Proverbial Wisdom

INTRO.- Quips and quotes.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it’s not worth it.
- A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
- A friend in need is a pest.
- A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
- A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
- A teacher’s job is to take a room full of live wires and make sure they are well grounded.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Being young is a fault that diminishes daily.
- Blessed is he that can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused.
- Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. - Ben Franklin
- Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
- Credit cards are like mosquitoes. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood.
- Dear God, I have a problem; it’s me.
- Do what you think is right in your heart. You’ll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt
- Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day.
- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. - Will Rogers
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. - Mark Twain
- Fish and visitors stink after three days. - - Ben Franklin
- God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
- Golf: A good walk ruined. - Mark Twain
- Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
- He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. - Ben Franklin
- He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
- Housework done properly can kill you.
- How many observe Christ’s birthday, how few his precepts. - Ben Franklin
- I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
- I have a new philosophy, I’m only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles Schulz ("Peanuts")
- I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow
- I never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain
- I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
- I saw few die of hunger; of eating -- 100,000.
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- If at first you don’t succeed, you’re about average.
- If the baby is happy, don’t try to make it happier.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
- If you’d lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money. - Ben Franklin
- In God we trust; all others pay cash.
- It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain
- It’s not easy being green. - Kermit the Frog
- I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened. - Mark Twain
- Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Ben Franklin
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Now the book of Proverbs.
1- Plans