Sermon:
What is Sex?
This might sound like a stupid question but I think it’s really important. Is sex just intercourse or is it more than that? Consider this quote from a New Canaan senior two years ago year. “Oral sex is the most popular alternative to sex because there’s a huge difference between that and actual sex. Oral isn’t really a big deal because it’s not as emotional as sex.”
According to the National Institute for Sexual Health and a book called Hooked they define sex and sexual activity this way: “Sexual activity is any intimate contact between two individuals that involves arousal, stimulation, and/or a response by at least one of the two partners.” (Hooked, pg. 16) This definition is based on neurological studies and how our brains begin to respond to any of the above activities.
According to the Bible, there are four main words used for sex as far as describing the act itself. First, you have the word bô’ which means “to come into.” Second, you have the word shâkab (shaw-kab’) which means “to lie with.” And third, you have the word ginōskō (ghin-oce’-ko) in Greek and the word yâda‛ in Hebrew which mean the same thing. Both of these words are very deep and meaningful words that mean “to know” and refers to an intellectual knowledge, an experiential knowledge, an emotional knowledge and an intimate, “becoming one” knowledge.
The best way that I have heard sex defined is as a process that ends in intercourse; not just as this act at the end. It’s actually an amazing thing if you think about the science of our bodies. Our bodies are created to go through this process of being turned on and enjoying one another’s bodies that culminate in this two becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:25), as Scripture calls it. Again, I believe that the whole process is sex and not just the part at the end. All of that physical stuff before intercourse begins the process of joining us together emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.


How Far is Too Far?
For this, let’s look at 1 Thessalonians 4:1-7. Paul, Silas, and Timothy, who write this letter to the Thessalonian church, start this section of the letter to the Thessalonian church. “Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more.” In other words, give him everything you can! We can see you are doing this but “we encourage you to do so more.” Keep pushing forward, keep growing! Remember what we have taught you!
Then they restate what they have taught – “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” What does it mean to be holy? It means to be sacred, set apart, pure, and one definition I read said awe-inspiring. I think it is important that this text starts here. Notice they don’t just come out and say don’t have sex. They start by saying God wants us to be holy; He wants us to be awe-inspiring. This