Summary: Answered prayer is dependent upon a right relationship with God. #3 in a 4 part series.

Title: Why Is God Not Answering My Prayers?, Part 1

Series: Prayer Changes Things

Text: 1 John 3:21-22

Introduction: We Forgot to Bait the Hooks

I have a friend who took his little six-year-old boy fishing with him one day. They put out the line and then went up to the cabin. After an hour, they went back down to the river to see if they had caught anything.

Sure enough, there were several fish on the line. The boy said, "I knew there would be, Daddy."

The father asked, "How did you know?"

He replied, "Because I prayed about it."

So they baited the hooks again and put out the line and went back to the cabin for supper. Afterward, they went back to the river; again, there were fish on the line. The boy said, "I knew it."

The father said, "How?"

"I prayed again."

So they put the line back into the river and went to the cabin. Before bedtime, they went down again. This time there were no fish.

The child said, "I knew there wouldn’t be," and the father asked, "How did you know?"

The boy said, "Because I didn’t pray this time."

The father asked, "And why didn’t you pray?"

And the boy said, "Because I remembered that we forgot to bait the hooks." (Robert Goodrich, What’s It All About. James Hewitt, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. 1988), p. 420).

I believe the dilemma we are facing is simply the fact that we don’t really believe that God answers our prayers. We believe He will answer some one else’s prayers, but not ours. What we don’t seem to understand is that God can respond to prayer in 4 ways:

1. He can say, “Yes.”

2. He can say, “No.”

3. He can say, “Wait.”

4. He can refuse to respond.

Yes, we can handle.

No is not so easy, but we can accept God’s divine will and know that in His love He will not give us anything that He knows will hurt us.

Wait is a little harder. We tend to want what we want now, not later. We don’t want to wait.

But there are certain conditions in which God will not answer our prayers. According to 1 John 3:21-22, “Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.” A guaranteed answer to prayer, then, is dependent upon the condition of the heart. Only when we have a right relationship with God, when we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight, will He fulfill His promise to answer us. It is conceivable, therefore, that He will refuse to answer, holding back His intended blessings, if there are problems in our spiritual relationship. If we feel that God is ignoring us, perhaps we simply need to look inward to find the problem. We can start by asking ourselves some soul-searching questions.

I. AM I ENTERTAINING FEELINGS OF ANGER AND WRATH? 1 Timothy 2:8

Anger – a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism.

Wrath – retributive punishment for sin or crime.

Note: The implication here is that we cannot be holy while we cherish a spirit of anger. Someone once said, “Some Christians are like balloons--full of wind and ready to blow up.” (Croft M. Pentz, The Complete Book of Zingers (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1990).)

Note: Anger is not always sin (Ephesians 4:26-27).

A. Anger Destroys Unity. Ephesians 4:31-32

Illustration: Cross or Sin?

A man once told his pastor, “I have a fierce temper, but I suppose that is my cross.”

“My friend,” the pastor replied lovingly, “That is not your cross, but it is your sin!” (Alan Redpath in Victorious Christian Faith. Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no. 8.)

1. We cannot pray effectively when we harbor a spirit of contention.

2. A bad relationship with other believers will always hinder our prayer life.

B. Anger Breeds Resentment.

Illustration: A Dollar’s Worth Of Resentment

There was a merchant who had identical twin sons. The boys worked for their father in the department store he owned and, when he died, they took over the store. Everything went well until the day a dollar bill disappeared. One of the brothers had left the bill on the cash register and walked outside with a customer. When he returned, the money was gone.

He asked his brother, "Did you see that dollar bill on the cash register?"

His brother replied that he had not. But the young man kept probing and questioning. He would not let it alone.

"Dollar bills just don’t get up and walk away! Surely you must have seen it!"

There was subtle accusation in his voice. Tempers began to rise. Resentment set in. Before long, a deep and bitter chasm divided the young men. They refused to speak. They finally decided they could no longer work together and a dividing wall was built down the center of the store. For twenty years hostility and bitterness grew, spreading to their families and to the community.

Then one day a man in a car stopped in front of the store. He walked in and asked the clerk, "How long have you been here?"

The clerk replied that he’d been there all his life.

