THE BEST HOPE FOR AMERICA’S FUTURE
1. A politician died and was met by St. Peter. Peter said, “I was told to offer you something you are very familiar with. You will be allowed to vote for where you will spend eternity; heaven or hell. You will spend a day in each place and then cast your vote.” The politician took the elevator down and arrived in hell. As the doors opened, Satan met him with a warm handshake. Many politicians who had gone before him were there and greeted him. It was a place of incredible beauty and happiness. No one worked yet everyone had an abundance. Everyone enjoyed whatever relationship they chose. Everyone lived by their own rules and were outrageously happy. It was everything he had worked toward all of his political life. At the end of the day, he hated to leave! He took the elevator up and met St. Peter again. He said to Peter, “I would guess that in heaven I will have to live by God’s rules--His thou shalts and thou shalt nots. Therefore, I’ve seen enough! I’ve made up my mind. I vote for hell.” He entered the elevator again and pushed the down button. As the doors opened in hell, his eyes took in absolute devastation and ruin. People were starving and fighting everywhere. Satan approached him with a broad smile. The politician asked, “What happened?” Satan responded, “Yesterday we were campaigning, today we have your vote.”
2. To avoid bankruptcy, companies are merging with other companies. Here could be some future mergers:
a) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. might merge to become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
b) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros. and Nabisco Crackers may join forces to become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
c) Zippo, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining may merge to become: ZipAudiDoDa.
d) Knott’s Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women (NOW) would become: Knott NOW!
e) FedEx may merge with its competitor, UPS to become: FedUP.
f) Many of us are feeling fed up with this whole political process!
3. Our nation’s economy is a disaster!
a) Everything is covered by the F.D.I.C. which stands for: Foolish, Dumb, Innocent, Citizens.
b) Christopher Columbus has been called the forerunner of modern government.
He didn’t know where he was going when he started;
he didn’t know where he was when he got there,
And he did it all on borrowed money.
4. To find a creature in the animal kingdom that behaves like politicians:
• “It would need the ability to butt like a goat and turn like a worm,
• it would need the eyes of a vulture,
• the memory of an elephant,
• and the reactions of a skunk.
4. Two days from now the American people will again elect our next president.
a) There are many essential issues that Christians need to decide upon because our vote will shape our lives for the next four years and for the rest of our lifetime.
b) God has given us the opportunity to determine who will rule over us and establish policies for our nation.
c) The most important six words of today’s sermon: