SPECIAL DAY: LABOR DAY
TEXT: HEBREWS 13:4
TITLE: “MARRIAGE: A LABOR OF LOVE”
INTRODUCTION: A. It may be Labor Day weekend, but today we have some members celebrating their
50th wedding anniversary: Don and Donna Peed
1. I know that we have many marriages of long-standing in our congregation
--Would any married 35 years or more, please stand
2. Also know that there are many here this morning that are now widows or widowers
that were married for substantial periods of time
B. Donna asked me if I’d sing something special today but the background music for the
song we picked out earlier in the week is damaged and I couldn’t get it to work.
1. However, I have a substitute. I hope you don’t mind. It’s the song I sang to Anna
at our wedding. I’m sure most of you know it. It’s not a Christian song but I think
it expresses the feelings in a marriage where it doesn’t matter how many years go
by, you still fall in love with your spouse day after day.
C. Labor Day weekend may seem like a strange weekend to do it but I want to
emphasize the importance of marriage today
1. Heb. 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,
for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
2. A good marriage is not something that comes naturally
a. Someone: “Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in
a room that’s too warm, beside someone who’s sleeping in a room that’s too
cold.”
b. A little boy came home from Sunday school and his mother asked, “What did
you discuss in class?” The boy said, “Marriage.” Amused, the mother asked,
“What did you learn about marriage?” The boy thought for a moment and told
her, “Jesus said, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
c. A lasting marriage is something that takes a lot work
--A good marriage is surely a labor of love
I. WHY MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT
A. Reason #1: It’s God’s plan for human beings to live as husband and wife
1. I know that the definition of marriage is a big social issue today
--But God never struggled with its definition
a. Marriage is biblically defined as being between one man and one woman
b. If God had wanted it another way, He would have created Adam and Steve and not Adam and Eve
2. Gen. 2:18 – “It is not good for man to be alone.”
--God said that because He had plans for companionship and it involved a committed marriage
relationship between a man and a woman
3. Sometimes this plan is puzzling because men and women are completely different creatures
a. However, God made these differences complementary rather than adversarial
b. That’s why God said in Gen. 2:24 – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
4. I need to point out here that it is not God’s will or desire that everyone should be married
--There are some folks that God calls to be single for their entire life.
a. The apostle Paul points out that people should not marry if God has given the ability to live as a
single person
b. Those gifted in this area from God are able to commit to serving Christ in a way that married
people with families cannot
--Singles are able to go and do certain things without having to worry about commitments to family
obligation
c. The apostle Paul also talks about those who have been widowed or divorced that God now calls to
remain single
--Instead of focusing on being alone, Paul says they need to focus on serving the Lord through their
circumstances
d. Most folks are called to marriage but some are gifted to remain single
--In whatever circumstances, we’re called to serve God to the best of our ability
B. Reason #2: Marriage makes men better men
1. Several years back, George Gilder wrote a book called Men and Marriage
a. Gilder’s research found than on the average, men who are married work harder, make more money,
commit less crime, are more honest, more generous, and healthier than men who are single
b. Gilder says that the reason marriage has such a positive effect is that being accountable to a wife
and caring for a family causes men to be more responsible in their behavior
2. Now, again, if you’re called to be single, this doesn’t necessarily apply in your situation
a. You’re going to be happier doing what you’re called and gifted for
b. But the for the majority, we are called to a marriage relationship and it makes us better men
C. Reason #3: Marriage makes women better women
1. Women tend to be stronger than men in the areas just described whether married or not
--Sorry fellas, but it’s true
2. However, women do have needs that are fulfilled within a strong marriage
3. Have you ever noticed that the radical feminists, those who claim that the world would be better off if
men had never existed, are not very happy people?
a. They may have some good qualities about them but they’re always extremely ANGRY
b. While claiming to get along just fine without men, their anger shows something completely
different
4. Almost every single mom I know would like to be married to a good husband
--She may be glad to be rid of the man she had, but she knows that being a parent would be a lot
easier with a husband whose willing give encouragement, support, and participation in raising
children
5. Men and women have different emotional needs
. a. Dominant need for most men is a desire to be respected
b. But the dominant need for most women is a desire for security
--Even strong, gifted, independent women often feel they need the physical and emotional security
that a good marriage can bring
D. Reason #4: Marriage provides unique opportunities for spiritual growth for both men and women
1. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not claiming that married people are somehow spiritually superior to single
people
2. But I do believe the marriage relationship is a means of grace which God uses to help us become more
like Christ
a. One obvious thing is the accountability that often exists between a husband and wife
b. Living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed year after year provides excellent
opportunities to encourage each other in our Christian walk
3. Marriages that seek to follow the biblical instructions for marriage that God gives in Ephesians 5 and
other passages get a lot of practice at some important Christian virtues
a. Sacrifice and submission are key concepts in a biblical marriage
b. Sacrifice and submission are also key parts of following Christ
c. A biblical marriage is a school where disciples of Jesus are trained
--Marriage isn’t the only school but it is a valuable school
E. Reason #5: Good marriages provide an essential foundation for a healthy society
1. Many of the social and economic problems we face in our nation are caused or are at least compounded
by the breakdown in marriages and families over the last 50 years
2. Many of the school teachers I know say their jobs are made much harder because of the difficult
circumstances many of their students face at home
--A good number of the difficulties are linked to broken homes and bad relationships
3. Strong healthy marriage don’t just mean happier men, women and children
--It also means a better city, state, and nation
II. WHAT WE CAN DO TO HONOR MARRIAGE
A. Celebrate marriage events like weddings and anniversaries
1. A lot of us will celebrate an athletic event but stay away from weddings and anniversary parties if we
can get away with it
--We’ll send a gift or a card and hope it will do
2. I have to admit… Don and Donna have their 50th anniversary celebration today
a. I want to watch all of the UK-UofL football game
b. There’s also something else I want to do
--there’s a TV show that I really like that I missed every episode last season. They’re playing all
24 episodes in a row starting today
c. Guess where I’m going to be?
