Less Like Scars
Lessons from Room 247
TCF Sermon
February 24, 2008
Wow. What a few weeks we’ve had here at TCF. New carpet. Missions conference. All good stuff, huh?
It’s a dangerous thing for us regulars in the pulpit to invite people outside the elders to speak to us. Because when a special event like our missions conference is all said and done, that means one of us has to get up here and follow someone in the pulpit, like the dynamic Terry Ligon a couple Sundays ago and then his Q&A with Mary Wednesday night - (didn’t Terry bring a really inspiring missions conference kickoff message?), or the fascinating and provocative, full-of-interesting-information Georges Sada.
My goodness, Terry has lived in the war-torn nation of Lebanon, and gotten kicked out of Egypt for sharing the gospel. General Sada is one who confronted a man of historical significance in Saddam Hussein – who has been up close and personal with a powerful world figure and lived to tell about it.
Me? I bumped into Ted Turner once at a cable TV convention – literally.
You’ve heard the phrase – that’s a tough act to follow? That’s definitely how I feel this morning, especially since I doubt anyone would ever apply adjectives to my preaching like dynamic, fascinating or provocative.
What’s more, it’s hard for me to forget that the last time I was in the pulpit at TCF, I had just left my daughter’s hospital room an hour or so before I got to church. I was in the midst of living the theme we looked at that particular morning – Radically God Dependent.
Just a few days after I preached that message, still in the midst of living it out in a very real way, I was sitting in the hospital room while Lisa slept, reading the Word, thinking about things.
I found tremendous solace and great courage in the Word of God during that time. I found things that I already knew that spoke to me in a deeper, fresh, tangible way.
Isn’t that the way it is sometimes? Things we’ve learned we don’t necessarily re-learn, but God reveals a new dimension to something that He’s already taught us in one way or another. That’s why we can read, and re-read, God’s Word over the years, and still draw fresh insight even when we review very familiar passages.
One of the things God’s been doing in me in the past few years is something we’ve looked at in other sermons. Even last June, on Father’s Day, we looked at this idea that fatherhood for me, and perhaps other aspects of life for some of the rest of you – things such as marriage, school, certain relationships, etc. – these things are not about making us happy, but God intends them as things in our lives that contribute to making us holy.
As such, these are things we might not – probably wouldn’t - choose in advance if we knew the pain and hurt they would bring – but in hindsight, we can honestly say that we are glad we experienced these things. During those several days in the hospital, I believe God taught me a lot. Honestly, I’m not sure I can say that I’m actually glad I experienced it just yet. But, I had to whittle these lessons down to a few key points for this morning.
I want to take the next several minutes to touch on four of the things I learned. As I reflect on these things, they’re beginning to feel less like scars that were inflicted on me, and more like character that God’s building in me. It’s more of what God is doing to mold and shape me into the image and likeness of Christ.
We’ll look at that analogy of looking less like scars, and more like character in closing this morning, and we’ll have a chance to reflect on that idea with a song that I’ve asked Heather to sing as our response at the end. These things we’ll look at today are Less Like Scars – Lessons from Room 247 – that’s the title of this morning’s message.
That’s because I sat for more than 7 of those days in room 247 of Saint Francis South – about 12 hours each of those days. That was the sanctuary of God’s presence – that was the place I learned and reflected on these four things.
Only number one is a fresh insight to me – maybe it isn’t for you because you’re smarter and less thick than I am – the rest are things I’ve seen and learned, but believe God has implanted these things deeper in me recently.
1. there’s a clear connection between relationship, and confidence (or trust)
2. the Body of Christ – you – are His hands and His feet on this earth
3. God is a faithful God
4. suffering is meaningless apart from the Lord
a. God uses circumstances to mold and shape us
The first insight is what originally got me to thinking about this message today. As a result, I’ll probably spend a few more minutes on this than on the others.
There’s a clear connection between relationships and confidence – or trust.
1 John 4:16 (NIV) And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
Psalms 71:5 (NIV) For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
These verses seem to, in some ways, illustrate the idea that we rely on God, we have confidence in him. But why? Why do we have confidence in God?