The customer said, "I must share something with you. Twenty years ago I was ‘riding the rails’ and came into this town in a boxcar. I hadn’t eaten for three days. I came into this store from the back door and saw a dollar bill on the cash register. I put it in my pocket and walked out. All these years I haven’t been able to forget that. I know it wasn’t much money, but I had to come back and ask your forgiveness."

The stranger was amazed to see tears well up in the eyes of this middle-aged man. "Would you please go next door and tell that same story to the man in the store?" he said.

Then the man was even more amazed to see two middle-aged men, who looked very much alike, embracing each other and weeping together in the front of the store. After twenty years, the brokenness was mended. The wall of resentment that divided them came down. (Contributed by: Johanna Radelfinger. http://www.sermoncentral.com.)

C. Resentment Leads To Bitterness. Hebrews 12:14-15

Quote: If there is the tiniest grudge in your mind against anyone ... your spiritual penetration into the knowledge of God stops. (Oswald Chambers. Edythe Draper, Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World. Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1992).

Illustration: A Heart Focused On God

Warren Wiersbe wrote a book called Victorious Christian about a woman named Fanny Crosby. Crosby was the author of over 8000 songs including several that we sang today. In fact she wrote so many that she had to write under pseudonyms just so she could get more of her songs into the hymnbooks.

At 6 weeks of age Fanny Crosby developed a minor eye inflammation and was taken to a local doctor for treatment. However, the doctor who treated her used the wrong medicine on her eyes and she became totally and permanently blind because of his carelessness.

Interviewed years later, Fanny Crosby said she harbored no bitterness against the physician. In fact, she once said, "If I could meet him now, I would say thank you, over and over again for making me blind." She felt that her blindness was a gift from God to help her write the hymns that flowed from her pen.

How could Fanny Crosby, blinded by a tragic failure of a careless doctor –still be filled with such joy and power in her songs? Because she kept her heart focused on God.

She looked up toward God rather than around at her disability and weaknesses.

As with Paul, she was convinced that she could do all things through Christ who gave her strength. (Jeff Strite in "We’ve Got A Secret" on www.sermoncentral.com. Contributed by: SermonCentral PRO.)

II. DO I CHERISH UNFORGIVENESS TOWARD ANOTHER BELIEVER? Matthew 6:14-15

Illustration: Forgiveness Provides Freedom

The book “Will Daylight Come?” by Richard Hoefler, illustrates the truth, that forgiveness frees and unforgiveness enslaves.

A little boy visiting his grandparents was given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to grandma’s back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let it fly. The stone hit its target.

The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to look and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day, Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sally said, “Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn’t you, Johnny?” And she whispered to him, “Remember the duck!” So Johnny did the dishes.

Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, “I’m sorry, but I need Sally to help make supper.”

Sally smiled and said, “That’s all taken care of, Johnny wants to do it.” Again she whispered, “Remember the duck.” Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s, he couldn’t stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he’d killed her duck.

“I know, Johnny,” she said, giving him a hug. “I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you! I wondered how long you would let Sally make you a slave.” (Leadership Magazine, Christianity Today, Inc., To Illustrate: Forgiveness by Steve Cole; Leadership 1983, pg. 86. Contributed by: Kenneth Squires. http://www.sermoncentral.com.)

A. Believers Should Forgive Others As God Has Forgiven Them. Ephesians 1:7

B. An Unforgiving Spirit Is Totally Inconsistent With Our Position In Christ. Ephesians 4:32

C. An Unforgiving Spirit Brings God’s Chastening. Matthew 18:21-35

III. DO I NEED TO REPARE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP? Matthew 5:23-24; 1 Peter 3:7

A. Unresolved Conflicts Must Be Settled. Matthew 18:15

Illustration: Conflict Resolution In 15 Minutes Or Less

Some of us fear conflict, like the grass in the African proverb, “when bull elephants fight, the grass always loses.”

Others of us dread conflict much like opening the proverbial can of worms without knowing how to get them back in.

Others of us, however, seem to deal with it quite well like the Pastor who solved the squabbles between two members of the pastoral staff by telling them to “step into the hallway and hash it out. If you cannot reach an agreement in fifteen minutes, I’ll have to let one of you go.” In five minutes they were back. Both were smiling. (Contributed by: Jim Kane. http://www.sermoncentral.com.)

