not divorce. I love the way this starts…

Whoever desires to love life and see good days…
I Peter 3:10a (ESV)

Loving life and seeing good days do not mean that we will never again see trouble or heartache. Bad times and good times are a part of every life. But in the midst of the trouble, there can be a love of life. And in the tough times, we can still see good. That’s true generally. And that’s true specifically in your marriage.

Whoever you are – and whatever your state of marriage is – you can increase your love of life and the probability of your seeing good days if you live a certain way.

If you want a happy life and good days (NLT)

Since I read this many years ago, I’ve always been interested in finding out what it’s going to take for me to increase my love of life and the likelihood of seeing good days. This is so important that it’s in the Bible twice. Once in Psalm 34:12-16. And Peter felt that it was so crucial that he quotes it here in his book. Let’s dig in and see what the implications are for us in marriage.

Lord, I want to love married life and see good days, so please…

1. … guard my lips.

Trash talking is out. v. 10c

Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil…

Stop saying cruel things… (CEV)

Sometimes, things just slip out that might not seem evil or cruel, but over time, they start to hurt:

All right then, you can do it from now on.
Would you just get to the point?
OK, I’m sorry; now can we just forget it?

You should call a plumber. He’ll know what to do.
You forgot to bring it home again?
You don’t listen; you don’t care. It’s like you’re not even here!

Remember: once you say it, it’s out there and you can’t get it back. Toothpaste illustration…

Just how important is this?

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are just fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.
James 1:26 (NLT)

People who use anger and sarcasm are not very much in love with their own lives. They’re often angry, bitter, negative people. They dislike their lives so much that they want to make everyone else’s life miserable, too. Trash talking is out.

Truth telling is in. v. 10d

…let him keep… his lips from speaking deceit…

How many times have you been into a fight and you go to bed? You get up. But you never really revisit it. You don’t resolve it. “It’s OK. I’m OK.” And deep down inside, you’re really not OK. It’s deceitful to live day after day, month after month, with unresolved issues.

Quit trying to fool people, and start being sincere.
I Peter 2:1b (CEV)

Trash talking is out and truth telling is in.

Lord, I want to love married life and see good days, so please guard my lips.

2. … guide my steps. v. 11a

… let him turn away from evil and do good…

This is a description of a U-turn. This is a description of an about face.

Give up your evil ways and do right (CEV)

Turn away from what is sinful. Do what is good. (NLV)

There’s an old fashioned word for this: repentance! One way for hope to return to a marriage is through repentance. True repentance makes differences reconcilable.

Your spouse has decided to leave you. He or she tells you that they are leaving and you’re crushed. You try to get him or her to change their mind and you say, “I know I haven’t