Three pastors from a small community began getting together to form a kind of support group. After several weeks of building trust in one another, they began to share some of their darkest secrets. The Roman Catholic priest confessed to his problem with gambling and how he would sometimes lose his concentration in a sermon when he looked down at the offering plates. The Baptist pastor admitted to his vice of Bourbon and smoking Cigars and noted his fears of being found out by his congregation. The Lutheran pastor quickly confessed, "I’m an uncontrollable gossip, and I can’t wait to get out of here!"
Now we laugh at that – but maybe because we understand how close that is to our own life at times. In a "Dennis the Menace" comic strip, Dennis is whispering in the ear of Mr. Wilson next door. "Now listen good. I can tell this only once ’cause my Dad told me not to repeat it." One Christian author said that after a lifetime as a pastor, every imaginable sin had been confessed to him but one. People had confessed theft, adultery, even murder, but no one had ever confessed the sin of gossip! It’s a sin others commit. We never do!
Oh, the power of the tongue! It’s only a little part of our body, but it has such potential to destroy. The tongue – like the mouse on a computer or a joy stick on a helicopter, the little thing controls the whole hardware. The tongue – with it we bless God, and with it we curse people whom God has made. Look again at the way the apostle James worded it: "If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check....All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."
If only we could just check our tongue a bit! If we could just control it as well as one person does a huge ship with just a tiny rudder! But we don’t. And one slip of the tongue works like a little spark that ignites a great forest fire. We can say things that can cause people to hurt for a long time. Some people never recover. It’s a deadly thing, this tongue. That’s why among His commandments God gave us the eighth one which is meant to protect the treasure of our honor. "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." Luther, in the Small Catechism asks: What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we do not tell lies against our neighbor, betray him, or hurt his reputation, but defend him, speak well of him, and explain everything in the kindest way.
Very few of us will easily tolerate damaging lies spoken about us. We want to set the record straight as soon as possible. We want the world to know that what’s been said about us isn’t true – that we’re better than that. Why? Because we know that each untruth is a seed sown that will produce more of its kind – a garden full of untruths that can assassinate our character. There are two words in the Bible for this type of sin of the tongue. The first is katalaleo, which means slander. The second is psithuristis – which also sounds like the hissing of a snake – and it means gossip. Now, what’s the difference between slander and gossip? The only difference is one of degrees. Please excuse this illustration, but I think it best makes the point. Suppose you wanted to kill someone. There’s more than one way to do it. You can take a shotgun, walk right up to them point it in their face and pull the trigger. That’s slander. Or you can take a rifle with a scope. Attach a silencer to it, hide yourself a safe distance away, and pull the trigger from long distance. They never know what hit them! That’s gossip!
The tragedy of gossip comes in three primary forms. The first is False Witness or lies, which is literally telling or repeating what you know is untrue about someone else, specifically in a legal sense. God’s Word says in Proverbs 12, "The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." When we deliberately lie and make that a pattern for our life, then Jesus says that we’re following in the footsteps of Satan! He says: "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire....not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
The second form of gossip is much more popular and prevalent: Rumors. Proverbs 26 says, "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts." Human beings seem always ready to pass on any "tender morsel" that they’ve heard about another – especially if that person is prominent in any way. Many times we don’t even check to see if there’s any truth in it. James wrote: "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body."
Imagine trying to put out a wind-blown forest fire with a squirt gun. That’s what Gerber Products, the baby food company, felt they were doing in 1997. Someone somewhere started a false rumor about the company and it spread like wildfire! According to the Chicago Tribune, the rumor said that Gerber had been involved in a class-action lawsuit and would give a $500 gift certificate to families with children to settle the suit. Supposedly all the parents had to do to get the money was send a claim form and copies of their children’s birth certificates and social security numbers to a post-office box in Minneapolis by October 1, 1997. Once the rumor caught fire, it began to spread along channels that gave it the appearance of legitimacy: notices were posted in hospitals and sent home with children by school teachers. One corporation even put the false notice in the envelope with their employee’s paychecks. Gerber tried to stomp out the bogus story, putting a notice on several Internet web sites, tracking down sources of the rumor, and informing the media. Nevertheless, they received over 18,000 phone calls to their toll-free number in the three-week period before October 1st from people requesting the bogus claim form. The cost to Gerber Products of fighting this rumor was in the millions of dollars. Passing along a rumor may seem harmless, but someone pays an undeserved price if we’re not careful about the truth.
The third form of gossip is conjecture or speculation. It’s when we interpret another’s action based on our intuition. Someone once put together a study that found that 80% of our guesses about the motives of others are wrong. My own experience suggests that the study was accurate on the low side of the percentage. The power of conjecture is that once we’ve come to our conclusion, it begins to interpret every behavior of the other person, and if the conjecture isn’t favorable, then there’s nothing the other person can do right! It reminds me of what the French writer Moliere said in 1669, "Here in Paris they hang a man first and try him afterward." Something like that happens when we gossip about someone. We hang him and then later he’ll get a fair trial!
Why is it that we have such a hard time in keeping the eighth commandment? Why can’t we bridle our tongue? Why is it that we get such pleasure when we speak negatively about someone else? Jesus gave us the answer: We have a problem with our heart! He says in Matthew 15, "What comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It’s from the heart that we vomit up, evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies, and slander." The problem is our heart. It’s our fallen nature. The fact is, we’ve chosen to do evil ever since our birth. Psalm 51:5 says: "Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." What we need is a new heart! That’s why in that same psalm we plead, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Angioplasty or a by-pass operation or other repair work won’t do! We need a new heart – one that’s attuned to God, one that’s pliable to God, one that’s responsive to His will. "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me," says verse 12. That’s what we need – a new heart that has a willingness to it – a willingness, an openness toward God.