--Using the VCR to tape what I want to watch and helping the Peeds celebrate their anniversary
3. As much as I like the other things, I know that Don and Donna’s anniversary and what it says to our
culture is much more important than a television show and a football game
B. Avoid sexual immorality
1. Our scripture passage this morning highlights the damage that sexual immorality brings to the
honor of marriage
--it says that the marriage bed should be kept pure and that God will judge the adulterer and all the
sexually immoral
2. Our society is full of sexual immorality
a. Pornography is rampant in print, on film, on television, and on our computers
b. Even as a preacher, I have to be careful
--Pornographers try to send stuff by email to anyone they can. They’re slick. Even if you’ve
never accessed a pornography website, they will get your email address and try to trick you into
opening something you shouldn’t be looking at. That’s why I never open e-mail from
someone I don’t know. I just delete it.
3. Sexual immorality destroys the strength and sanctity of marriages.
a. Yes, I know that forgiveness is possible and I know of marriages that have weathered the storms
of immorality and infidelity.
b. Several years back, polls showed that while many Americans were tolerant of a political leader
that had a sexual affair, they were not so tolerant if their own spouse was involved in one
4. Briefly, let me also say that living together is a horrible way of getting ready for marriage
a. Statistics show that people who live together before they get married are more likely to get
divorced and suffer higher percentages of other marital problems than those who do not live
together.
b. Studies also show that people who are sexually active before marriage face a higher risk of
contracting physical diseases, they’re also more likely to experience a variety of emotional
problems as opposed to those who save sex for marriage
c. Keeping the marriage bed pure is certainly a way to show honor to marriage
C. Commit yourself to making and keeping your marriage a strong marriage
1. If you’re married, the best way you can honor marriage is by building and maintaining a solid
relationship with your spouse
2. It’s not easy because it takes sacrifice, commitment, submission, and a lot of work
a. The Bible describes the ultimate love this way in 1 Cor. 13:4-8a – “Love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”
b. Those attributes don’t come easily or naturally
--They take hard work – they take “laboring at love”
D. Support the marriages around you
1. To be frank, I think sometimes as Christians we don’t do a good job in this area
2. It means that as parents, we have to support our children’s marriages
a. We can’t just side with our son or daughter against their spouse. We need to encourage our
children to be committed to working things out
b. Please realize I’m not talking about where your son or daughter is in an abusive relationship
--Those are special circumstances and requite different actions
c. However, we as Christians need to support and encourage marriage
--I’ve had people come to me for counseling and say, “All my friends say I should just file for
divorce.” I feel like telling them, “Maybe you need to find some new friends.”
d. Good friends support and honor marriage and support and encourage us when we’re going
through tough times
--The best of friends know that divorce is only a last resort
CONCLUSION: A. Let marriage be held in honor by all!
--As Christians we need to work to recapture and uphold God’s ideal for the relationship
between a man and a woman. The results of our work will be significant
1. Individuals will thrive
a. In marriage, an individual is made “complete” by experiencing “oneness” with his
or her spouse
b. People long to be completed but without marriage, many of them will pursue that
longing to be complete in ways that destroy them spiritually, emotionally, and in
some cases, physically
2. Children will thrive
a. Scientific research clearly confirms that children fare better when a mom and a dad
are in the home
b. We have examples all around us of what happens to kids when parents are not
around to invest in their lives
--They, too, suffer spiritually, emotionally, and physically
3. Society will thrive
a. Historians remind us that when strong marriages are held up as the social ideal that
societies flourish
--They tell us that every civilization that strays from supporting strong marriages
eventually collapses
b. Without strong, committed, stable unions that serve as the primary building block
of social structure, the rest of society will be weakened and eventually crumble
4. God will be glorified
a. Because marriage is God’s design, honoring marriage will glorify God
b. Marriage has been God’s created purpose from the beginning of time and God’s
way of illustrating His love for the world
B. One of the most used word pictures in Scripture concerning the relationship between
Jesus Christ and His followers is the picture of the eternal Bridegroom (Jesus) and His
eternal Bride (the church)
1. Before getting any other relationship straight in your life, you have to take care of this
one first
--It’s the foundational relationship that takes care of all the others
2. Do you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
3. Will you be ready when the eternal Bridegroom returns for His eternal Bride?
