The Ultimate Ride: Transforming Your Family the Wrong Way
Last week, we began a 7-week journey and I shared with you some vital Life Lessons from Scripture that not only strengthened your family in the immediate…but for a lifetime. The topic was “Leaving a Legacy,” I brought out a Model A Ford and compared the legacy that this vehicle; namely, the assembly line. All this was to illustrate our need to “Leave a Legacy” – a “God-honoring” legacy!
I pointed out Four Lies from Satan about “Leaving a Legacy”
LIE #1 - You Can Leave A Great Legacy Without Seeking God’s Direction.
LIE #2 - You Must Have It All Together To Leave A Great Legacy.
LIE #3 - Your Mistakes Will End Any Chance For A Great Legacy.
LIE #4 - Leaving A Great Legacy Is Really Not That Important.
And then I shared with you that in order to leave a legacy, you must:
1. Put your life in His Hands!
2. Escape from your past!
3. Continue in Faith!
4. Finish!
Well today, I want to continue our series on the family by discussing the topic:
The Ultimate Ride: Transforming Your Life & Family
“Transforming Your Family the Wrong Way”
And just like a good salesman would do, I want to create a need for the cure, before I present to you a cure. Meaning, I want to tell you wrong way to transform your family, before we spend numerous weeks explaining the right way to transform your family.
The Bible does this on numerous occasions. So example, when talking about our need for salvation – to be saved (ie. Forgiven and cleansed) from our sins, it will state the wrong way first . . . like in
Titus 3:5
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.
Salvation is not by OUR works . . . but solely by the work of God!
Likewise, I think it is good to know the wrong way to transform your family before we learn how to do it the right way.
And to illustrate the wrong way to transform your family, we have our car today –
THIS BEAUTY right here is some ride!
. . . a one-of-a-kind edition!
. . . souped-up!!
. . . fully-loaded . . . with “I-don’t-know-what” kinda stuff!!!
[does it actually “take off” into space?!?!]
Is a vintage “1990’s Caprice!”
This version of the Caprice is a far cry from the ones that were manufactured in the 80s that our parents drove! Can you imagine if this was offered in the 1980s?!
Or, if you got dropped off at school in something like this?
NOW, don’t get me wrong, this is a very beautiful car…and it’s great for a family. SEE, it’s got…shiny thing-ies over here . . . and big shiny thing-ies over there . . . and black-as-black-can-be tinted window here . . . ALL A FAMILY CAR NEEDS!
Seriously, now, some of you may like this kind of car. But the point being is that this is NOT a family car.
Well, the same is true about transforming your family.
There is a right way to do it…and there is a wrong way to do it!
The world’s way gives a false sense of success – a way that people think looks good on the outside, but deep down, is just isn’t the right way to do it.
It looks good from the outside…but doesn’t serve your purposes for life.
Unfortunately, the world touts its methods of how to raise a family and keep it together, but, when it is all said and done, the world’s methods just won’t work out.
And so many parents have made these mistakes.
Mistake #1 - They Talk The Talk But Don’t Walk The Walk!
Meaning, many parents TALK about living right and how their children should also, BUT they don’t put feet to their words! They want to “DECLARE TRANSFORMATION” but don’ want to “DO TRANSFORMATION!” But, showing your family your personal example and commitment to the task is paramount to having a healthy family!
Notice a very vivid statement that the Apostle Paul offers Timothy
Philippians 4:9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
But notice the words in sequence – LEARNED…RECEIVED…HEARD, AND THEN . . .“SAW!”
It is NOT just “Do as I say not as I do!” This will NEVER work out. Why? Because every parent quickly learns that children catch the SPIRIT of the home and not the LECTURES of the home! Meaning, you can teach them to not get angry at someone - but if you have a bad case of, say, road rage – the only principle kids will learn that, “It is OK to talk about one thing, but do another!”
WHY? Because children catch the SPIRIT of the home! You must do what Philippians 4:9 teaches:
Learn it from me . . . Receive it from me . . . Hear it from me . . . THEN, Watch me practice what I preach!
My friend, having the Christian life demonstrated by a parent in front of the child’s eyes is crucial to ensure that the child will “get it!” My friend, the same is listening to a lecture – or a sermon. Visuals are for the aid of the listener – to retain the point of the sermon!
THAT’S why I pull a car up on stage . . . because six months from now, you will remember the car, rehearse the reason as to why it is up here . . . and remember the point of the sermon! The same is true about living the Christian life – you can’t just TEACH it, you must LIVE it!!
Mistake #2 – Tenderness Instead of Toughness!
Admittedly, this is a difficult because any loving parent never wants their children to feel pain or any feelings short of perfection. But the point is that the same parents who make THIS mistake are usually the parents who make commit Mistake #1 – they choose “tenderness” over “tough love” because they can’t enforce what they are not willing to do in their own lives!
The Lord does this with us when speaking of His love for us. He lets us know the truth . . . sometimes it hurts . . . but we know it is for our good. For example, He calls us sinners (pretty tough words, huh?) . . . THEN, he shares with us how much he loves us.
One of my favorite verses & a good example of this principle is Romans 5:8 But God demonstrated his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Started off pretty tough – “you are a sinner” . . . but I love you! But, unfortunately, parents who are afraid to speak the tough words, will not affect positive spiritual change in their family member’s life. As a result, they certainly don’t want the family to go to a place that will speak the tough truth out of love – see Mistake #3: Parents who often not only “Talk it but they Don’t “Walk!” & choose “Tenderness” over “Tough Love,” will make the following mistake also:
Mistake #3 - They Play But Don’t Pray!
