What To Do When You're Married To A Jerk Series

I know I have. I admit it…I’ve been stubborn and demanding at times. Sometimes both at the SAME time! And so in that sense of the word… every woman can relate to Abigail.

So here’s Abigail a gracious & lovely lady, and for whatever reason… she’s married to a conceited, arrogant, (and as we’ll soon see)… stupid… Jerk!

As we come to vs. 4, we find out that it’s “shearing time” at the “BIG ZERO” ranch. Come spring, all the shepherds would bring their sheep in to be sheered of their thick winter coats before the hot summer months hit.

It was the ancient equiv. of a cattle roundup, and it was the custom to throw a big feast in celebration. Nabal would have had an especially big bash because 4000 head, would mean about 40 shepherds. Plus neighbors, family and relatives.

It was also the custom of that day, to set aside a portion of the profit, and give it to those who had protected the shepherds during the past year. It was kind of like tipping the waiter. There wasn’t any law that you had to… but … it wasn’t a bad idea!

You can imagine the efficient, capable Abigail supervising the entire feast. And it was a great one! It went on for days… and word eventually made it to the mountains where David and his men were hold up, that “Nabal had a good year and he’s throwing a party!”

Now to David and his men, that meant only 1 thing… PAYDAY! They’d been faithfully watching out for his flocks, so it stands to reason that they should share in some of the fruit.

Nabals own employees testify to the way they were treated by David’s men. (READ vs. 15-16)

So, he sends 10 men to politely ask for a share of the food…They stand in front of Nabal and say in vs. 7-8 (READ) But listen to Nabal’s response in vs. 10-11.

He says, “Who’s David?”. Can you imagine that? What arrogance! What a JERK! I mean, he just insulted a band of 600 armed & hungry men! Not a smart thing to do!

Everybody there knew exactly who David was, but Nabal was too busy playing the “BIG MAN” in front of his guests to care.

Well, when the messengers return back to David and reported what Nabal had said… He hits the cave ceiling! Through clenched teeth, he orders his men to put on their swords.

Meanwhile, (back at the ranch), a servant tells Abigail what her foolish husband just did.

Notice, they didn’t go to Nabal, mostly because he was unapproachable, but also because he was probably nursing a terrific hangover!

Abigail knows exactly what to do!

She understands the consequences of her husband’s foolish words, and she also understands men and threats, and how they feel compelled to respond to insults.

She’d probably never met this David, but she’d heard of him. I mean, who hadn’t? She knew he was rash, (just as rash as her husband)… but not as stupid.

And I want you to notice how she responds, because I think it gives a lot of insight into what to do when you’re married to a jerk.

So, what’s the lesson of Abigail? 1st of all…

1. Don’t ARGUE ... let life discipline.

Abigail didn’t waste any time telling “THE JERK”, that he was a jerk! In fact, she didn’t get into a fight with him at all.