The apostle John said we know the love God has for us. We know it and we rely on it. But how can you know the love of God apart from a relationship with Him?
How can you live in God, as the verse in 1 John says, without being in relationship with Him? How can God be in us, as it says, without being in relationship with Him? It seems to me that this is the constant – even a significant part of the reason that we can rely on – have confidence in – trust in, the love of God. Because of our relationship with Him. Because we know Him. Because He knows us. The Psalmist says that the Lord is his hope and his confidence.
But let’s see how long it’s been that way – how long has the Lord been his confidence?
Since my youth, he writes. Now, there’s no inscription indicating for certain who wrote Psalm 71, as there are with some other Psalms. But many scholars believe, for reasons I won’t go into, that David wrote Psalm 71, and that he wrote it in his old age. But even if that’s not the case, since the writer of this Psalm made a point to say that the Lord has been his confidence since his youth, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s not a youth anymore.
My point is, his confidence in the Lord has been proven over time, and relationships, too, take time to build, and are proven over time. So, what inspires confidence in someone? One thing that’s critical for confidence is that the person in whom you are confident has competence & understanding - in other words, they know what they’re doing, or what they’re talking about.
But confidence seems to need more than that to build. Confidence is best inspired in relationship. More specifically, relationship observed and experienced, sometimes, over a period of time.
If someone is competent, but the relationship you have with them is lacking because of something, it’s hard to invest your confidence in them.
Here’s what got me thinking about this clear connection between relationship and confidence. One of Lisa’s doctors was very nice. Now, I realize that very nice certainly isn’t enough, all by itself, to inspire confidence, but it begins to help us have confidence in a person when we have at least a cordial relationship.
Another doctor, Lisa’s surgeon, was really difficult to like. Moments after Lisa’s surgery, he came out to give us a report, and practically scolded me for bringing her to the wrong hospital, because the gastroenterologist she was seeing before she was hospitalized didn’t have hospital privileges at the hospital where we were. He was rather abrupt and gruff with Lisa when he saw her, too.
I thought Jim Garrett’s analogy was good – he heard that exchange with the surgeon the day Lisa was admitted to the hospital and had surgery. Jim said he was like an auto mechanic telling us what part of the engine needed to be fixed. There was no real compassion or caring in his demeanor, and he came across as abrupt and uncaring. We said that he must have flunked bedside manner 101.
So the difference in our response to these two doctors was like night and day. As I thought about it, and wondered why this was true, the only thing that made sense to me was that this one doctor related to Lisa, and to me, so much better. She took time to relate to her, to show that she cared. So, when she walked into the room, over the many days in the hospital, we had real confidence in this doctor, and struggled to trust the other.
When someone makes it clear that they love us, when their attitude, their demeanor, shows that they care, when their actions reveal that they understand, it’s the beginning of confidence.
Of course, it’s critical that those we have good relationships with are actually able to do what we are investing our confidence in them doing. It doesn’t do us any good if they show their care and concern for us but can’t do what they’re supposed to do.
Confidence may not completely equal trust, but they are almost synonyms. Here’s what I thought. We have confidence in God, we have confidence in His ability to save us, to heal us, to help us, to walk with us in our struggles, to direct us, to bring us into eternal life with Him, in large part because of the relationship we have with God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
God chose to relate to us in the flesh – not from His throne room in heaven. He chose to sit down on our hospital bed, spend time with us (He was the Word become flesh, who dwelt among us). He chose to be one of us – not above us, though He clearly is above us, as we are only jars of clay – weak and frail human beings. But He chose to relate to us – rather than remain distant.
Now, if Jesus was not also divine, if He wasn’t God in the flesh, if He was just a nice guy, who loved us and hung out with us, and not the Maker of the universe, then we might not have adequate reason to have confidence in His ability to do these things we’ve listed.
But the beginning of that ability to trust Him, to have confidence in Him, is due in large part to the way He chose to relate to us.
Just like that doctor in room 247. She chose to relate to us in a much more winsome way, and much more loving and compassionate way, than the other doctor did. So we had more confidence in her.