1. Before God answers our prayers we must settle our differences with others.

2. Not to do so is to be a hypocrite by asking for forgiveness without repenting.

B. We Should Attempt To Settle Conflicts Even If We Are Not Responsible.

Illustration: She’s Not My Daughter

During the conflict in Sarajevo a reporter who was covering the conflict in the middle of Sarajevo saw a little girl shot by a sniper. The reporter threw down his pad and pencil, and stopped being a reporter for a few minutes. He rushed to the man who was holding the child, and helped them both into his car.

As the reporter stepped on the accelerator, racing to the hospital, the man holding the bleeding child said, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still alive."

A moment or two later, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still breathing."

A moment later, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still warm."

Finally, "Hurry. Oh, God, my child is getting cold."

When they got to the hospital, the little girl was dead.

As the two men were in the lavatory, washing the blood off their hands and their clothes, the man turned to the reporter and said, "This is a terrible task for me. I must go tell her father that his child is dead. He will be heartbroken."

The reporter was amazed. He looked at the grieving man and said, "I thought she was your child."

The man looked back and said, "No, but aren’t they all our children?" ((D.C. Jim Wallis, Who Speaks For God?, New York: Delacorte Press, 1996, pp.72-73). Contributed by: Victor Yap. http://www.sermoncentral.com.)

1. Regardless of who is responsible for the break in relationship--and often there is guilt on both sides--we should determine to make a reconciliation before we come before God to worship.

2. True worship is not enhanced by better music, better prayers, better architecture, or even better preaching.

3. True worship is enhanced by better relationships between those who come to worship.

4. Worship may be improved by our staying away from church until we have made things right with those with whom we know our relationship is strained or broken.

IV. AM I INDIFFERENT TO THOSE IN NEED? James 2:15-16

15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?

Illustration: Caring Is Dangerous

In his book, The Yoke of Christ, Elton Trueblood quotes a letter from a school girl who probes the depth of her soul. She writes, "I’ve been thinking much this year about the importance of caring, of the passion of life. I’ve often realized that it takes courage to care. Caring is dangerous. It leaves you open to hurt and to looking like a fool. And perhaps it’s because they have been hurt so often that people are afraid to care. You can’t die if you’re not alive. And then who would rather be a stone? I have found many places in my own life where I keep a secret store of indifference as a sort of self-protection." That’s a penetrating insight -- a secret store of indifference. We’re to care, because Christ cared -- even though it means a cross. (Contributed by: Randy Aly. http://www.sermoncentral.com.)

A. I Cannot Fail To Regard The Welfare Of Those In Need. Proverbs 21:13

B. Professed Compassion Without Kindness And Care Is Phony. 1 John 3:17

Conclusion

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” So if you’ve honestly determined that there is nothing amiss in your life that would hinder your prayer life, then you must look to God in faith. Even though you don’t understand, you have to trust Him. You must believe that He is working everything together for good, even though the circumstances may suggest otherwise. Consider the story of Gerald Sittser.

On September 27, 1991, as was his custom, Gerald Sittser, a professor of religion and philosophy at Whitworth College, prayed, asking God to protect and bless his family. Something went terribly wrong. Later that afternoon, returning from a family outing, a drunk driver lost control of his car and smashed into the Sittser’s’ minivan. Sittser’s wife Lynda; his daughter Diana Jane; and his mother, who was visiting for the weekend, were all killed in the collision.

Sittser writes: "To this day I have been unable to understand what made that day different. What prevented my prayers from getting through to God? Did I commit some unpardonable sin? Did I fail to say the right words? Did God suddenly turn against me? Why, I have asked myself a thousand times, did my prayer go unanswered?"

He still cannot explain it, but concludes an article on unanswered prayer with these words:

"… Jesus charges us to view life from a redemptive perspective. There is more to life than meets the eye when God gets involved. He works things out for good. … We view unanswered prayer from the perspective of our immediate experience and our limited vision. But God is doing something so great that only faith can grasp it, wait for it, and pray for it." (Gerald L. Sittser from Discipleship Journal, Jan/Feb 2001, p. 26. Contributed by: Joel Smith.)