic consequences.
PSALM 51
But something good came out of the whole sordid episode. It is Psalm 51. It was the Psalm David wrote after being confronted by Nathan. Whilst his heart would have been relieved from no longer having to keep a secret, something else was weighing it down - the realisation that he had betrayed God.
Turn with me to Psalm 51. Notice the preface reads, "A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba." Let’s hear what he says [read Psalm 51]
David finally got it right - though the consequences of his actions remained.
That Psalm is one of the great examples of confession in the Bible. It says a lot of things we need to take to heart - too many to discuss now. You have a copy to read, think about and drawn on. But there are a number of things in particular that I want to highlight from that Psalm:
The first words are important, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love." David realises he can only proceed because God is a God of mercy and unfailing love. There are no other grounds upon which we have any right to approach God.
Verse 4 is significant, "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." Whilst our sin can and does harm others, it is ultimately God whom we are offending through our sin. We need to confess our sin to God and ask for his mercy. It’s certainly not something that comes with our sinful nature, and perhaps more so because we are men. But it is something we need to do - to admit our sin and our failure. This may come as a shock to you, but we don’t deserve God’s mercy. It is something granted to us purely through God’s grace. Unearned and unmerited. Deep down, I think I’m OK, but deeper down, I know I’m not.
If you’re interested, hyssop which is mentioned in verse 7 is a herb and was used in purification rituals, in some sacrifices and at Passover.
Thirdly verse 12, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Our salvation is meant to be a joy. If it isn’t, then I believe our lives are lacking something that can sustain us. A lack of joy is something we need to reflect upon and talk about with each other and to seek to have joy restored.
Finally, verse 13, "Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you." David hits upon the idea of repentance and change. He turns the negative into the positive. Rather than sinning and sinning again, David sees the imperative for change. Somehow each of us must go beyond the confession and the forgiveness and experience a change in our lives. It is repentance - not remorse for getting caught, but a preparedness to change. Like the woman caught in adultery in John 8 where Jesus tells her, "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Forgiveness makes no demand upon our past because we can’t change the past. But it places a heavy demand on the future. There has to be a change. Without repentance, without change, forgiveness is not a reality. Forgiveness without repentance is not forgiveness.
FINAL STEPS
So what can we take home from 2 Samuel and Psalm 51? There are a few things (which are on the back of the sheet you’ve got).
- Avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Only you know what the wrong place or the wrong time is for you.
- Another important aspect is to have the courage to suggest to someone else that they may be in the wrong place at the wrong time - not to make you feel better than them, but out of a concern to see them grow in Godliness.
- As soon as you catch yourself stretching the truth, stop and ask yourself why you’re doing it. Is it to cover up something you did but shouldn’t have, or something you should have done but haven’t? I’m not saying that all sins are concealed by lies - because we can sin without needing to lie, and we can lie without trying to conceal anything. But I reckon it holds water a lot of the time.
- Remember that sin has consequences. Sin leads to more sin. Even if you will never get found out, remember that God knows your heart. Yet God’s remedy is called confession and its consequences are even more significant - it is called forgiveness.
- If you are in the middle of a lie at the moment, caught in sin can I encourage you to confess it and to turn away from it. If you don’t think you can do it alone, or you’d like advice or prayer from someone else, find someone else. It may be someone here who you respect and trust, it may be someone else - it doesn’t matter. The important thing is to confess it, repent and move on.
Despite the fact that we are men, and despite the fact that we live in an enlightened age, remember that:
- We all need God’s forgiveness.
- We all need God’s mercy and grace.
- We need to understand how to confess our sin and our weakness and our failing.
- We each need to go before the cross and ask for that forgiveness.
- We each need to understand the price God paid to be able to do that for us.
- We need to repent, to change, and to grow in Christlikeness.
- And we each need to tell others how and where that forgiveness can be found.
Psalm 51 is, in a sense, the redemption of 2 Samuel 11 and 12. The Psalm highlights the escape route for our sin. Not to cover it up, but to confess it and receive the forgiveness we each need to overcome the greatest addiction we have.
I reckon we need to pray:
Heavenly Father,
We need you; we need your Son. Thank you for your unfailing love that has been demonstrated to us when you sent your Son to die in our places.
Show us if we’re where we should be, and give us to courage to challenge and support each other.
Help us to realise that our sin is offensive to you. Give us a greater understanding of how we sin so that we can avoid it. Prompt us when we start to manipulate the truth that there may be sin in our lives that offends you.
Help us to be able to confront our nature and to confess it to you and to seek your mercy.
We ask that when we confess our sins, we will be able to turn away from those things - that we will change our behaviour and our attitude to become more like your Son.
Father restore to us the joy of your salvation so that those around us will know we are different - that we have hope in something other than ourselves. And give us the courage to tell them of the love and the mercy and the forgiveness that is found in you.
Father we ask these things in the name of your great Son, Jesus.
Amen
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© Gary Bennett August, 2000
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version.
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission.