Now, as far as I know, the surgeon we didn’t like so much may have been the best surgeon in Tulsa. And in the end, if he was the best surgeon in Tulsa but a jerk to get along with, and the other doctor was the nicest doctor in Tulsa but didn’t know an ileum from a colon, then I think I would have chosen to have more confidence in the jerk surgeon instead of the nice but ignorant doctor.
But in Jesus – we’re not forced to make such a choice. We have both relationship and complete capability. We have the One through whom, the Word of God tells us, all things were made. If He’s God’s agent in creation, as John 1:3 tells us, and He also relates to us as God in the flesh, as John 1:14 tells us, then we don’t have to pick between these two choices – we don’t have to decide to have confidence in either the jerk or the nice one, because Jesus embodies the love of God and the capability of God.
Now, it’s another topic altogether – but don’t assume I’m saying here this morning that we can have confidence in Jesus because He’s nice. In fact, in some ways, I don’t think He is what we would call “nice.” But He does have a relationship with us, and that relationship includes an amazing grace and an unfathomable love, along with the capability to save us from our sins.
My second lesson from room 247:
You are, the body of Christ is, His hands and His feet.
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 (NIV) If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
I’ve often referred to this passage of scripture in describing the depth of relationship God has given us at TCF. But it also clearly describes us as parts of His body – meaning we are His instruments – we do the things Jesus would do if He were here in the flesh with us today.
I saw that so clearly in that hospital room and other parts of St Francis South during that 10 days. Much of the time in the hospital was very emotional, but for the most part I held it together.
Yet there was were several moments when I saw verse 26 come to pass – if one part suffers, every part suffers with it. We were standing in the lobby of the hospital. Dave Troutman was there. Jim and Barbara Garrett were there. Barb was there and I was there. We were talking about what was happening at that moment – Lisa was in surgery at that moment. I can’t think about this without getting emotional. I was almost matter-of-factly describing what was going on to those who were there. And in walks Joel Vesanen. He walks up, and I see tears in his eyes. At that moment, I almost lost it – I had a hard time speaking without emotion in my voice. That was the emotional trigger for me – not just the difficulty of what we were experiencing, that was definitely there…but that here were my brothers and sisters – the Body of Christ – surrounding me and Barb, loving us, supporting us,
and yes, even weeping with us. Each one was entering into our pain and hurt – Joel just illustrated what all of them were experiencing when he had tears in his eyes.
What a wonderful picture of the love of God – how we help to carry one another’s burdens. I think we do a lot of things well in this little church, but perhaps that’s the one thing we do best.
I thought similar things when many of you came to visit Lisa.
Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NIV) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
I’ve had the privilege of being on the giving end of that comfort through the years, and I must say it’s also a privilege to be on the receiving end of it, too,
to see the Body of Christ at work in my life.
The third thing I learned, and keep learning and learning by the very nature of it, is that God is faithful. I’ve probably never experienced anything like this, an experience that gave me plenty of reasons to whine or complain, in which I was also so able to so clearly see the faithfulness of God, the grace of God in the midst of painful circumstances.
A couple of passages came to mind during these 10 days:
Lamentations 3:19-26 (NIV) I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
During those 10 days, I sent out several emails to an ever-growing list of people who were checking in on Lisa’s condition. It started as a way to keep family out of town informed without having to make several individual phone calls, and later became a way to keep many others, in town and out of town, up to date on what was happening. One day, I wrote this:
Throughout, we are being upheld by the arms of our great God, finding our strength in His grace and mercy, and trusting Him as our source of supply, emotionally, materially and spiritually. We believe God is working in this situation, in ways we can see and understand, and in ways we haven’t grasped as of yet. But God is with us, and though I’d be lying if I said this was not an ordeal, I can also say that Barb and I are firmly in His grip, and trusting in His love. Yesterday, reading scripture while Lisa was sleeping, I was in Romans 8 – just happens to be where I am in my Bible reading (if you believe anything at all “just happens” when you’re serving the Maker of the Universe). I know it’s a very familiar passage, but for us, this is very real, and (it is) God’s word for right now, as He is a very present help in times of trouble.
