1 Corinthians 7:10-16
When The Wrecking Ball Hits A Home (part 3)
Introduction
The Scofield Reference Bible. How many of you have either heard of it or perhaps even have a copy of it yourself? The Scofield Reference Bible is a study Bible that provides excellent helps such as introductory notes to each book of the Bible, maps, a concordance, a cross reference system, and footnotes that explain the meaning of verses. It’s a wonderful study tool.
I was introduced to the Scofield Reference Bible during my freshman year at Washington Bible College. Several of my professors recommended it, so I got a copy. It contained the King James translation of the Bible. And so this is the Bible I used throughout my college and seminary years.
When I graduated from seminary and got out into the ministry, the New King James Version appeared on the market. It updated the old, archaic language of the King James Version. And Nelson publishers soon put out the Scofield Reference Bible using the New King James translation. So this is the Bible I used for my years of teaching ministry before I came to Shiloh. Then when I came here to Shiloh, I knew you used the New International Version. And after being here a while, I eventually started using the NIV. I figured that it would be easier for me to switch to your translation of the Bible than it would be for all of you to switch to mine.
But I cut my spiritual teeth on the Scofield Reference Bible. And I used it for many years in ministry. But no matter what translation you use—the King James, New King James, New International, or whatever—they all teach the same thing in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16.
This morning is my third message in a three part series on divorce and remarriage. We noted last week that in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, Paul is addressing 3 groups.
The first group is found in verses 10 and 11. And it is Believers who are married to Unhappy Believers. In verse 10, Paul is referring to Christ’s teaching on divorce and remarriage as found in Matthew 19. There Jesus states God’s ideal and intended design for marriage: 1 man and 1 woman together for a lifetime. But in that same passage Jesus states an exception. Jesus permits divorce and remarriage in the case of marital unfaithfulness—sexual immorality.
In 1 Corinthians 7:10, Paul only states God’s ideal as presented by Christ. But Paul is a realist. And so in verse 11 he states a concession. If believers do divorce, they are to remain unmarried so they may be reconciled.
We pick up our study this week in verse 12 where Paul addresses a second group. He addresses Believers married to Unhappy Believers in verses 10-11. Now, in verses 12-14, Paul addresses Believers married to Happy Unbelievers.
Look at what Paul writes beginning in 1 Corinthians 7:12: “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
Paul starts out by saying, “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord).” Some liberal theologians claim that Paul is admitting that he is not speaking with divine authority—that his words are merely his opinion and not inspired Scripture. But that is not what Paul is saying here. In verse 10 Paul says, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord).” All Paul is saying is that he is not giving new revelation. He is simply reminding the Corinthians of what Jesus taught. But in verse 12 he says, “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord).” Here Paul says that he is giving new revelation. He is dealing with an issue that Jesus did not address. In Matthew 19, Jesus addressed the issue of believers married to believers. But Jesus did not address the issue of believers married to unbelievers. So, Paul here is speaking with divine authority. He is giving inspired instructions concerning an issue that Jesus did not address.
So, under the inspiration of the Spirit of God, Paul is giving instruction to Believers who are married to Happy Unbelievers. And Paul tells them …
1. IF THE UNBELIEVER IS CONTENT TO LIVE WITH YOU, THEN DON’T DIVORCE
Look at verses 12 and 13 again. “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.”
Now, why would believers even consider divorcing unbelieving spouses who are content in marriage? Well, the text doesn’t tell us. But perhaps they thought that they had an unholy union because they were unequally yoked to unbelievers. They were both unsaved at the time of their marriage, but since then one of them got saved and the other didn’t. So what should the believer do? Get a divorce from their unbelieving spouse?
Paul says no. Don’t divorce your unsaved husband or wife. And he gives this reason: The believer may have a positive, spiritual influence on their unbelieving mate. The unbeliever may get saved due to the believing spouse’s example and lifestyle. Verse 14: “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” I think this is what Peter had in mind as well when he wrote these instructions in 1 Peter 3: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
I think a perfect illustration of this is in the life of my in-laws—Harold and Dorothy Wills. When they got married, mom was a believer and dad was an unbeliever. And dad was content to stay married to mom so they never even considered divorce. Now, Dorothy was careful not to nag Harold with the gospel. She simply prayed for him, answered his questions about the Lord when he asked, and endeavored to live the Christian life in front of him. Finally, in 1987, after 48 years of marriage, at the age of 75, Harold Wills accepted the Lord as his Savior. And I’m convinced that my father-in-law is in heaven today because of the patient, faithful witness of his wife, Dorothy.
So let me encourage you. If you are married to an unbeliever and he or she is content to remain married to you, then don’t divorce. Share the gospel with your unsaved spouses. But don’t nag them with it. Rather, pray for them. And live an exemplary Christian life in front of them. Who knows? Maybe your example will eventually lead them to Christ.
In verses 15 and 16, Paul moves on to address a third group. And that group is Believers who are married to Unhappy Unbelievers. Paul tells them …
2. IF THE UNBELIEVER DESERTS, YOU ARE FREE TO REMARRY
Look at verses 15 and 16. “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
Paul once again is following the pattern of stating the ideal situation and then giving the concession. Back in verse 12 he states the ideal: “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.” Then in verse 15 he gives the concession: “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances.”