The Good News for you and for me is that God has given us a new heart in our Baptism. Don’t think for a moment that when the water and the Word touched you, the event was just some kind of symbolic act or a way for you to offer yourself to God. No! Holy Baptism is the most powerful moment that can ever happen to a person on this planet. It’s when God, connecting His Word and His promise with that water says, "I’m going to give myself to you. I’m going to give you forgiveness of all your sins, the hope of heaven, a new life and a brand new heart to serve me."
The Treasure of Our Honor is God-Given
Now with Christ living in us, we’re able to see clearly something we previously only saw dimly if at all: Every human being has been created by God and in His likeness. As such, every human being – even those who don’t believe in Jesus Christ, and therefore not saved – every human being is touched with God-given dignity and honor. That’s why the apostle James was surprised when he wrote: "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness." Because we’re baptized into God’s most holy name, because God has by His Spirit’s power He’s created a new heart within us, we can look at ourselves first and see our own true dignity. I’m worth something in spite of my sinful nature and my many individual sins. I’m worth something in spite of my unwillingness to take perfect care of this body. I’m worth something in spite of my opinion that my body is not as good as someone else’s.
I can look at others and see their God-given worth and honor, because as human being we’re the crown of God’s creation. As human beings, we’re like Stradivariuses in an orchestra of kazoos – there’s no comparison between us and the rest of creation! And that’s not all! God loves us so much "that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life!" Those of us who’ve been baptized into Christ know that to be true!
The eighth commandment of God implores us to uphold the honor of our neighbor – to uphold his or her good name and to protect their reputation. The honor of our faith demands it! And so to help equip us with some practical steps that we can learn and apply to help us keep the commandment and to refrain from gossip, there’s a simple formula I want to ask you to follow. It’s the word "think".
1. T - is it true? Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 13: "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." The more interesting the gossip, the more likely it is to be untrue! But even if you do hear something about someone else that is true, it’s still not your prerogative to go and be the broadcaster of what will further tear them down. St. Augustine in the late 300’s AD encouraged conversation at meals--but with a strictly enforced rule that the character of an absent person should never be negatively discussed. He had a warning to that effect carved on a plaque attached to his table. Remember how Luther explained the commandment? He said that we are to "defend him, speak well of him, and explain everything in the kindest way." And that ties in with the next one...
2. H - is it helpful? If it gains nothing or up-builds no one except the perceived stature of the one telling, then we ought to keep our mouth shut. And that is, after all, the only reason we gossip – so that we can appear bigger, more informed or better connected in the eyes of others, isn’t it? In the Large Catechism of Martin Luther, he writes: "Thus in our relations with one another, we should veil whatever blemishes and infirmities we find in our neighbor, doing our utmost to serve and help him to promote his honor. On the other hand, we should prevent everything that tends to his disgrace. It is a particularly fine, noble virtue always to put the best construction upon all that we may hear about our neighbor, as long as it is not a notorious evil, and to defend him against the poisonous tongues of those who are busy wherever they can pry out and pounce on something to criticize their neighbor, misconstruing and twisting things in the worst way." Luther always told it like it is!
3. I - is it inspiring? Is what someone else is sharing with me or what I’m telling about someone else inspiring and uplifting? Does it benefit and bless those who hear it? Paul says in Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Do you want a guideline for what you can keep your thoughts, your mind, and your heart centered on in order to keep it wholesome and healthy? Then listen to what Paul told the Philippians: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things."
4. N - is it necessary? God’s guideline is simply this: "Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." It sounds so simple, but it seems so hard for us to do. Some of us are fairly good at speaking the truth, but we forget to be loving. Sometimes it’s necessary that we confront one another with what we know or with what we may have heard. The instruction here is to do both: Speak the truth, but do it in a loving manner. Think of the trouble we would spare ourselves if we followed this practice, especially in the church! When you have a problem with another believer, don’t go to someone else with it. Go directly to that person, and speak the truth in love. And then finally, ask yourself...
5. K - is it kind? There’s an old saying that I’m sure you’ve heard before: "If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all!" It still works! If what we’re going to say isn’t kind, leave it unsaid! Why? Because we can count on it coming back to haunt us – and if it isn’t very nice, then the haunting won’t be either! Paul, on the other hand, tells us in Ephesians 4, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
The truth is, friends, that gossip and slander can never be constructive, never helpful. When we participate in it, we push God further from our hearts and sow seeds of malice – seeds which we’ll harvest as a bouquet for our own lives. Today God wants us to put a careful watch on our tongues and renew our hearts in His forgiveness and grace. Maybe there’s someone whom you’ve spoken against, about whom you’ve spread rumors or conjectures. God wants to forgive you of that offense. Maybe there’s someone you know that’s gossiped about you – said hurtful, spiteful things about you and has hurt your reputation and name. God wants you to forgive them – to free them and in the process bring God’s freedom to your own heart.
None of us will ever perfectly keep the eighth commandment. It’s impossible to do that. But we can, day after day, return to God who in Baptism has given us new hearts – hearts filled with the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of truth who leads us and guides us in the truth. Returning to Him, He’ll open our eyes to see what He sees in each of us: His beloved crown of creation, clothed with dignity and honor and redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Amen.
And now grow in the grace and knowledge of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
