Pulling Against God Part 3
Scriptures: Matthew 5: 31-42
Introduction
In my message last week I focused on the first two areas that Jesus dealt with in His sermon on the mount. This week we will continue from where we left off. Before I get into the heart of this message, I want you to ask yourself a question: Do you believe that God had anything to do with where you are right now, today? This question goes to the heart of what I am trying to convey to you about our pulling against God. God has a plan for your life, one that was established while you were still in your mother’s womb. There are times when we will deviate from His designed plan for us, but His plan for our lives, even if we do not fulfill them, does not change. God does not make mistakes; He is never wrong; and He knows what is best for us. Our pulling against Him grieves Him just as it did when King Saul pulled against Him and we know how that ended. When we stop pulling we come to a place where we can clearly see where He is taking us. Now, let us begin where we left off last week. Turn to Matthew chapter five and we will begin at verse 31.
I. Renewing Our Minds About Marriage
I shared with you last week that greater than 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. There are more single adults today than married ones (this data does not include those under the age of 21). The prevailing thought around marriage is that it is a convenience that is good while it lasts but when it ceases to be fun, it is no longer a convenience and you have the option of leaving. Some actually believes that since God wants us to be happy that if we married the “wrong” person God will approve of us leaving them – since that will make us happy. Some of you reading or hearing this may have gone through a divorce and I am not standing here in judgment of you, but trying to simply show everyone that marriage according to God’s purpose should not be entered into lightly and when you do enter into it, your mindset should be one of permanence. As I have shared with you in the past, in my flesh, I recognize that there are cases where divorce is necessary, but marriage in its original design was to last till death. I am going to go out on a limb and make this statement: If someone marries the person that God has truly chosen for them and they are both trying to live for God as best they can, the marriage will have a 99.9% chance of lasting versus the less than 50% it has today for the average marriage. The problem is we like arm candy, someone we feel good to be with because they look good physically. We like them to be all that and a bag of chips plus a soda. We like what we like regardless of what God knows is best for us.
So what is God’s design for marriage and why should that be important to us? Matthew 5:31-32 says “And it was said, ‘Whoever send s his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” When you look at these two verses plus Jesus’ other teachings on divorce one thing stands out, when a man marries a woman that relationship was supposed to last. The term “unchastity” means sexual immorality which includes premarital sex, extramarital infidelity, homosexuality and bestiality. We often limit this to adultery, but it goes further than this. Now here is the problem today, even when problems arise there should be forgiveness available, but I will save that for another sermon.
In Matthew chapter 19 Jesus was asked by the Pharisees whether or not it was permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason – something we have today. Today you can divorce for “irreconcilable differences” which encompasses everything from adultery to not liking how someone cooks. When Jesus answered this question He said the following: “…Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6) In this answer we find the purpose, when a man and woman become husband and wife, they become one flesh.
Now I need you to walk through this with me. In Matthew 5:32, Jesus said “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” In Matthew 19:6 Jesus said “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” When you read what Jesus says, He is very consistent in what He says, marriage was to be for a lifetime (here on earth). During Jesus time there was no thought of marriage being anything other than a union between a man and a woman. Once this union was made, it was supposed to be for a life time. I must tell you that it took me some time to understand what Jesus said when He said if a man divorces his wife he causes her to commit adultery and anyone who marries her is committing adultery. But when you read His statement about them being one flesh and His statement that what God has joined together man should not separate His meaning becomes clear.
Let me give you an example to help you understand what Jesus was saying about being one flesh. When a man and woman marry, they come together physically, spiritually and emotionally. Their union in these areas is crucial to them fully becoming one flesh. Now once they say “I do” and the marriage is consummated, in God’s eyes they are one flesh. Okay, now follow along with me as I attempt to explain Jesus’ statement about when one divorces their spouse they cause them to commit adultery. Allow me to use this example. The body that your spirit resides in is yours right? You are one flesh – you and your body. Let’s say that you are cutting down a tree with a friend using a chainsaw. The chainsaw slips and you cut your friend’s hand off and it falls to the ground. While your friend tries to stop his arm from bleeding, you pick up his hand, wrap it, pack it in ice and rush him to the hospital. When you arrive at the hospital, is there any question as to who the hand belongs to? Will the hospital staff ask you and your friend which one of you does the hand belong to? No, absolutely not! We were designed to have two hands and immediately they will see that you have both of yours and your friend is missing one of his. They will look at your friend holding his arm with a missing hand and immediately assume that the severed hand is his. But let’s suppose that you wanted to keep the hand so you could have three. There is no judge or jury who would allow you to have the hand of your friend just because you wanted it. For as long as your friend is alive, his hand belongs to him, even if it was cut off in an accident and is no longer attached to his body, it is still your friend’s hand. This is the best example I could come up with to explain what Jesus was saying. When God established marriage, that union was to be a lifetime union. That man belongs to that woman (and vice versa) as long as they both are alive, just like your hand will belong to you as long as you are alive. So even through a divorce, Jesus said that divorce did not dissolve what God’s intentions were – that marriage was a lifetime commitment.
So where are we with our thoughts around marriage? We need to stop and think about the commitment required to maintain a marriage before we enter into it. For those of you who are married and struggling, understand that God will help you honor your vows if you have the desire. If your spouse is a Christian and is trying to live a life pleasing to God yet there are other things that they do that drive you up the wall, God is able to help both of you. For those of you who are not married, before you say “I do” make sure you know that this is the person that God has for you. We make mistakes, God does not. God will not send you anyone that will intentionally do damage to you. It may take some time for you to see it, but it will eventually make itself known. If you do not wait on God, you will increase your chances of experiencing trouble. We must change our mindset as it relates to marriage being something of a convenience and once it gets old we can get out, it is not. God intended it to last for as long as you both shall live. Consider this if you are currently or planning to marry in the future. Lets move on to the next topic that Jesus addressed in His sermon.
