Summary: Exposition of Philemon 8-16 regarding the way Paul and Philemon handled a potentially painful situation.

Text: Philemon 8-16, Title: Resisting Cultural Norms, Date/Place: NRBC, 11/18/07, AM

A. Opening illustration: John Hess Yoder writes in Leadership magazine: While serving as a missionary in Laos, I discovered an illustration of the kingdom of God. Before the colonialists imposed national boundaries, the kings of Laos and Vietnam reached an agreement on taxation in the border areas. Those who ate short-grain rice, built their houses on stilts, and decorated them with Indian-style serpents were considered Laotians. On the other hand, those who ate long-grain rice, built their houses on the ground, and decorated them with Chinese-style dragons were considered Vietnamese. The exact location of a person’s home was not what determined his or her nationality. Instead, each person belonged to the kingdom whose cultural values he or she exhibited. So it is with us: we live in the world, but as part of God’s kingdom, we are to live according to his kingdom’s standards and values.

B. Background to passage: Paul has introduced Philemon as a man of deep Christian character and close associated with the church in his house. And now he gets to the main matter of his epistle—Onesimus. The situation is that Onesimus is a runaway slave that has been ministering to Paul while he is in prison. And Paul would like to keep Onesimus, but there are nagging issues from his past that must be dealt with adequately because of his new relationship with Christ. So Paul has asked him to return to Philemon and receive whatever Philemon sees fit. The culture would have had him put to death at worst, and beaten half to death at best. But as Paul indicates, as Christians we live by a redeemed code of conduct that calls upon us to go above and beyond what the world, our own flesh, and the devil say that we should do.

C. Main thought: Paul requests and demonstrates how that Christianity goes against cultural norms related to mistreatment and forgiveness

A. Requests not commands (v. 8-9, 14)

1. Paul begins his talk with the understanding that he was making a request or appeal for love’s sake, rather than a command. The world says if you have authority, use it to achieve your ends whatever the cost. Even though Philemon was a prominent businessman with much status in the community and Paul was a prisoner in a Roman jail, he still could have commanded him to do whatever he saw fit. He used the same spiritual authority to send Onesimus back to Philemon. And even though he could have made a case for just keeping him there for ministry’s sake, he knew that proper ends in themselves don’t justify improper means. God would receive the most glory if all this forgiveness and reconciliation was voluntary, not by compulsion. Paul wanted Onesimus to submit to the consequences of his actions, and Philemon to forgive as Christ forgave, but both because they wanted to do the right thing.

2. Mark 10:42, Rom 13:1-5, 1 Tim 5:17, Heb 13:17,

3. Illustration: in one church’s discipleship program that they had for men they focused on submission of their wills to higher authority, they said because if a man never learns that there are proper authorities in life, he will continually rebel against them displeasing God and wrecking all relationships, conversation with Margaret about how many wives really want their husbands to step up and take the spiritual leadership in their homes, Voddie’s testimony about the men in his church and how the wives look at them when they lead the family in a devotional time,

4. God ordained several lines of authority that really carry God’s force behind them. Governments are given authority over nations. Pastors are given authority over churches. Husbands you have authority over wives and children (by the way the language used here about “boldness in Christ to command” is used of husbands and wives in Colossians). And to rebel against these authorities is to rebel against God. And also to abdicate your role as a leader is rebellion against God and the responsibility that He has given. BUT, as leaders and authority bearers of God, we are not to lead with an iron hand, but by example and service. We know that if we lead as Christ led, we only command occasionally, but rather we request and persuade and appeal most of the time. This is the way a friend deals with a friend or a brother deals with a brother.