Meaning, they will avoid all spiritual activity, deep spiritual discussions, and church attendance. Now, I understand taking family vacation…but you are doing your child no favors by not taking your own child to church so that as a family you can all learn about how to fulfill the spiritual needs in all of your lives – together!
I am proud of parents who spend “quality” time with their children – you are to be commended! But it is not reaching its fullest “quality” if it is devoid of “Christ!”
Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
My friend, as we work during the work week, we are so inundated with garbage and filth. We need to be around a spiritually-rich environment that promotes the pure teachings of Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior!
Your children need to be around other children who are not ashamed to sing to the Lord – pray to the Lord – learn about Jesus Christ – talk about Jesus to others – be taught by Godly teachers. That is what is provided at church – I can at least speak for THIS CHURCH – Thomas Road Baptist Church!
YOU too mother/father need to be around the same environment! If I may get personal for a moment – I think some of you know that your spouse is praying that you would change your environment so as to help you see that it is not only possible but needed to change your heart. And some of you know . . . that your spouse is right.
Listen, my friend, walking in these walls never changed anybody. But I can tell you that walking in these walls sure makes it easier to worship Christ and learn about him and do the right thing…because that what this church is all about. Some of you need to join this church today . . . or get into a Bible-believing, Christ-loving church near your own home today! Some of you are watching by TV right now and you need to come over and be here rather than simply watching.
Mistake #4 - They Focus on Earning Rather Than Yearning!
Matthew 6:19-20 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
So many parents struggle to provide what other parents are able to provide and they come home miserable when they realize they are not physically able to provide what others provide for their children. Yet, instead of focusing on earning, it is far more important to focus on a yearning to spend more time with your family.
Well, some seemingly contentious parents may say, “but I try to keep up with the families of the kids friends so that my kids won’t be embarrassed by not having what the friends they are playing with have. Listen, my Friend, I can tell you from experience, kids don’t want stuff, they want a DAD…or a MOM. And at life’s end, they will brag on how special & strong a relationship you guys have together – and NOT stuff!
In fact, I’ll prove it this morning . . . take this little quiz with me. Don’t answer out loud. Here you go:
Think of one or two of your most fondest memories of your mother and/or father-Is it something they GAVE you or is it something that they did with you? I am going to bet that you thought of times to where you guys were just hangin’ out…being yourselves…not doing much…but just being together!
You see, that is what matters!
Mistake #5 – Their Savings Account Is Full Of The Wrong Things!
Notice the very next verse after the verses I just shared in Mistake #4:
Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Meaning, you keep up with the Jones’…it will not be the CAUSE of your problem…but it will be the evidence of the nature of your problem – a spiritual heart problem.
Meaning, they save for future retirement, money, houses, and lands, but they do not invest in what will provide spiritual security – eternal security – Salvation – AND a spiritual, healthy, Godly aspect of life.
Matthew 16:26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
Listen, my friend, you may have economic peace, political peace, social peace – all kinds of peace. But I am persuaded that there is someone sitting under the sound of my voice today that does not have the certainty that you have peace with God!
You are looking in all the wrong places to find it. You are trying all the wrong ways to transform your life…and you’re missing the truth about how to truly transform your life: Jesus Christ.
Here’s how, the Bible says that you must:
1) Agree with God of your sinful state!
2) Believe that Jesus is God!
3) Believe that Jesus’ sacrifice was sufficient to pay for your sins!
4) Believe that Jesus physically rose from the dead – proving that He can conquer both physical and spiritual death!
5) Place your trust in His promise to save you!!
And all the tension and inner turmoil that is caused by making these first four mistakes, leads to the SIXTH Mistake Parents make when raising a family:
Mistake #6 - They Fight Rather Than Forgive!
Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
You see, that is why salvation is SO important! God’s salvation - that I just mentioned a moment ago – is the basis for how we should forgive! WHY should you desire to transform your family – the right way - God’s way?
You see, my friends, you have seen that our comparison for this series is a series of cars. It is an invention that has led to many future inventions that have enhanced our transportation and driving experience. BUT, here me Friend, aside from Salvation and honoring our Lord Jesus Christ, the family is MORE IMPORTANT than anything!!
AND, if things are wrong with the family, it affects every area of your life!
How do I know??? How many times have you driven in a nice luxury car with all the bells & whistles…and not even enjoyed them because while you were driving, say home from work, your mind was consumed & worried about how you’re going to salvage your family from breaking apart!!!
How many times have you driven in that car…while worrying about them! The family is far more important that some invention of man, cars, houses, possessions…it is what is there when all is gone. It is worth investing in. It can be The Ultimate Ride and I pray that you’ll climb on board and commit to investing in what provides eternal rewards.
If you have never really accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, would you do it right now? Do not delay or put it off. If you would like to receive Christ by faith, pray this simple prayer in your heart:
Dear Lord, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I believe Jesus died for my sins on the cross, and rose again the third day. I repent of my sins. By faith I receive the Lord Jesus as my Savior. You promised to save me, and I believe You, because You are God and cannot lie. I believe right now that the Lord Jesus is my personal Savior, and that all my sins are forgiven through His precious blood. I thank You, dear Lord, for saving me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you prayed that prayer, God heard you and saved you. I personally want to welcome you to the family of God and rejoice with you.
