WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
Acts 15:1-2, 36-41
INTRO.- Do people ever disagree? Do Christians ever disagree? What a question! Of course, they do. All people disagree at times.
ILL.- Two boys were fighting and one was on top of the other. Finally, the mother of the boy who was on top came out and called her son. He hit the boy on the bottom a few more times and then spit in his eye.
His mother said to him, “Why do you fight all the time? IT MUST BE THE DEVIL IN YOU.” After a little thought, the boy replied, “It may be the devil in me that makes me fight, but spitting in that guy’s eye was my own idea.”
Brethren, we live in a world of discontent, and I really believe that most of it is the devil’s fault. He is a liar, a deceiver, and a troublemaker. He is out to cause trouble for people anyway he can. And if he can get people to quarrel and fight with one another, then he will. He will use every dirty tool he can think of to cause wars, fighting and discontent.
Disagreement and discontent are everywhere in the world.
ILL.- A very wealthy man was dying and decided to face up to the fact. He called his attorney to his bedside and after telling his wife not to cry, he started to dispose of all his worldly possessions.
“I want to leave my Cadillac to my son George.” His wife Bertha interrupted and said, “You should leave it to Joe. He’s a better driver and he’ll take care of it.” “Okay,” the man said.
He went on, “I want to leave my Rolls Royce to my daughter, Linda.” His wife Bertha interrupted again and said, “You’d be better off to leave it to the your nephew Willie.” “All right,” he said, “I will leave my Rolls Royce to my nephew Willie instead of my daughter, Linda.”
He went on, “And I leave my Volvo to my niece, Sally. She is such a sweetheart.” Again, his wife Bertha interrupted and said, “I think Judy should get it.”
Unable to take it any longer, the man said, “BERTHA, PLEASE, WHO’S DYING? YOU OR ME?”
Yes, husbands and wives often disagree. And even on the deathbed, some married couples will never agree.
ILL.- A teenage daughter was talking to her dad as the boom box was playing her loud music. She said to her dad, “Did you ever hear any music as good as that?” Her dad replied, “Yeah, only once when two trucks collided and one exploded.”
Do parents and their children ever disagree? What I want to know is: DO THEY EVER AGREE ON ANYTHING?
ILL.- A salesman said that he’d only gotten three orders for an entire week’s worth of work, and they came from his boss: GET OUT. STAY OUT. AND DON’T COME BACK.
Is there ever disagreement in the workplace? Between the boss and the employees? Between the employees and the employees? Of course. All the time.
Not only is there disagreement in the home and in the work place, but also, in almost every place you can think of! Disagreements even happen in the church!
ILL.- The evangelist was preaching when suddenly a heckler in the audience shouted, “Listen to him! His father used to drive a wagon led by a donkey.”
“That’s right,” said the evangelist, “and today my father and the wagon are gone. BUT I SEE WE STILL HAVE THE DONKEY WITH US.”
Do Christian people ever disagree about ministers and other matters in the church? Why, of course, they do.
I Cor. 1:10-11 “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you.”
QUARRELING. I would say that is definitely a sign of disagreement.
In every church I’ve served or known about there have been disagreements among church members and leaders and ministers. And disagreements aren’t so bad. It’s when people become disagreeable that things get bad!
I’ve always heard it said that there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, but when we become disagreeable in our attitude and speech, it’s then that we have a real problem!
In our text of Acts 15, we read that even the apostle Paul experienced some disagreements with others. One disagreement had to do with a principle and the second had to do with an opinion.
1- A disagreement over a principle
Acts 15:1-2 “Some men came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the brothers: ‘Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved.’ This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them.”
Paul disagreed with some legalistic Christians over Gentile converts. Some Jewish converts to Christianity were saying that the Gentile converts had to be circumcised according to the O.T. law in order to be saved. PAUL HAD A SHARP DISPUTE AND DEBATE WITH THEM.
The spirit of legalism is still with us today and in some ways may be worse today than in Paul’s time.
ILL.- “You’re minister, huh?” asked a man.
The preacher said, “Yes, I am.”
“What church?”
“Baptist.”
“Oh, you’re the narrow-minded bunch that believes only their group is going to make it to heaven.”
“Well,” he went on, “I’m even more narrow minded than that. I don’t think all of our group are going to make it!” THAT’S THE SPIRIT OF LEGALISM!
That’s the spirit that says, “I’m right and you’re wrong. And if you don’t agree with me you’re damned.”
No church has all the right answers. We don’t know everything. We don’t have all the answers.
To say that we’re right and others are wrong and are going to hell is wrong. That’s legalism!
Here’s another example.
ILL.- Preacher Chuck Swindoll tells about a youth minister who showed his youth group a missionary film. About an hour later a group of church leaders called that youth minister and asked what he had done. They asked, “Did you show the young people a film?” He replied, “Well, yeah, I did.” “We don’t like that,” they replied.
Without trying to be argumentative, the youth minister reasoned, “Well, I remember that at the last missionary conference, our church showed slides.”