B. Evangelizes not complains (v. 10)

1. Roman prisons did not offer three square meals a day or mattresses and TVs in each room. They didn’t offer a chance to get a college degree. There was constitutional amendment about cruel and unusual punishment. If we could all see the conditions in which Paul was writing, we would have probably understood a little if Paul complained some about being imprisoned at 60+ years old for serving God. In fact the culture would have said to hang it up, forsake that God, go back to the house, etc. But instead Paul continues to bring spiritual children into the world. He figures that if he is in prison, there must be a reason that God wants him in prison. Then enter Onesimus. So Paul begins to persuade him about the truth of the gospel and he is gloriously saved from a life of rebellion to one of usefulness. Onesimus’ name means useful, but this was obviously not the case for a runaway. But the gospel changes people who are unprofitable into helpful, useful, Christ-centered, God-honoring, Spirit-empowered, Kingdom-oriented believers. This was Paul’s life, every time you turn around, he is giving testimony about how Jesus changed his life.

2. Philip 2:14-15, 1 Pet 3:15, Acts 22:6-7, 26:12-14

3. Illustration: tell about the movie “The Apostle” and how the preacher is always ministering regardless of where he goes, even in prison, Ronnie putting a sign on the underside of the trunk that reminded him that God must have a special reason that he wanted him to have a flat tire that day in that spot, "Jesus . . . wants us to see that the neighbor next door or the people sitting next to us on a plane or in a classroom are not interruptions to our schedule. They are there by divine appointment. Jesus wants us to see their needs, their loneliness, their longings, and he wants to give us the courage to reach out to them" tell about the guy that was putting me off on the plane and I finally said that we might not make it to Boston…

4. Jesus’ ministry was that of interruption. But he did not view them as problems, but as opportunities. But we are so tied to our date books and palm pilots that we don’t have time to help someone who doesn’t have an appointment. And we don’t tend to see people as divine appointments. But we must see them as Jesus saw them, “sheep without a shepherd.” And be there for them like Philip who was asked “how can I understand, lest someone interpret for me.” Airplanes are great, but cubicles are good too. Classrooms are ideal, but gas pumps are sufficient. Sports teams give multiple opportunities, but JWs will even come in the house and listen to the gospel if you promise to hear their spill too. Neighbors sharing meals, people with flat tires, I could go on. Mr. Bass just goes to the flea market, because lost people are there (they call him the preacher).

C. Deep affection not superficiality (v. 12)

1. Our culture says, be careful how close you get to people. They will hurt you. In relationships they say to get what you need, then get back. In verse 11 Paul called Onesimus his son indicating closeness between him and Onesimus. Paul spoke like this often. And in this verse, he tells Philemon to receive him, that is, my own heart. Paul indicates that even though they hadn’t spent much time together, they were very close. The word had the connotation of the gut, the seat of emotion, the heart, the center of being.

2. 1 Cor 12:26, 2 Cor 1:3, 1 Pet 3:8, Matt 9:36, John 11:35, Acts 20:37-38

3. Illustration: The idea of Southern Hospitality in Maine, “Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in some churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, and superficial politeness but shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real fellowship.” –Rick Warren, “But the Bible says true fellowship has the power to revolutionize lives. Masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness flows. People really do become like brothers and sisters. They shoulder each other’s burdens - and unfortunately, that’s something that few of the people in that audience had experienced while growing up in church.” “sometimes the hardest organization to break into is a Baptist church.”

4. Unfortunately most churches have followed the world. We rarely get involved in peoples lives, bear their burdens, carry them through difficult seasons. We are not willing to be vulnerable, open, honest, and caring with each other. We rarely see anyone from church outside of church, and our conversation is rarely deeper than the ballgame, the weather, or the latest gossip or article from the Tifton Gazette. People need deep relationships, especially new believers and members. And people say that we have a friendly church. But I know that it takes work to build new relationships to grow. And it takes relationships to disciple others adequately, that is why discipleship takes best in small groups or one-on-one.

D. A prophet’s reward not financial gain (v. 13)

1. The culture would tell Philemon to kill Onesimus or beat him or sell him or something but not forgive, and certainly not keep him as a slave, but send him back to Paul to serve! Paul suggests here that he needed and would have liked to keep Onesimus as a ministry assistant, and that if Philemon chooses to send him back, his service would be like Philemon being able to be there for him. Paul says that Onesimus could serve the kingdom of God in your place here with me. And Philemon was just biblical enough to realize that if he could bless Paul in this way, he would benefit too eternally.

