Summary: God has entrusted every parent with the responsibility to love, nurture, care for, and discipline our children.

The Greatest Needs Of Our Children

Matthew 18:1-5

Children’s Ministry Appreciation

Introduction: Letter From Camp

Dear Mom,

Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn’t burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance on it. We think it’s a neat car. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,

Jimmy

P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

(Source unknown)

Illustration: How Are Your Children Doing?

The Fordham Institute just released its most recent "Index for Social Health for Children and Youth." This index combines infant mortality, child abuse, teenage pregnancy, suicide, drug abuse, high school dropout rates and a host of the factors into a scale of social health that ranges from 0-100.

In 1970, the index stood at 68. Today? It’s plummeted to 37, "the worst year for children in two decades."

What the Fordham Institute didn’t index, however, what we as Christians should desire first for our children: Spiritual Health. How are your children doing? (Source unknown)

Illustration: Statistic – Results Of Divorce

"Almost half of children of divorces enter adulthood as worried, under-achieving, self-deprecating, and sometimes angry young men and women," reports Judith Wallerstein, director of the Center for the Family in Transition and author of Second Chance (Ticknor & Fields, 1988). Her conclusion is drawn from interviews conducted over a 15-year period with 60 families, mostly white middle class.

Other Wallerstein findings:

--Three out of five youngsters felt rejected by at least one parent

--Half grew up in settings in which the parents were warring with each other even after the divorce. (Reported in Time, 2/6/89. Leadership, Vol. 10, no. 3.)

I. CHILDREN NEED TO BE TREATED AS CHILDREN. Galatians 4:1-2

Illustration: A Persistent Little Boy

A seven-year-old boy had been pestering his father for a watch, but his father was not about to give him one. After he had asked for about the twentieth time, his father said, "My boy, that’s all I want to hear about that watch. Don’t you ever bring it up again!"

At supper that night, each member of the family shared a Scripture verse at the table. When it was time for the boy to read his verse. After finding the verse that he wanted to read, he finally smirked and read "The verse I have chosen today is Mark 13:37, ’What I say to you, I say to everyone, "Watch!"’" (Source unknown)

A. Children Are Not Miniature Adults. 1 Corinthians 13:11

Illustration: A Prayer Request

Little Jimmy shouted out his bedtime prayers: "AND PLEASE, DEAR GOD, I PRAY THAT I WILL GET A NEW BICYCLE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!"

"What are you shouting for?" said his brother. "God isn’t deaf!"

"I know," said Timmy, "but granny is!" (Source unknown)

Illustration: Appropriate Church Behavior

In church last Sunday I noted a small child who was turning around smiling at everyone. He wasn’t gurgling, spitting, humming, tearing the hymnbooks, or rummaging through his mother’s handbag. He was just smiling.

Suddenly his mother jerked him around, and in a stage whisper that everyone could hear, said, "Stop grinning. You’re in church!"

With that she gave him a slap on his hind side, and as the tears rolled down his cheeks she added, "That’s better," and returned to her prayers.

Here was a woman sitting next to the only life left in our civilization, the only hope, our only miracle, our only promise of infinity. If he couldn’t smile in church, where was there left to go? (James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 92.)

B. Children Are Children And We Are Entrusted With Developing Their Character. (Proverbs 22:6)

II. CHILDREN NEED TO BE CARED FOR AND NURTURED. Proverbs 20:11-12

Illustration: Cuddling

To build a sense of attachment and security in your child, do not skimp out on cuddling. Show your child how much they mean to you by giving hugs and kisses at all ages. (http://www.wisdomtips.com.)

A. Children Learn What They Observe.

1. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn and be judgmental.

2. If children live with hostility, they learn to be angry and fight.

3. If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy and withdrawn.

4. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

5. If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

6. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

7. If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

8. If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

9. If children live with security, they learn to have faith.

10. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

11. If children live with acceptance and friendship, they learn to find love in the world.

B. Children Must Be Valued As Our Most Priceless Possession.

Illustration: A Child’s Importance

All children wear the sign: "I want to be important NOW." Many of our juvenile delinquency problems arise because nobody reads the sign. (Dan Pursuit, as quoted in Bob Phillips, Phillips’ Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1993), p. 66.)

Illustration: Becoming Possible

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up.

"President."

"A fireman."

"A teacher."

One by one they answered until it came Billy’s turn. The teacher asked, "Billy, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Possible," Billy responded.

"Possible?" asked the teacher.

"Yes," Billy said, "my mom is always telling me I’m impossible. When I grow up I want to become possible." (Dan Pursuit, as quoted in Bob Phillips, Phillips’ Book of Great Thoughts & Funny Sayings, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1993), p. 66.)

III. CHILDREN NEED TO LEARN DISCIPLINE. Proverbs 22:5-6

Illustration: “Drug” Problem

I had a "drug" problem when I was a young person and a teenager. I was "drug" to church on Sunday morning. I was "drug" to church on Sunday night. I was "drug" to church on Wednesday night. I was "drug" to Sunday school every week. I was "drug" to Vacation Bible School. I was "drug" to the family altar to read the Bible and pray. I was also "drug" to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents.

Those "drugs" are still in my veins. And they affect my behavior in every thing I do, and say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin. If our children had this "drug" problem, the world would certainly be a better place. (Source unknown)

Illustration: Deprived Children

The most deprived children are those who have to do nothing in order to get what they want. (Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986). Edythe Draper, Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1992). Entry 1128.)

A. Genuine Love Always Disciplines. Proverbs 13:24

Illustration: How Not To Do It

The sheriff’s office in a Texas city once distributed a list of rules titled "How to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent in Your Own Family":

Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. This will insure his believing that the world owes him a living.

Pick up everything he leaves lying around. This will teach him he can always throw off responsibility on others.

Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. He is a "free spirit" and never wrong.

Finally, prepare yourself for a life of grief. You’re going to have it. (James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 194.)

B. Godly Leadership Is Essential.

Illustration: Right Behind Father

A man and his young son were climbing a mountain. They came to a place where the climbing was difficult and even dangerous. The father stopped to consider which way he should go. He heard the boy behind him say, "Choose the good path, Dad; I’m coming right behind you!" (Author unknown. James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 202.)

1. You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here’s how - guaranteed!

2. Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality.

3. Fake your faith.

4. Sneak around and pretend your spiritual.

5. Train your children to do the same.

6. Embrace a long list of do’s and don’ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately . . . yet never own up to the fact that its hypocrisy.

7. Act one way but live another.

8. And you can count on it - emotional and spiritual damage will occur. (Charles Swindoll. The Grace Awakening. Dallas: Word Publishing, 1990) p. 97. Contributed by: John Hamby.)

IV. CHILDREN NEED UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS. Mark 9:36-37

Illustration: A Child’s Answer

A nervous clergyman, who could prepare his sermons only when absolutely alone and undisturbed, thoughtlessly left his study door unlocked and his little three-year-old child softly opened the door and came in. He was disturbed and a little impatiently asked, "My child, what do you want?"

"Nothing, Papa."

"Then what did you come in for?"

"Just because I wanted to be with you," was the reply.

What rest and quietness we would receive from God if we would only go into His presence and wait before Him, wanting nothing only to be with Him. How soon His care would rest us! (By William Moses Tidwell, "Effective Illustrations.")

Illustration: Quote From James Dobson

Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built. (James C. Dobson (1936- ). Edythe Draper, Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1992). Entry 1110.)

Conclusion

Robert Fulghum writes, “All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile as Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up you own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.” (Robert Fulghum, Everything I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten (New York: Villard Books, 1989). Pg 6-7.)