One of the church leaders said, “If it’s still, it’s fine. If it moves, it’s sin!” THAT’S LEGALISM!
People ask me questions all the time about various things in the church. And if the Word of God is not clear-cut about it, I often say, “I’m in sales, not in management.”
In other words, “I don’t run the show. God does.” None of us have all the answers. No one person is right about everything and every issue and this is why we must not become legalistic about things.
2- A second disagreement that Paul had was over an opinion Acts 15:36-40
Paul and Barnabas disagreed over whether or not to take Timothy with them on their missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to take Timothy and Paul didn’t want to because he had deserted on them on another trip.
Acts 15:39 “They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company...”
What do you think of that?
It’s almost hard to believe that Paul had such a disagreement that he and Barnabas had to part company. And it was all over a matter of opinion. Disagreements over matters of opinion are a major problem in many churches, but it shouldn’t be that way.
ILL.- Here’s another example of two Christians who disagreed over the music in their church. One said, “You know, I think when we worship on Sunday morning, we shouldn’t clap because Sunday morning ought to be a time of reverence.”
The other Christian said, “No, I think Sunday morning ought to be a time of joy and rejoicing in the Lord.”
“Well,” the first man said, “The Bible says God’s house is to be a house of prayer.”
“Yes,” said the other man, “But the Bible also says that Sunday is a time of celebrating the resurrection of Christ.”
“Yes,” the first man said, “The Bible also says ‘be still and know that I am God.’”
The other man said, “It also says, ‘make a joyful noise unto the Lord.’”
Brethren, who was right and who was wrong? They were both right, but to become disagreeable over their opinion was wrong.
Your opinion is no more important than mine. And opinions are just opinions, but some people see their opinion as being gospel truth. And that opinion is bound to cause disagreement anywhere or in any church.
What can be done about disagreements in the church? Or what about disagreements among Christians?
PROP.- Consider some lessons about disagreement.
1- Disagreements are inevitable
2- Disagreements are dangerous
3- Disagreements are solvable
I. DISAGREEMENTS ARE INEVITABLE
Disagreements are going to happen. It’s human nature to disagree with one another at times because we are different people! We are made out of the same stuff, dirt, but we are different people in spirit, attitude, thinking, etc.
ILL.- Someone said, “Herein lies the difference between the sexes: When a couple is supposed to go somewhere, the woman’s first thought is: WHAT SHALL I WEAR?
“And the man’s first thought is: HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS?”
ILL.- A naive Christian married couple both believed that because they loved each other and they loved the Lord, they were going to live in peace and never have a disagreement or an argument. And they soon discovered, it didn’t work that way! The longer they were married, the more they disagreed and the more they argued.
The wife was really disturbed. She didn’t believe in divorce, so finally one day she said to her husband, “Honey, let’s just pray to the Lord that He will take one of us home and then I’ll go live with my mother!”
DISAGREEMENT IS INEVITABLE! We are different people. And just as there is a difference in male and female, there is also a difference in all of us.
ILL.- Wade Cunningham is the second son of EJ and Faye. HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT THERE IS A DISTINCT DIFFERENCE WADE AND ME? There are several obvious differences. He’s about 6’ 7” and I’m about 5’ 7”. He’s 25 years old and I’m about 58 years old. He’s an Arkansan and I’m a Missourian. He can sing very well and I can sing certain songs on certain days!
Disagreements are inevitable because we are different people. We have different backgrounds. Different upbringing. Different ages. Different parents. Different interests (except for the Lord and His church). Different abilities and talents. This means we will not see eye-to-eye on everything in life! We will disagree!
Another way to look at it is this: We will disagree because we are either “right” or “unright.” Huh?
“Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. He said to them, ‘It is written, My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers.’” Matt. 21:12-13
Jesus had a disagreement with the money changers in the temple. BUT JESUS WAS RIGHT AND THEY WERE “UNRIGHT.” Jesus was “righteous” and they were “unrighteous.”
Jesus was thinking about pleasing His Father and they were thinking about pleasing themselves.
Generally, disagreements come for these two reasons: Either because we are “right” or because we are “unright.”
Either because we are doing what is right in God’s eyes or else we are doing what is wrong in God’s eyes.
WE ARE EITHER RIGHTEOUS OR SELFISH. Both will cause disagreements among people.
Which causes you to disagree with people? Most of the time, I think we disagree with other people because we are selfish, because we want our way, not particularly we are right.
Disagreements are inevitable. We are human. We are different. And many times, we are selfish.
II. DISAGREEMENTS ARE DANGEROUS
Disagreements are dangerous or can be dangerous. Why? Because they can often lead to some other things which are not good.
Eph. 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
When we disagree with people, if we are not careful and cautious, this disagreement can lead to anger. And disagreement can lead to uncontrolled anger, which opens the door to the devil.
The devil can use almost anything in our lives as a tool, AND ANGER IS ONE OF HIS BETTER TOOLS!