2. Matt 10:41-42,

3. Illustration: all of you who gave to Ronnie Owens’s ministry will have a part in the reward he will receive for seeing 20K plus people come to know Jesus in Malawi, Africa this next summer,

4. As Christians we are not to view the world and our decisions in it through the lens of material gain. Our biblical mindset sees money as a tool or means to an end, but not as an end in itself. Therefore the financial motivations should be below spiritual motivations on our list of reasons why we do certain things. And not that you always have to make a decision between the two, but knowing this truth, makes a decision like that easier. Secondly, God will reward every penny that is given to support Christ-centered ministries. If you bless those that are in the work of the gospel, you will be entitled to a portion of their ministry rewards. And the simple fact is that some ministers of the gospel will go to places that we’ll never go, but it there are ways that we can support them, it is like going with them.

E. For the kingdom not your comfort (v. 15-16)

1. Our culture serves a god that always does what they want for their comfort. This god never brings about pain or injustice or disaster into the lives of believers, or non-believers for that matter. But Paul suggests here that God used the sin of Onesimus’ running away to accomplish greater good. Translation: God’s purposes included financial hardship, more difficult service, embarrassment, and now the pain caused by his return for Philemon and his family. All of that so that God could bring about the salvation of Onesimus, service for the imprisoned apostle, and probably the salvations of thousands or millions more based on the converts of Paul and Onesimus and their spiritual children. Maybe Philemon had been witnessing to Onesimus, and he would be overjoyed. All the more reason to forgive Onesimus

2. Gen 50:20, Pro 16:4, 9, 33, 115:3, 135:6, Amos 3:6, Eccl 7:14, 2 Sam 12:10, Lam 3:37-38, Matt 10:29, Jer 29:11, Isa 55:11, 46:10-11, 45:7, 14:27, Ps 33:11, Ex 9:16

3. Illustration: It happened like this. It was the year of the great hurricane that swept over Guernsey causing a great deal of damage including the roof of my carport. I went to investigate and in so doing slipped and fell through the Perspex sheeting. If the old banger hadn’t been there I would have fallen eight feet on to the concrete floor, but no, in god’s providence, I tumbled on the car roof, slid down on bonnet to the floor. For example the five young missionaries that were killed on Palm Beach in Ecuador in 1956, and less than three years later that tribe was reached because of their deaths, and still today continues in the faith. Jim Elliot wrote in his diary that he would be more than willing to give his life for that tribe for them to know Christ, Paul said that he would be accursed if the Jews could be saved,

4. But usually when someone suggests that God ordains painful events that are going on currently in your life, we react harshly. But please note that this is correct biblical doctrine. God does things in order to bring about His glory and His kingdom’s advance. And sometimes that includes giving His children hardship, so that they can better glorify and enjoy him. Sometimes missionaries die in service to Christ, but God always ordains this to bring about His glory. Don’t let our culture lie to you and tell you that you deserve better. Don’t let them tell you that it should be a bed of roses. And when hardship comes embrace it like my friend’s wife who was fired last week for a righteous cause said, “I know that one day we will look back on this as a blessing.” Affirm that God’s hand is in suffering, and suffer well to the glory and praise and honor of Christ.

A. Closing illustration: “Worldliness, then, is a preoccupation with ease and affluence. It elevates creature comfort to the point of idolatry-- large salaries and comfortable life-styles become necessities of life. Worldliness is reading magazines about people who live hedonistic lives and spend too much money on themselves and wanting to be like them. But more importantly, worldliness is simply pride and selfishness in disguises. It’s being resentful when someone snubs us or patronizes us or shows off. It means smarting under every slight, challenging every word spoken against us, cringing when another is preferred before us. Worldliness is harboring grudges, nursing grievance, and wallowing in self-pity. These are the ways in which we are most like the world.”

B. Recap

C. Invitation to commitment