The Woman No Man Wanted

James Walker, in his book “Husbands Who Won’t Lead & Wives Who Won’t Follow”, wrote: “Deep within each man and women is a common longing: the desire to find comfort, companionship, and fulfillment.” I concur with that statement. For all of us, regardless of sex or age, want to be loved, accepted and affirmed. For the most part, most of us at some point in our pilgrimage here on planet Earth have/shall experienced the awful ache of not being wanted in various ways. As a matter of fact, it affects us all.

We hunger for an unconditional love-affair not based on lust but on love; we long for an unqualified acceptance not based on our perfect performance nor on what has been done lately for the other party; and we crave an unreserved affirmation not based on merit but on mercy. We all desire to find comfort, companionship and fulfillment.

But the scary part about reality is that there are scores of human personalities who are just not wanted. None wants to offer them, comfort, companionship or fulfillment. None offers them an unconditional love affair, an unqualified acceptance or an unreserved affirmation. The sad and scary truth is that there are people whom no one wants.

And I really don’t have to labor this fact long because you know people who live a lonely, isolated existence. You have heard of, seen or known children whom no couple wanted to adopt, and so they spent their entire childhood in the foster care system. You’ve observed scores of homeless individuals whom no one wants to help; many in prison who have been written off an unredeemable. So I need not argue that fact. You will concede that fact with me.

And so our Text forces us to face this fact again. It introduces us to a woman whom no man wanted. Her name is Leah: WEARIED, TIRED, EXHAUSTED. Leah is a type of woman which no man seems to wants. She was able to overcome the debilitating reputation of not being wanted. I want us to take a good look at her because clearly here was a woman who was able to live thru the degrading experience of being not wanted by any man. Although she was often tempted to retreat into pity-parties and isolationism, yet she remained true to who she was and had the inner strength of expectation to wait on God.

What then are some of the Characteristics of the Woman whom most men do not want? This Text give Three Clear Characteristics of the kind of Woman most men do not want, and I will share them with you.

I. The First Characteristic here revealed about THE WOMAN MOST MEN DO NOT WANT IS THAT OF BEING BEAUTY CHALLENGED.

Verse 17 says: “Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored.” The word tender eyed in Hebrew means weak eyed, a turning eye, even crossed eyed. So Leah had a problem with her sight; the disfigurement of her eyes made her face unappealing. And this is high lighted by the contrasting fact that Rachel was beautiful and well favored. And so the suggestion is Rachel was beautiful and shapely but Leah was Beauty Challenged, Unattractive, Not Pleasant to Look Upon. We would say that she was Ugly.

You need to understand that Leah’s Self-Image was rooted in Her Status, Not Her Own Qualities. Historically, a woman in Leah’s day was not highly esteemed. Her birth was lightly regarded. Being the oldest daughter meant she was the head household servant. And being a servant meant her father was expected to pay a dowry to someone, anyone, who would take her off his hands. She had little choice in most instances and could only hope for the best and grit her teeth while the deal for her husband was settled. And being beauty-challenged meant that Leah was often overlooked in favor of the younger more attractive Rachel.

Not knowing Leah’s childhood background, we can assume that she may have had the seeds of inferiority sown in her in many ways. She might have been called ‘cock-eyed Leah,’ or ‘the ugly daughter of Laban.’ We can assume that she was the object of scorn and the butt of jokes which would have caused her to be withdrawn and hiding her face and figure behind a veil. She Leah was a working woman; she focused more on work than personal appearance. To compensate for not having beauty and a knock-out figure, she made up for it with work.

For most women, beauty, not brains, retains its number-one position throughout life, even into middle age and beyond. And I believe the reason the average woman would rather have beauty than brains is that she knows the average man can see better than he can think. There was a hostile husband who mouthed off to his wife. He asked, "How can you be so pretty, yet so dumb?" She appropriately replied, "I’m pretty so that you will love me. I’m dumb so that I will love you." The average woman would rather have beauty rather than brains because she knows the average man can see better than he can think!