James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Can’t get much plainer than that. Man’s anger is often or most of the time, not pleasing to God. In anger, we often sin. In anger, we often hurt. In anger, we often do things we would not normally do. And they are not good things. And disagreements can lead to anger, which is just one letter short of “danger.”
ILL.- I worked for Safeway grocery stores back in the early 1960’s in Joplin, MO. There was a Mormon boy who also worked in the same store where I worked. We often talked about religion, the Bible, Christianity, and Christian principles.
I was a new Christian and very zealous for Christ and His Word. I often tried to prove from the Bible my position or why I believed “thus and so.” Before either of us realized it, our disagreements turned into arguments. And one day, it got pretty “hot and heavy.” We were in the backroom talking, and our disagreement led to an argument. BEFORE LONG IT LOOKED LIKE WE WERE GOING TO GET INTO A FIST FIGHT.
Finally, we sort of “cooled down” and that Mormon boy left the backroom and I went about my business, working with the stock which was stacked on pallets. Suddenly, I had a great cooling sensation go through my body and over my whole body. YOU SEE, THAT MORMON BOY HAD FILLED A LARGE BUCKET FULL OF COLD WATER AND DUMPED IT OVER MY HEAD!
Brethren, disagreements are dangerous. They can be dangerous.
What if that incident had happened in our day and time? It is highly possible that boy might have went to his car, got a gun and shot me to death. It happens all the time nowadays. Disagreements can be dangerous. They can be very dangerous. BE AWARE OF WHAT CAN HAPPEN. Be cautious. Back off. Beg mercy...that is, from the Lord.
1- Disagreements are inevitable
2- Disagreements are dangerous
III. DISAGREEMENTS ARE SOLVABLE
Disagreements can be solved. There is a solution to them. There is a way to overcome them.
ILL.- "Here’s the scenario," the instructor announced to his class of novice truck drivers. "You’re in an 18-wheeler with a heavy load, barreling down a mountainous two-lane highway. Ed, your co-driver, is asleep. There are six trucks behind you, and as you come over the top of a hill, they pull out beside you to pass. Suddenly, you see several trucks coming in the opposite direction, pulling into your lane to pass. What did you do?"
"That’s simple," a student called out. "I’d wake up Ed."
"Why would you do that?" asked the instructor.
"Because," replied the student, "Ed ain’t never seen a truck wreck like this before!"
Brethren, most things are solvable if we use our heads and look to the right source for help. Most disagreements can be solved if we do what is right, that is, work at making peace, not war. Work at being patient, not intolerant.
One of the solutions is simply to learn to compromise.
ILL.- Bob Russell who preaches at the large Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY, said one time, “When my wife and I were first married, she wanted to put up the Christmas tree two weeks before Christmas. To me, that was sacrilegious, because in my home we always put up the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve! We argued about that and finally, we came to a compromise. My wife put up the Christmas tree two weeks before Christmas Eve, BY HERSELF!”
Compromise or making concessions is not a matter of weakness. It is a strength in people.
I Cor. 13:5 LB “Loves does not always demand its own way.”
We of all people need to learn to compromise with one another, get along with one another, work at this peace-business, and be less judgmental toward one another.
Rom. 12:18 “If it possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you. Don’t worry about the other person: “He, she..” You do what is right. You humble yourself and do the peaceable thing.
II Tim. 2:24 “And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone....”
Disagreements are solvable through practicing patience.
ILL.- There are times when people come to me as a minister and want to talk. They need someone to talk to, to listen to them, to perhaps help their burdens. And the first thing I generally tell them is this: “I am not here to judge or criticize you because whatever you have done in life, I’ve done worse!” AND NO, I WON’T TELL YOU WHAT I’VE DONE THAT’S WORSE!
But guess what? We’ve all done worse than others! Yes, you have! Don’t tell me you haven’t.
Matt.15:19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”
So you are better than other people! DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU’VE NEVER HAD ANY EVIL THOUGHTS OF ANY KIND?! If you haven’t done it, you’ve probably thought it!
Matt. 7:11 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” IF YOU, THEN, THOUGH YOU ARE EVIL.
Jesus said that we are essentially, basically, generally evil people! Do we dare question our Creator?!
Brothers and sisters, because we are basically evil, have done evil, have thought evil, we have no right to be judgmental toward one another. RATHER WE SHOULD BE PATIENT WITH ONE ANOTHER IN DISAGREEMENTS.
Disagreements are solvable. And we must work hard at finding just the right solution in order not to explode and hurt and kill.
CONCLUSION---------------------------------------
ILL.- Cliff Barrows is the man who used to sing for most of Billy Graham’s big evangelist conferences. He would sing songs like, “His Eye is on the Sparrow,” and often, lead the congregation in “Just As I Am.”
Cliff said one time, “There are twelve words that hold a family together....” In fact, we could say, these twelve words will hold a marriage together, a family together, a church together and most other relationships together.
These twelve words are: I WAS WRONG. I AM SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU. May God help us to put these words into practice and mean them. They will go a long way to improve life when we disagree with one another.