II. Renewing Our Minds About Making Oaths (Swearing)
“Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statements be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’ and anything beyond these is of evil.” Matthew 5:33-37
These verses do not mean that you cannot make a solemn promise or official oath as some believe (Gen. 22:16; Ps. 110:4; 2 Cor. 1:23) but pertains to oaths made in common speech. When you are in court and are asked to “swear” that you are going to tell the truth, this does not mean that you should not do this. Here is what Jesus was addressing which goes to the heart of our interactions with others. When someone normally uses an oath in common language it suggests that their word in and of itself cannot be trusted. God law says “Do not lie under oath…” (Lev. 19:12; Num. 30:2) but Jesus was saying that we should not lie under any circumstances. But He also addressed something that was specific to His time. During biblical times, the phrase “to the Lord” could be used as a cover-up for falsehood. Any oath utilizing God’s name was legally binding; however, an oath without God’s name was not legally binding. So the emphasis in the verses above stressed that people should not use God’s name in any oath in an attempt to prove that they will honor their word. We should be living our lives in such a way that we never have to swear that we are telling the truth or that we will honor what we say. When we say “yes” it means “yes” and there is no falsehood in it. When we give our word, based on how we live our lives, there should not ever be a question as to whether or not we will fulfill what we say. It should be a given. So should you ever “swear” from the standpoint of giving an oath? If you tell someone something and they ask you to swear on it, you must understand that it is because they believe that if you swear it increases the chances of you keeping your word or your promise. As I said before, our goal should be to get to the point that whatever we commit to, there is not a question as to whether or not we will do it. When you open your mouth, can you be believed? Our reputation should be that when we open our mouths we can be trusted. Lets move to the last topic for this message; Jesus’ teaching on revenge and longsuffering.
III. Renewing Our Minds About Revenge
We have been taught that we must defend ourselves at all cost. If someone hits you, you can hit them back in self defense. If someone borrows something from you, you have the right to expect them to return it to you. What we have been taught is that we have rights, the right to defend ourselves and the right to have possessions without them being taken from us. Now consider what Jesus said on this subject. Look at verses 38-42 of Matthew chapter five. “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.”
In verse 38, Jesus reminds them again of what they had been taught although God’s commands something different. They had been taught that an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. What this literally meant was that if someone knocked your tooth out you had the right to knock out one of theirs. The same applied to an eye or anything else that was taken from you. With this being taught, the people actively participated in getting revenge. Now take this one step further. Let’s say someone knocked your tooth out and in your moment of revenge you knocked out three of theirs, what would be the outcome? They now will have the right to knock out two more of your teeth. Can you see where this would end up? Before long neither of you would have any teeth. Jesus reminded them of what God told them in Lev. 19:18 which says “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.” Some of you sitting here today are probably thinking that I must be out of my mind, but this is not Rodney telling you this, it is God’s word. Paul says in Romans 12:17 “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” You must remember, we have been called to a higher calling and sometimes that means the choices that we make may not always be popular. Back in the sixties when Rev. Dr. Martin L. King led the non-violence protests, there were many who disagreed with his approach and actually fought against him. If you know your history, you will understand that had he not taken that approach we may not be where we are today as a nation. He did not give them a reason to continue in hate. He did not give them a reason to justify their hatred. What he showed them was love in the most difficult of circumstances. When Christians get revenge, it can be very troubling.
The next thing Jesus said “And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.” These verses speak to our ability to be longsuffering. Jesus was again talking about our inward desire to fight back. It is within us to stand up for our rights. Let me ask you a question. Supposed the mailman walked by you carrying a very heavy mail bag and he told you, not asked, but told you to come and carry his bag for the next mile. What would you do? Supposed a soldier walked by you and told you to come and carry his pack for one mile, what would you do? I am assuming if you are like most, you would tell them what they could do with their request. When Jesus made the statement to go two miles with someone who forces you to go one, He was speaking very specifically to what the laws were of that time. Everyone was required, when told or asked, to carry the bags of the mailman or soldier for one mile. This was not a choice; this was a law that carried punishment if the person refused. We see this in action when Simon was called upon to carry the cross for Jesus when He was on His way to be crucified (Matthew 27:32). Jesus was speaking to the attitudes of Christians.
Let me close this section with something for you to consider. Every day we have many opportunities to live and act according to our rules and regulations or God’s. The world in which we live in is in some ways extremely different from the world that Jesus lived in yet His teachings are still applicable today. Consider this fact, if you teach your child to fight back in school, what will your response be when they are expelled for fighting with the current no tolerance rules in schools? What will your response be when they are arrested for fighting and now they will not qualify for some scholarships? What will your response be when they get so angry that they take one of your kitchen knives to school “just in case” they need it; then pull it out when the bully picks on them; and the bully ends up on the ground with a knife wound? What will you say to the judge after your child is arrested for attempted murder? What will you say to your child when they are sentenced to prison? These situations happens everyday because we as parents are teaching our kids to “defend” themselves at all cost versus reporting incidents to the authorities. I will not even start on what we do as adults when we want revenge.
What are your rights? How important to you is it to be right and ensure that no one ever “gets over on you”? What are you willing to endure that you may be a light for Christ? This, my friends, is longsuffering. We will continue this next week.