Now, why would an unbeliever want to divorce a believer? Well, it could be that they aren’t happy that their spouse got saved. Perhaps they were both unsaved when they got married. And they were involved in sinful activities together. Maybe they went out and got drunk together, or did drugs together. Maybe they were involved in swapping spouses or the occult. But then one of them gets saved and refuses to join their spouse in the sinful practices they used to enjoy together. And now the unbeliever says if you don’t knock off this Christianity nonsense and start living the way we used to live, then I’m out of here!
Paul says that if the unbeliever wants out of the marriage, then let him or her out. Because as Paul says at the end of verse 15, “God has called us to live in peace.”
Besides, Paul says, you can’t force your unbelieving spouse to get saved. Verse 16: “How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
And that is Paul’s teaching on the topic of divorce and remarriage. Now …
· I want to remind you that God’s ideal has been and always will be 1 man and 1 woman—leaving, cleaving, and weaving together for a lifetime.
· But divorce and remarriage is permitted in the case of sexual immorality.
· And in the case of abuse, believers may divorce. But they are to remain single. So that every effort may be made toward reconciliation.
· Now, when it comes to being married to an unbeliever, if they are content to remain married to you, don’t divorce. But if they desert you, you are free to remarry.
You say, “Okay, Doug. But what do you do about this case? My wife and I were believers when we got married. But I started having an affair. My wife found out about it, but I refused to break it off. So I divorced my wife, left my children, and married the other woman. Now I’ve come to my senses. I realize what a mess I’ve made of things and I want to get right with God. Is there any hope for me? What do I do? Should I divorce my present wife and ask my first wife to divorce her husband so we can get back together again?”
Let me begin by saying, yes, there is hope for you. And this would be my counsel:
· First, come to God in brokenness and repentance, confessing your sin of adultery and an unbiblical divorce and remarriage. Claim God’s forgiveness and cleansing. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
· Next, don’t divorce your present wife or disrupt your first wife’s new marriage. You can’t unscramble an egg. Make the most of your present marriage. Make a commitment to the Lord to be the best husband or best wife that you can possibly be.
· Finally, begin to live for the Lord right now. Read your Bible, pray, fellowship with other believers, and get involved in a ministry. And trust God to use you and to do wonderful things through your life.
You say, “Doug, can that really happen? Can God still use me?”
There was a man who was born on August 19, 1843 near Clinton, Michigan. When he was 17 years old he moved to his sister’s home in Tennessee where he enlisted in the Confederate Army during the Civil War. He got out of the army a year later in 1862 and he went to St. Louis to study law. On September 21, 1866 he married his wife, Loentine. In 1869, he and family moved to Kansas where he practiced law. He then entered politics and served in the Kansas House of Representatives. President Grant appointed him United States District Attorney for Kansas in 1873. But he resigned within six months under suspicion of misuse of his office for personal gain. He began to drink heavily. His wife gained a legal separation from him and then eventually divorced him. He returned to St. Louis and reentered law practice. But during this time he sunk into a life of thievery and drunkenness. And then, in 1879, a man named Thomas McPhetters witnessed to him and he got saved. He trusted in Christ alone as his Savior.
He immediately became active in Christian ministry. He assisted in the evangelistic campaign of D. L. Moody in St. Louis that year. He joined the Pilgrim Congregational Church. He was licensed to preach by the St. Louis Association of the Congregational Church shortly thereafter. And then he organized and pastored the Hyde Park Congregational Church in the city. In 1882 he accepted a call to a mission church of the denomination in Dallas. He started the church with fourteen people. Thirteen years later, the church reached a membership of eight hundred.
He was also involved in Bible teaching and theological training. He helped start several schools, including Southwestern School of the Bible in Dallas, New York School of the Bible, and, finally, Philadelphia School of the Bible (now Philadelphia Biblical University).
In the field of missionary endeavor, he founded the Central American Mission in 1890. And he presided over its direction for nearly thirty years.
He was a voluminous writer. He authored countless pamphlets and books on numerous biblical subjects. And he mentored a young man named Lewis Sperry Chafer who went on to become the Founder and President of Dallas Theological Seminary.
So, who is this man? Who is this one-time divorced drunk and thief who went on to do such great things for God? The man’s name is Cyrus Ingerson Scofield—C. I. Scofield—the author of the Scofield Reference Bible—the study Bible that has helped me and countless others gain a clearer understanding of the deep truths and riches of the Word of God.
Now, if God can use a repentant divorced drunken thief, then He can use you. And He can use you in a wonderful way. The choice is yours.
Let’s pray.
Take a moment for silent prayer. If you’re struggling because your spouse is an unbeliever or simply not living for the Lord, talk to the Lord about it right now. Ask God to give you the wisdom and the strength to live for Christ and to follow the teachings of the Word of God.
Father, we pray for those here today who are hurting in their marriages. Give them encouragement and give them hope. Whether married to an unhappy believer or an unhappy unbeliever, help them to submit to you and obey you in this challenging time.
O Lord, give us strong marriages that reflect Christ. We know it takes hard work and diligent effort, but may our families here at Shiloh be shining lights in a spiritually dark culture.
Hear our prayer, we pray. For we ask it in Christ’s name. Amen.