Romans 8:18-39 (NIV) 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. 31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And then I wrote: We cling to and trust in the truth of these words. Thank you again for your overwhelming love and support, and keep those prayers going. We love all of you.
A few days later, I wrote this:
I prayed with Lisa this morning, and we thanked our great and mighty God for His sustaining mercy, for the good care she’s received here, for the knowledge He provides doctors and scientists to develop drugs that help with illnesses like hers and enabled her to get through what would otherwise have been a devastatingly painful past 9 days. We also thanked the Lord for all of you, for your love and support, for the cards, the visits, the flowers, the stuffed animals, the pictures (the original Lydia Clutter Picasso is hanging on the cabinet in her hospital room and has been the subject of many comments, along with the pink stuffed poodle the Staub girls brought her and the smell of all the flowers). We serve a loving, merciful and faithful God. That was true when all this began when we didn’t know what would happen. It was true in the middle of it when things were very difficult and we couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s true today, as we anticipate Lisa’s release from the hospital and a return to normalcy soon.
Now, my last point this morning: suffering is meaningless apart from the Lord - and a subset of that truth is that God uses circumstances to mold and shape us.
Psalms 119:75 (NIV) I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
This is a scripture that should be a part of any theology of suffering. And yes, there is a theology of suffering. Or there should be. But so often in the modern church, we don’t have such a theology. And because we don’t, we’re crushed under the weight of suffering when it inevitably comes. We say, where is God? Why must there be this suffering?
I don’t have all the answers to that question – no one does. But there are some answers. We can relate God’s faithfulness, which we just looked at, to our afflictions. We suffer because God uses suffering. And apart from God, suffering is meaningless. But with God, suffering has great meaning and great purpose. Sometimes there are purposes we can see. Sometimes, they’re harder or impossible to see. But that doesn’t deny that there is a purpose in the hard experiences of life.
There are so many passages of scripture that illustrate these truths, but I’ve picked three to read to you this morning.
Psalms 66:8-12 (NIV)Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.
Romans 5:3-5 (NIV) Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Suffering has purpose in the life of a believer in Christ, because we live with an eternal worldview.
I don’t want to make light of suffering. Many of you here have suffered so much more than Lisa did. So much more than Barb and I did – and believe me, all the parents here know that parents suffer tremendously when their children suffer.
So while we don’t make light of suffering in any way, the real question is not whether we’ll suffer, but how we’ll suffer, and how we’ll respond to the inevitable suffering that life brings. Do we value wisdom more than comfort? Do we value growth in God more than complacency?
17th century Puritan pastor Thomas Watson said that afflictions are:
“the medicine that God uses to carry off our spiritual diseases.”
Gary Thomas adds: They loosen our hearts from the world – an experiential crowbar, of sorts, reminding us that we are not to make our home here - and they even make us happy, if we respond to them by drawing nearer to God. (Rom 5:3-5)
Nothing is wasted in the economy of God. There’s no such thing as a wasted experience. Apart from God, suffering seems like a total waste, because it has no purpose. But, in His hands, the pain and hurt seem less like scars, and more like character.
That’s the message I want to close with. I’m going to pray, and when I’m done, we’re going to listen to a song which will help us meditate on some of the things we looked at this morning. As you listen seek God for the response you should make prayerfully.
You can stand, sit, kneel, or even come to the altar – let the Holy Spirit minister His life to you.
Pray.
Less Like Scars -----Sara Groves
It’s been a hard year, But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard, Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s
Less like tearing, more like building, Less like captive, more like willing,
Less like breakdown, more like surrender,
Less like haunting, more like remember
And I feel you here,
And you’re picking up the pieces, Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation,
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt,
Look less like scars
and more like Character
Less like a prison, more like my room, It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending, Less like fear, less like an ending
And I feel you here, And you’re picking up the pieces, Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation,
But you are able
And in your hands
the pain and hurt Look less like scars
Just a little while ago, I couldn’t feel the power or the hope, I couldn’t cope,
I couldn’t feel a thing, Just a little while back, I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping You would come
And I need you - And I want you here - And I feel you
And I know you’re here, And you’re picking up the pieces, Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation, But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars (x3) And more like Character
